Don't Let Academia Break You

Academia is full of broken people. This is no different than any other segment of society. We’re all trying to compensate for some thing that happened to us  in the past.

I understand that you cannot fix those broken people. But you could be more cautious in the future, and set up stability in your life such that those broken people don’t overtake who you are. 

[lubnasaira]

I agree with you, that for a truly meaningful relationship, it has to be non-transactional, not rationally calculated. That is called 'Ikhlaas' in Islamic thought. When you do something not to get anything in return but for the sake of the other simply with authenticity and sincerity. Thank you for opening up your journey to all of us. It is a difficult thing to do. Yes, we all are a bunch of broken people, but there is a rich gradient, and there are good people who have found their inner peace. We have it in us innately to strive for completeness and to seek. My understanding is these are God's principles at work so we may seek perfection, truth, and beauty, which in their absolute sense is the Divine. So yes, in a very deep sense, we are incomplete and broken.
Well said! "Try not to take out your brokenness onto other people." Again, thank you for your reciprocity project! God bless your journey!

[nothinggmuch]

About people acting by their past, you are absolutely right, in academic terms its called compensations of the personality, due to of course childhood trauma. Definition of trauma has
loosen as psychology progressed and now its more or less defined supression of the authentic self resulting in adoption unconsicous habits for short term survival which of course are problematic as time goes on, because attachment is the primary need of all. So of course in your case, to not be lonely your mind habitually adopted the notion of wanting to be liked to ensure survival (in the evolutionary terms). I would also add that it relates to our individualistic model of society due to capitalism and everyone trying to fill that inner void by external personal succes.

[idahoviking]

Define transactional and non-transactional with clear-cut examples. Then identify and discuss examples that live in the gray area in between.