10 Rules For Surviving Life With A Narcissist

Because narcissists operate with their own manipulative agenda, you cannot afford to relate with them as you would with reasonable people. Many are unable to go "no contact" with these individuals, which means the next best strategy is to learn how to maneuver around their dysfunctions. Psychotherapist Dr. Les Carter outlines 10 adjustments you can make so you can maintain civility even as they do not.

Dr. Les Carter is a best selling author and therapist who lives in Dallas, Tx. In the past 40 years he has conducted over 60,000 counseling sessions and many workshops and seminars. He specializes in anger management and narcissistic personality disorder.

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[undergroundwes]

They are masters at being two totally different people in public as opposed to behind closed doors. Jekyll and Hyde syndrome at it's finest.

[kerrieelliott]

I’ve been a Psychiatric Nurse in Canada for 30yrs & I can honestly say Dr Carter provides Sound & Insightful techniques to help manage your interactions with these difficult people, while respecting both them & Yourself. Thank You Dr Carter. Well done. ❤️

[jimmahaffey]

Just remember they will have a constant battle to devalue you and break your spirit. Don't take them serious

[drb]

Never tell them anything personal, they will twist it and throw it in your face and use it against you, when they're angry!

[debraybarra]

I’ve lived with my husband for 13 years, married 10 and I never knew the term narcissist until now. His abuse is almost daily and if it weren’t for Dr Les Carter I don’t know where I’d be. I used to watch Alfred Hitchcock’s movie Gaslight because I could relate to how Ingrid Bergman was ‘gaslighted’. So sad that I had no tools until now. I can’t see a way out yet but I find clarity in each instance because of Dr Carter, which is comforting for me.

[MarlanWarren]

They don't see a relationship. They see a transaction. Thank you for helping me put my finger on it!

[claireluckensmeyer]

Immature bully & transactional...describes my marital relationship. I feel like I'm living with a petulant child who acts out in ways designed to force me to engage with him. I spend so much energy trying to "handle" him & demonstrate to my kids what healthy looks like so neither of them becomes the miserable person he is...because he has a gaping hole inside that no one or thing can fill.

[funkymunky]

A steady, awakened mind is the best safeguard against immature bullies.

[lisagavin]

"Immature Bully" is the perfect way to describe someone with NPD. Why are we so stupid to try to have a relationship with them?

[salliegallegos]

1. Don’t ascribe normalcy to them 2. Stay neutral to self-revelations 3. Drop any presumption regarding their loyalty 4. Drop the expectation that they will uphold their end in relationships/You are a transaction 5. Refuse to become involved in power plays / They have to be dominant 6. Never try to justify yourself 7. Make room psychologically for their jerk behavior 8. Don’t plead for or expect an apology / They are consummate takers 9. Try not to take their behavior personally 10. Plan in advance how you will manage yourself in their presence

[mf]

One thing (of so many ) is my Narc is so amazingly kind, thoughtful & respectful to others . He is well thought of by everyone he interacts with . So “I” am THE ONE that he mistreats, disrespects, etc

[funlovinbloke]

I have only one rule: cut off al your contacts / disconnect with such a person, don't look back and move on, start living (again). We all deserve so much better. Good luck to you all in your journey.

[barbarahunter]

I love the analogy that an alligator will never be a bunny rabbit! Thanks so much Dr C.

[jamee_maree]

Sick and tired of falling for the fake apologies, and allowing myself to fall for the manipulation for so long. Makes me feel like I AM the problem when I know it’s not me - it’s their behavior and mindset

[Gigi-zz]

I advise everyone to listen to this one more than one time to absorb all of Dr. C’s precise information! Well done, Dr. C!

[nelumbonucifera]

I’ve lived all my life with Narcs. For 52 years. I barely survived. I was so disconnected from my true self, it’s unbelievable. Now that I’m beginning to understand Narcissism, there’s no way I’m going to put myself through any of that madness again. No more Narcs for me. I have gone No Contact with all the energy vampires who were zapping my life force and am finally able to heal and look forward to a fulfilling and meaningful life😊. Peace and strength to everyone!

[wisconsinfarmer]

Rule number one: plan your escape without blowing your cover.

[countingthecosttofollowChrist]

"You are a transaction", not in a relationship. "They have to stay on top", power plays. Dont rationalize with them. Expect them to be a jerk....spot on.

[TheNikki]

Dr. Carter, THANK YOU for recognizing that some of us are stuck in our situations with these awful people and *can't* just leave. In my own case, my health is too poor to work full time and I have mountains of student loans. Unfortunately, the stress of living with her is making me sicker by the day. (My money's on Adrenal Fatigue). Moving out is a pipe dream for me, so I need to know how to deal with my CN sister right now, until that glorious day when I can pack up and leave. Too many well-meaning people, even some professionals, say "The only way is to leave and cut them out. Go no contact." As if it's that easy. Thanks for understanding this gray area of reality. I'll be tuning in for sure.

[vj]

So basically don't engage and put too much effort into that person. It's definitely hard not to let them get to you. They definitely know what buttons to push and are looking for a reaction. Sometimes I can refrain from reacting and other times I can't. I don't like who I am around them. I'm not like this around other people. I can have normal conversations and not feel like I'm competing with someone to be heard. It also drives me crazy how they have to be right all of the time. Even if you have experienced something, they still know better. Makes you want to scream.