3 tips for dealing with adult mean girls

Dr. Karyn Gordon talks about how to cope with bullying and social exclusion by finding your true friends and being friendly but distant with the mean girls.

[Ama]

nobody is your friend at work. I learned it the hard way.

[godivaknight]

“Be friendly, but distant” is how I live my life (mainly my work life). This keeps drama down. It also keeps the wrong people from becoming too familiar and/or comfortable with me.

[dragonalchemy]

They never grew up. People who bully others are not adults. Simple.

[bartakin]

Decent people have no time ...for this nonsense. Being mean is a fail ..

[creativebeauty]

Comes from a lack of confidence, self love and jealousy

[missycitty]

I do not talk about my personal life AT ALL at work. EVER. I go to work, put in my time, and go home.
Work is separate from home. It's the ONLY way.
You're not there to make friends. You're there for a paycheck. Period.

[Aieshoo]

Why can’t women just be happy for each other?

[lovelove]

I don’t believe in sisterhood. I have been disappointed many times. Women are mean and jealous! They are fake so I prefer to be friendly but distant

[nancygonzalez]

If you were a mean girl as a child, you are one as an adult. People don’t change.

[numissmatic]

A lot of people go through stuff like this, and never become bullies, there is NO excuse to treat people this way for ANY reason!

[KrystalKrunch]

I’m currently going through this. I work in the medical field for a hospital. Being friendly and keeping your distance really isn’t good enough. They still will talk about you behind your back and create false lies about you to get others to not like you too. The more they don’t know about you, the more they make up stuff… just to have something to talk about.
I mind my business and I stay out of the way. I don’t bother anyone. So what reason would they have to even mention my name? It’s crazy

[MrsKreivetype]

These people are not happy in their own lives...period. I've never seen a happy, content person behave this way.

[sparkleafter]

I have found that exclusion has been a wonderful gift. I recently learned that I am allowed boundaries and I am teaching my children it is ok to have boundaries. When I am excluded from a group I see it as a blocked door for toxicity in my life. It was not my group to be a part of and a much better group is out there for me. I would rather be alone for a short time and find my right group of friends than to settle. I love the friendly but distant advice. I view it as respecting myself by being respectful of others.

[sherylpowell]

Workplace exclusion bullying is terrible. I had one woman that would not give me eye contact when talking to me. It was quite clear that she didn't want to speak to me, even though I was the new girl, I was trying to be friendly. It did affect my mood for a while, as I was vulnerable due to other issues happening in my life and always thought I had done something terribly wrong. I also noticed that she looked up to a few of the other girls in the office and she was lovely to them. Now I'm much older, I realise the psychology behind these people. They need help with their own issues. They are not even worth considering

[Barbie-ggfx]

I've experienced mean girl as an adult. It hurts more because it's premeditated by adult females, and when your an adult you understand what's going on.... I prefer to be a loner.

[mscardioqueen]

"Three tips when dealing with mean girls"

[dianethompson]

I’m a hairstylist and salons are full of mean girls!! There are always little clicks that put other people down! Being distant and not getting pulled into the drama is the only way to survive!!

[SuperCastilloe]

This is a fact, I highly recommend the book “Working with Bitches” it’s not in our heads it’s a fact happening in work places everyday!

[maroonpilgrim]

I'm a nun and I've experienced this from nuns. Friendly but distant and then find your tribe - words to live by.

[LayeredVegan]

Getting compensated is why I work. No bonds of friendship at work. I am concise, brief, and I maintain a fast pace on my job. No, my coworkers and I are not having lunch. Regrettably, I have encountered this phenomenon more frequently among ladies of my own racial melonated background.