Dependent Personality Disorder Signs to Looks Out For

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MedCircle sat down with Dr. Ramani Durvasula to discuss how to spot the signs of a highly misunderstood mental health condition, dependent personality disorder (DPD.)

She answers:
What does dependent personality disorder look like in a parent?
What does it look like in a spouse?
What are some common behaviors of dependent personality disorder?

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[aaish]

I’m DPD and my husband is a classic narcissist. Wow what a deadly combo?

[LuckyBadger]

This is so true. Ever since I was a little girl, my mom told me "Marry a man to take care of you." Never mind love, or friendship, or respect - just make sure they take care of you.

[amyi]

Wow... This is so true. My mom had a dependent parenting style. I couldn’t wait to get the hell out of my parents house. However my 23 yo twinbrother is still living with them and seems to be unable to build a life for himself...

[bbilgers]

People with dependent personality disorder are really stressful to be around. They are beyond helpless and needy, making a healthy relationship impossible. They can seem sweet and they think they are sweet but they take up so much space and don't really reciprocate. It's like having a child that never grows or learns but thinks they are a grown up

[Sameoldfitup]

“Nobody sees anybody truly but all through the flaws of their own egos. That is the way we all see ...each other in life. Vanity, fear, desire, competition-- all such distortions within our own egos-- condition our vision of those in relation to us. Add to those distortions to our own egos the corresponding distortions in the egos of others, and you see how cloudy the glass must become through which we look at each other. That's how it is in all living relationships except when there is that rare case of two people who love intensely enough to burn through all those layers of opacity and see each other's naked hearts.”
― Tennessee Williams

[robin]

Very prevalent in India, as less of exposure and more of expectations especially from a girl child

[petrairene]

They may parentify the child, forcing it into a role reversal where the kid feels it needs to take care of the emotional needs of the parent.

[lunarcryptid]

That's so interesting that you described those relationships because I have DPD, and my current relationship is like the first you mentioned where he does get a bit frustrated that I can't really make my own decisions, but he's overall very supportive. My relationship directly before this one was like the second one you described, where he gaslit me, took advantage of me financially and emotionally, was emotionally and physically abusive, he got me into drugs because he was doing them and I didn't want to say no because I just wanted him to like me and I have a hard time saying no to people because I'm afraid they'll stop liking me. Luckily I'm clean 4 1/2 years now and got away, but it was just eerie hearing you describe my past and current relationships almost perfectly.

[pbecgyx]

I have dependent parents and they shamed and criticised my every move and i turned out to have avoidant personality disorder (i was bullied and rejected a lot by peers and parents)

[ambrosevictoria]

I fell down the hole of mental health.
For me as someone who had a mother who said these types of things to her child I ran as far as I could for as long as i could. I couldn't get far enough. I dont have to run anymore but im still ignoring some things about myself and really trying to grow up.

[bennikk]

I was diagnosed with DPD in my mid 30's. I think my mother has it and passed it on to me. It's an interesting subject. I hope my life will get a bit better from now on that i know i have it.

[isabella_annamarie]

I wonder if those with this disorder, DPD, can also be manipulative in order to keep their dependency on a partner/person?

[SiriusDraconis]

My mother has this. And I have severe BPD. Just heard of these After finding medical paperwork of hers. After 20 years I finally get why I am the way I am. I never understood my own past and why I made the choices I did. I get it now I fed the beast at every step and fell in every trap bpd brings with it. I knew it but was almost helpless to stop myself at the same time.

[odette]

Dr Ramani is amazing with insights into the epidemic of narcissistic behaviour condemning our society and culture today.

[MrsTruthTeller]

Watching this because I’m trying to understand my mother in law. She is obsessed with her husband and it is scary. She complains whenever her husband does anything for himself. He can’t go hang out with his friends, he can’t go to the store alone. Nothing. She calls him selfish for anything that doesn’t involve her and their family and she complains when her son, my husband, does the same. I often tell her that it’s no big deal to me because I want us to have space and our own separate lives. She gets offended by this and accuses us of thinking that we are better than her. She has no life for herself and sits around being bitter that everyone else is enjoying themselves with out her. I would hang out with her more myself if she didn’t spend the entire time complaining about her husband. I never seen someone literally not have anything else to talk about. Her entire life revolves around him and how he’s treating her. Now I understand why she doesn’t have any friends. I think she expected her family to fill that void but they all try to get away from her as quickly as they can. It’s sad but also creepy.

[chatterrrbox]

I just learnt that there's such a thing as "high-conflict" personality. Enlightening!

[xBwahx]

I wonder if she could do a lecture or video on how to become an eloquent speaker like her. Specifically as someone who's suffering from social anxiety.

[kkkkarl]

I LOVE Dr Ramani and will always be here for her discussions - she explains so concisely and always with certainty, professionalism and empathy. I suffer from Bipolar Disorder and although I am being treated (and have been well for a while now) I think it’s so important to learn about all disorders and patterns because learning how to cope no matter the problem, is so important. Yes I have bipolar but ultimately I recognise lots of these different traits in my own person, and recognising = learning to grow and cope. Another fantastic series MedCircle!

[Marzena]

If I only heard this lady some 55 years ago.... I must have been born far too soon even to survive, however I did which I consider a great luck!!!!

[ilovemyboyfriend]

i feel dumb for having Dependent Personality Disorder