Ex-IFB: My Shiny Happy People Story✨Why I left the Independent Fundamental Baptist Church

[colleenhoward]

Your motherly intuition protected your kids. You didn’t let the church tell you how to think. Well done, Amber.

[karenellis]

As someone who went to church with you, I'm glad you took a stand. He made me very nervous and I watched his keen interest in young boys. I still love the years I spent at Lighthouse, I learned so much Bible and made great friends. Like you, I have moved to another state and I'm thankful I found a good church. It's good to see your family is doing so well. 😊

[fredseeley]

I AM SO, SO VERY GLAD THAT YOU LISTENED TO YOUR HEART AND MIND IN SENSING SOMETHING WAS VERY STRANGE AND WRONG ABOUT THIS SITUATION BETWEEN THIS PARTICULAR CHURCH WORKER AND HIS "UNACCEPTABLE" INTERACTION WITH YOUR HUSBAND AND, ABOVE ALL, WITH YOUR YOUNG SONS!!! IT SCREAMED "DANGER", AND YOU CLEARLY UNDERSTOOD THAT AND HELPED YOUR FAMILY MAKE THE SUCCESSFUL MOVE AWAY FROM THAT "DANGER"!!! WE HAVE ALL HEARD STORY AFTER STORY ABOUT INNOCENT PEOPLE BEING DRAGGED UNWILLINGLY INTO UNHEALTHY SITUATIONS BECAUSE OF TROUBLED, SICK PEOLPE ENTICING OTHERS DOWN A PATH OF EVIL -DOING!!! YOUR INTUITION SAVED YOUR FAMILY A LOT OF HEARTACHE TO SAY THE LEAST!!!! GOOD FOR YOU!!!!

[lyndamcdon]

I'm so happy I listened to this. I was apart of the IFBC through their bus ministry in the 90's! I came from a two-parent home though in a fairly nice neighborhood. All the minority kids (me included) really enjoyed that time. We attended vacation bible school in the summers, and went to midweek bible study. I learned a lot about the bible during that time. Unfortunately, the kids in the bus ministry were segregated from the kids who were "fundies". All activities were done separately. There were some great things I still appreciate from my early years. I will say this, we were picked up from our homes and cared for throughout the day by only the white men of the church. I remember all their names and never felt unsafe in their care. As a parent now, I wouldn't send my kids to church solo with people I don't know, even though my experience was great.

[daramichels]

A pastor who allows and welcomes a potential pedophile into church leadership isn't a merciful or kind hearted person. You did the right thing.

[melissaw]

Goodness. I'm just seeing this, and your "standing on the chair" moment really touched me. You knew. You knew before it was as obvious to others. I honestly believe that a mother's intuition is very, very strong. I also believe that comes from God. Mike Zachary. Let's say his name over and over until all people are warned. Good job, mama!

[kathymorris]

I have a much greater respect for you. You sharing your story will hopefully give other people the courage to speak up and see the signs. You rock. God bless ❤

[bevmacmillan]

This was a very compelling story. Sometimes you have to go with your gut. This shows you are self aware.

[heapenn]

Thanks for sharing your story, Amber. The more this is talked about (hopefully) the more will change. And thank you for sharing about your struggle with depression!! Glad your family is doing well <3

[rebekahrutt]

Was in an IFB church from birth to age 30. Things like this STILL go on. A protest just took place last Sunday at First Hammond Baptist. The #letusprey documentary just came out exposing different people and churches in the IFB. Eric with The Preachers Boy podcast has done a good job keeping track of different things that happen in IFB churches.

[pastorlauren]

The church I grew up in was heavily influenced by the IBLP and had associations with Hyles Anderson College. It had such a negative impact on our church (how we dressed, the music we listened to, the books we read, etc.) We weren’t quiverfull but the section on Shiny Happy People about discipline really struck a chord in me. It was like living in a constant state of fear! I always felt like I was one bad outfit away from hell. I’m thankful God brought me out of such an oppressive environment into his loving grace.

[Harperb]

I listened to this whole story and I have chills especially with that story about your pastor. Always listen to your intuition!!!

[MsBrittanyJayne]

As someone who has worked in child abuse and sex crimes for many years, I would like to commend you for trusting your gut instinct. This is so refreshing to hear; a mother who has taken steps to protect her children from harm at the first instance of that butterfly feeling. Also, having seen so many Christian influencers make excuses for abusers or flat out deny it occurs, it is so wonderful to see someone who has kept their faith but doesn't support the poisonous side that any institution can have. ❤

[presleypennartz]

Thank you for speaking about this !!! It’s more hurtful for the church to stay silent about these issues that do not represent Christ and who he is.

[cynthiacondron]

Never be to trusting of others be alone with your children. Thank you for your courage to bring this situation publicly.

[libbyoconnor]

I appreciate the attitude you bring to this. There are so many people who choose to leave a movement but are hateful toward everyone in it (including their parents if they remain). There are problems with abuse and cover ups, specifically within certain IFB circles (the ones you referenced are chief among those). Unfortunately, those problems permeate many organizations, religious or otherwise. Creeps follow kids, and institutions that make them seem more trustworthy (give them credibility, etc.) are particularly favorable to their nefarious purposes. You’re right: the moral of the story is “be careful with your kids.” I think statistics show that most cases abuse are perpetrated by family members or close friends. That alone should tell us that you have to be careful: if you need to be watchful of those closest to you, you need to be watchful of those further from you too. Anyway, I did want to drop in and say that there are many IFB churches that reject the “coverup” culture. In fact, there’s a pastor in Maryland who wrote a book against that “culture.” His name is Stacey Shifflett. I don’t remember the name of the book and I don’t know much about him, but I did want to mention that not all IFB churches are alike (they are independent, after all). We could not stay in a church where the pastor allowed a predator to hold a leadership position once it was brought to his attention: the safety of our children (and others’) is more important. Besides, it’s not biblical.

[mrsbethanyelise]

You are such a sweet soul 🙏 Blind allegiance to any human leader will always get people in trouble sadly. Only God is truly worthy 100% of the time!

[mjoy]

Amber, thank you for your honesty. You have put on the full armor of God and are exercising the belt of truth! You said you almost didn’t share this, or that you might take it down later… thank you for sharing this publicly, because it was just what I needed to hear. After watching Shiny Happy People, I was horrified because my eyes were opened to some of what I grew up with. (I already knew the truth, but the documentary made things very clear that even I am tempted to forget.) When abuse and neglect are covered up by the church it leaves a young and vulnerable person in the worst kind of place. I’m thankful I still have my faith, but sadly still haven’t found a church I feel I belong in as I’ve been hurt by so many over and over (and over, sorry to say). But what you shared brought me some comfort and hope in at least solidarity and that maybe the more people speak up there may be change. Thanks for your courage, Amber.

[marykirkpatrick]

Thank you for sharing. Anything that goes to extremes is always a red flag to me. ❤️

[LisaBailey-sassy]

Thank you for your truthful story. I know that was hard for you. But I am proud of you for speaking out.