The one person you should date

connect

starring -
Melissa Macedo
Michelle Macedo

shot by John Lee

grip - Melissa Gasca

sound - Jason Mobley

edited by Timothy Hautekiet

gfx by Bethany Radloff

[shimmerisle]

Not everyone can afford therapy, but being with someone focused on personal growth through self reflection is so important. There are also many mediocre therapists out there

[Chadblock]

This just made me even more positive that I'm with the person I want. She's really smart and we both agree on boundaries in the relationship.

[mloaf]

One big thing I learned from my last relationship (which was fraught with conflict, on and off situationship, etc) is that someone who doesn’t take care of themselves (physically or emotionally) most likely won’t be able to take care of their relationships in a authentic or healthy way as well.

[ribby]

Someone doesn’t need to be in actual therapy to be committed to working on themselves and being a better person. This can look like so many different things. Therapy is expensive AF and insurance if you even have it is so iffy. my partner and I can’t afford it right now but we are definitely committed to becoming better people and we look at ourselves critically every single day.

[ForButAgainst]

"It's not unreasonable to want that in someone else" - thank you for this! I am in therapy (over 2 yrs) and I was in a relationship with someone who didn't want to grow in any way and I accused myself of wanting "too much" or having too high expectations. Now I know it wasn't too much to ask. I needed that validation ❤

[TowerJunkie]

I can vouch for it! My partner is committed to always be open minded about how he can bring his best to our relationship. I am as well. We each keep our individual wellbeing at #1 so we can make a stronger pair as individuals. We both had very codependent relationships in the past and were unaware of how toxic it all was. I feel the most free and at the same time the most secure within this relationship. Feeling safe for the first time at 46 was revolutionary for me… I had not been made to feel safe until then.
Your insights and flawless wit are so spot on Anna! Thank you for sharing yourself with us!

[alancheng]

I think being with someone who's self aware and is open-minded to changing is super important.

[amara]

A growth mindset is so important. A potential partner once told me they didn't care for self development. You are so right this person kept complaining about things that were in their power to change. This person also seemed to looove arguing. Glad that didn't lead to an actual relationship. Bullet dodged.

[priyankadeyray]

The only one I would date who has self awareness, who has growth mindset, who wants to understand his triggers, who is immensely empathetic

[talideon]

The one thing to keep in mind is that we shouldn't necessarily focus on finding somebody who's at the end of that journey, but somebody who's making active steps along it. None of us are perfect, and the best we can hope for is people who are trying to be better, because we can at best expect that of others for ourselves.

[DaedNevar]

i appreciate the self reflection these videos grant/impose onto me. i know ill never be READY ready for a relationship, but they help me realize im not ready to jump into one. im not happy with the current state of myself and how id be presenting that to someone else, im not someone id want right now, but i will be. in time.

[psylentknight]

This is more proof that I've been on a better path of self-discovery than I've ever been. My person and I have grown closer because we're on the same emotional growth paths, and it's been the best romantic connection we've ever had.

[michaelfedora]

I like how she's said "speaking kindly to themselves and others MOST OF THE TIME" I see what you did there Anna ;)

[sealwhiskers]

Love this phrase self-commitment. My biggest reason for looking for that is because it means the other person also understands that it's not my responsibility nor do I owe it to them to clean up their side of the street. The biggest thing that I find comes out of that is respect for other people, to both not demand they clean someone else's street, and leaving them to do to their own street what they want.

[Alex-fim]

love your focus on whether a guy commits to themselves and has a growth mindset. i sometimes pay attention too much to just how a guy makes me feel. you made me realize i should also focus on how they help themselves grow and how we can help each other do that.

[laviniasnow]

“Daddy Squarespace” is the only expression in which I accept “daddy” used with that certain meaning. 😅

[jenniferbates]

Please understand that our mental, physical, emotional and sexual health are ALL connected.
Relationships with other humans are beautiful, but the only Relationship that is the most important is with yourself. "Successful" relationships aren't time based, because quality doesn't equal quantity.
Relationships are about growth as individuals, then together. It's ok for Relationships to end as well. Every human grows and mature differently.

A couple of great books to read or listen to:

"The Body Keeps The Score"
By. Dr. Bessel Van Der Kolk.

" Controlling People"
Dr. Patricia Evans.

[deburke]

I love your perspective on things I feel like I’ve learned a lot watching your videos, keep killing it Anna 💕

[grayisgone]

i like how these videos are weirdly specific to whatever dilemma i’m in at that exact moment in time

[alicialloyd]

Triggered by all the points of someone that doesn't self commit because I absolutely knew that person and I couldn't continue to be around them anymore. It's nice to have a name for it