When Does the ODD Start?

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My first year teaching, I had a student who I was told to always watch and be careful about him, because he had apparently tried to kill his younger sibling in his crib as a baby and his mother was terrified of him. You would never know that something was up with this kid. He would just sit quietly and do his work and never ever ever seen like anything was wrong and then he would just secretly do something so heinous like try to smother his baby brother in the bassinet.

DaughterofDiogenes

To me harsh neglectful parenting is poor parenting. Not saying that every ODD case involves poor parenting but in my experience the teens I knew who had ODD had gone through a lot of abuse especially physical abuse.

Catlily

First time I heard about this was Corey from Daddy of Five: the kid was the family scapegoat at age 7.

ElanaVital

I tried being ODD with my mama ONCE! Consequences were swift and effective. I turned out just fine.

MelanieGraceTV

Getting a mixed message on this one. Seems like this isn’t just caused by bad parenting, but also, bad parenting causes this. I wish we’d stop skirting around the fact that bad parenting causes a slew of mental health issues and is a major factor in a lot of societal issues.

I’m tired of people’s cognitive biases and negativity biases resulting in screeching rage, because they are incapable of processing and accepting bad information.

DonkThikkness

I had an ODD child but was absolutely NOT neglectful or overly harsh. We followed the advice of therapists and doctors and tried dozens of combinations of meds. I read and reread parenting and psychology books, and questioned myself over and over. We spent thousands upon thousands of dollars on hospitalizations between ages 7 and 16. When he was 5, in a state of utter frustration I asked him why he refuses to do ANY single thing that is asked of him. He looked me in the eye and said, “if I do what you want me to do, I lose.” He’s almost 20 now, and he still struggles with anything he perceives as a loss of self-determination, no matter if he fundamentally agrees with it or not. If someone says, you need to do this, he will resent it and struggle REALLY HARD to overcome his need for defiance.

I have showered this child with as much love and affection as I possibly could, even when I was outraged and devastated by his behaviors. I really resent your blanket statement that neglect caused the situation. Some children are just wired that way, for unknown reasons.

callmeneutrino