Age Gap Relationships Onscreen - Why They Bother Us

When age-gap romances aren’t tainted by power imbalances, there’s a sense that getting to know someone from a different generation can unlock understanding about ourselves and others. Maybe being with someone who doesn’t share your particular set of references forces a greater level of authenticity – and pushes you to figure out who you really are.

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We are The Take (formerly ScreenPrism).

[trinaq]

While Monica and Richard were both consenting adults when they started dating, it's still a little disturbing to think that he's watched her grow up, and probably even held her as a baby.

[cocobl]

My dad didn’t really understand why I had an issue with Monica and Richard until my brother told him, “Imagine if Uncle Doofy and her started going out” and he immediately understood. Uncle Doofy is not our actual uncle by the way, but dad’s best friend for 25+ years.

[Emi-dwdi]

Relationships like Jay and Gloria doesn't seem wrong to me, they're 2 adults who consent, Monica and Richard make me uncomfortable just because he's friends with her dad and probably saw her as a baby/toddler, and whatever was between Jacob and Bella's baby that's just wrong

[lilil]

Age gaps between people who just meet doesn't seem that bad, ex: Gloria was already grown when she met Jay, Monica and Richard is a little more unsettling since they meet when she was a child and was a friend of her father but at the very least he didn't see her grow up. The werewolfs in Twilight...those are just yikes

[astrolatte_]

Gloria and Jake's relationship just seems so healthy to me because we don't feel a power imbalance in the dynamic. Gloria is a grown up woman, with a son, that knows what she wants and what she's getting with Jake, an older man with adults children that just wants a peaceful life and to share his life with someone.

[mknees]

Woody Allen casting himself with younger, more attractive women is delusional at best. His real life...situation? Now that´s fucked up.

[alorapendrak]

Lolitia pisses me off! The movies that is the creepy directors who made them completely missed the truth of the novel which was a depiction of how sexual predators justify themselves and try to control the narrative. The story was written by a man who faced the same predatory/ grooming behavior from his own uncle and told the story using a young girl who he gave agency to get away from her abuser. Even with her abuser trying to reframe her as a seductress. The directors wouldn't even let her act like a kid unlike the book where Dores acted like a sullen preteen.

[augustgreig]

I've heard porn stas say there are basically only two categories for girls. Young looking enough to be a "teen", and old enough looking to be a "milf". There's a middle ground there which is apparently difficult to market. I think that's telling.

[shboomgirl]

If I could only give one piece of advice to a person in their late teens to mid twenties it's would be this: When someone significantly older tells you that you are mature for your age, DON'T FALL FOR IT. Don't let their attention flatter you. Many older people who go for 18-24 year olds only so because they know they will hold the power in the relationship as they are more powerful/more experienced/more financially stable than the younger person. They don't want an equal partnership, they want control.

[AlMaghreb.]

I don’t mind an age-gap relationships when the age-gap is actually mentioned. What I HATE in hollywood in when they pair young and beautiful actresses with older man, WITHOUT mentioning the obvious age-gap, making us believe that they’re the same age…

[lukedodson]

I think Jay and Gloria continue to be a stand out example because no matter how cliche their premise is, they're both fully realized individual characters. They are two people with their own long, complex personal stories that met organically and Jay just happens to be older than Gloria.

[kiramantzos]

The only relationship i ever saw that didn't make me feel weird about it was jay and gloria

[LauraSomeNumber]

How these heterosexual relationships are portrayed:
Men with a younger women = every man's dream.
Woman with younger man = desperate/why would he be with her?
Man with a girl under 18 = abuse
Woman with a boy under 18 = every boy's dream/good for him/what is he complaining about.

[melissaunderhill]

I’d also be interested in The Take’s perspective on the casting of older men and younger women in films and tv as characters of the same age. I’ve been noticing a lot recently that adult characters are portrayed as having grown up together as children, but the actors portraying their adult counter parts are sometimes 20 or more years different in age. Why is this culturally acceptable, and do audiences even realize there’s an age gap when they aren’t familiar with the actors?

[neongelb]

The problem is: when you are in an toxic relationship like that (for example as a minor whith an older person) you don´t see it. Especially when other people try to talk to you about it. You brush off every criticism and as a friend you really have no other choice than wait until the person realizes it themself.

[RoseEyed]

I will say there's a big difference between coincidentally ending up in a relationship with someone older/younger than you than there is someone who INTENTIONALLY, ACTIVELY seeks out those age gaps. The former is just an interesting aspect of adulthood: The older you get the less of an emotional/intellectual difference there is between you and others, regardless of age. The latter, however, comes off as very predatory (even if legal) since people with less experience are less likely to notice your red flags.

[empressmarowynn]

When I was 19 I worked at a store where all the other employees were aged 45 and up. I used to work evening shifts with this one lady and we had such a fun time. We had similar tastes and hobbies but due to her age and life experience she was able to give me tons of great advice. She also showed me that it was okay to be different from the standard in our small town and to stop caring what others thought. And she preferred to be friends with younger people because most of the people around her age in that town tended to be very old fashioned in their way of thinking and judged her for being a bit "weird." She even ended up marrying a guy about 15 years younger who was clearly madly in love with her. She was exactly the person I needed to befriend when I was just becoming an adult and trying to figure out myself and my life.

[stevegeorge]

As a Trope, it makes for interesting storytelling. In reality, it can work so long as the people involved accept and allow for the differences. No one in any relationship should have to drop everything they are for the other person.

[TyneeBubbles]

Driving Lessons starring Rupert Grint, Julie Walters, Laura Linley, ect is such a beautiful example of a fully platonic relationship developing between a teen boy and much older woman, that ends up being hugely beneficial for all involved. Love doesn't always have to equate to romantic love, platonic relationships can be just as important/significant.

Sad not many know this film, it's honestly so good

[kellie]

I’m glad this touched on the non romantic age gap relationships. There is so much the generations can learn from each other it can be one of the most enriching things we can experience in life.