What To Do When People Treat You Like A Doormat - Jocko Willink and Echo Charles

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Excerpt from JOCKOPODCAST 177

[That_CopDude]

Be careful what you tolerate, because you are teaching people how to treat you.

[cryora]

"You are under no obligation to be the same person you were five minutes ago." - Alan Watts

[jameznash]

As soon as you stand up for yourself - they call you aggressive, violent or nasty. That is a terrible trait and if you have somebody that pushes you and pushes you then plays the victim as soon as you say "no" to them, then walk away from them and dont turn back

[Aerational]

The problem is there are so many parents who dominate their children into having zero teeth or self esteem. You are forced to be polite at all times and never learn to deal with confrontation in a reasonable way. You just sit there and repress for as long as you can until the dam breaks. It's really really hard for me to be anything but polite with someone I barely know, I've been taught my whole life I am the problem... and that I'm just too sensitive etc etc. So I tend to wait a long time to make sure the other person really is being offensive and I'm not just imagining it.

[SnookOnTheFly]

Heard a great saying. The people who get mad at you for setting boundaries are the people who benefited from you not having any. I'm finally putting my foot down and now I'm public enemy number one

[nomoreescape]

"You've got enemies?
Good! It means you stood up for something"..

[CFABN]

Physically distancing yourself from people that don't take you seriously or treat you like a doormat can create mental and emotional distance which will help regain confidence and self assurance and allow you to protect yourself. Get out of punching, range so to speak. Maintain a safe distance.

[glendarelli]

I drop anyone that consistently insult me. Just like Jocko said once.."every second counts" well every insult affects you and your self esteem over time. My definition of friendship is mutual respect.

[RealBangBang]

I used to have a boss who just treated everyone like Trash. One day he starts screaming at me for nothing and I just started laughing and turned around and looked at him and said "you better calm down old man or you're going to have a heart attack" he fired me on the spot. and I will say that's been one of the best things that's happened to me.

[juliovillegas]

This homie is giving advice with a knife in his hand lol

[AustinStross]

“Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don’t matter and those who matter don’t mind.”— Dr. Seuss🙌🏻💯

[rumandbass]

There are three things all wise men fear: The sea in a storm, a night with no moon, and the anger of a gentle man

[FTFreedom]

Stand your ground early and often. Your friends list will be for real.

[sammylenjou]

If you have narcissistic parents, you get raised to be a doormat...not only to your parents but for everyone.
Then you get bullied in school and at work of course.
First step is : realizing this.
Second step : stand up for yourself in a kind manner but every second of the day.
This will break your habit and other people's habit over time.
Word of caution :
Narcissistic parents will start a war on you the first year.
Do not comply in any way, but stay calm and just say no.
This is my experience.
*UPDATE 22TH JULY 2023*
I found cognitive behavioral therapy, this will help us manage negative emotions like anger, frustrations, fear, ... when they get triggered by for example a narcissist, And not keeping them in but expressing these emotions in a calm conversation, setting our boundaries (which I never learned) before these emotions destroy us on the inside. In my case my digestion.
It could be really helpful to find and start this therapy.
Good luck warriors 🤞🏻💪🏻

[MonaLisaFaceMusic]

Also a note on agreeableness: make sure your agreeableness isn’t actually a trauma response to avoid rejection or perceived abandonment. This will usually be accompanied by a feeling of entitlement “I did this for them so they should treat me well in return”. Being a kind, good and honest person is far superior to any kind of agreeableness for any reason.

[GabrielGarcia-]

I've noticed for years, no matter where I lived, people can treat you like crap, but if you say anything back, you're the bad guy. Even if it's the first time

[Jim-Bob-Billy-Joe-Johnson]

Most people talk with their hands. Jocko talks with a knife.

[umermahmood]

I used to be a doormat for people mostly in my teens and early 20's, and then one day I decided to face my fears and the more I did it, the more assertive I became and people around me were in shock. Exactly what you're saying Jocko.

[noaboa]

Became friends with every bully I’ve ever had. Almost every reason for why they picked on me was because I didn’t care how people viewed me and it bothered them I didn’t need that approval. I just cared how I view myself. I know too many people who let random people live in their head when that person probably doesn’t even know who they are. The problems of a generation that promoted narcissism distanced humbleness and ignores originality. The realm of basic accountability is just lost to so many.

[wadeparker]

It depends on how much you’ve been beaten down picked on and bullied throughout your life and sometimes you stood up for yourself and sometimes you didn’t. Most the time you didn’t. Then you get older. Then when these things happen you are hypersensitive to it, you do think about it, you ruminate on it. You think about killing the person. You have to take medication to keep you calm and try to get on with your day and you swear to yourself that if anyone does it today you’re going to stand up for yourself. So when the time comes that someone even slightly insults you or picks on you or seemingly bullies you, you explode. Don’t let it go too far! Always stand up for yourself! If you don’t it’ll eat you alive. It’s not so easy to just say “don’t let it get to you “. Stay hard