How to respond to delusions in dementia

Welcome to the place where I share dementia tips, strategies, and information for family members caring for a loved one with any type of dementia (such as Alzheimer's disease, Lewy Body dementia, vascular dementia, frontotemporal dementia, etc.)

Here is my answer to my most frequently asked question. In less than 3 minutes, I help explain How to respond to delusions in dementia.
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In case you haven’t met me, my name is Natali Edmonds and I am a board certified geropsychologist. That means that I am a clinical psychologist who specializes in working with older adults. One day, while hiking a trail, I came up with the idea for Careblazers and I decided to see if posting videos online could provide help to the many other Careblazers in the world who don’t get to have help come directly to them in their homes. I hope that this work helps you in some way on your caregiving journey.
#careblazer #dementia #dementiacare

[clipperbob]

I wanted to share something that I did that I think others would benefit from. My mother was living alone for a period of time with her disease. I contacted the police/fire department and let them know her name, address, condition and added myself as her emergency contact. I also put a key lock box there and provided them with the code. I cant tell you how many times she called the police during her hallucination periods even though I told her to call me first. As things got worse she could no longer figure out how to unlock the door for them and they had to use the lock box key to enter the home. They were so companionate, patient and caring with her. I would get a call each time from the officers letting me know what happened and that she was ok. They never once complained about them having to go there to help ease her mind. As I would apologize about the situation they would tell me that there was no need to and that is what they signed up to do. They enjoyed helping people like my mother. Most in my moms journey did not deal with her (or me) with any compassion, concern or humanity. The police, fire department, and EMS people represent one of the few positive things I can discuss with about her situation during her decline.

[onthehill]

If my mom told me someone was after her and I told her the cops found and put him in jail she wouldn’t believe me. Sometimes it’s not that simple. Her delusions are stubborn. She would still think someone is after her and then continue to argue. Also, if it involves a fear like someone is trying to kick her out of her home and I try to comfort her, it makes it worse. She will sense that and just start crying and fussing more. This is how it goes with her delusions. When she starts up with a delusion, I immediately make up an “emergency” excuse like, “oh my gosh I have something boiling on the stove I have to check” or “hold on, my Dr is going to call me and I have to answer or he will bill me” or “I have to use the restroom”, etc. Then I walk away for a few minutes. I decided to never engage in her delusions. It’s futile and will wear on you to no return.

[ellesunshine]

I'm in bits ..heart broken this isn't my mum any more, I hate dementia for taking away my best friend...I can't cope with this...don't know what to do besides watching your channel 💔❤

[brandyhuffman]

I am CNA, and I know ive learned to throughout the years, to agree no matter what, i also get involved on there level, and i never argue, tone of voice is huge to and eye contact.

[umaganesan]

My mom suddenly sprang up from her chair n demanded a decision about selling her house. My aunt instantly said, your son agreed to do whatever you decide or wish to ". Instantly she calmed down. Thanks dr. Love your tips .

[sheranlanger]

"The boss called, you're doing such a great job you can take the day off?".... EXCELLENT! 👍🏾😃

[emnesia]

This is such good advice, I get frustrated with my mum because I know she’s delusional and want her to snap out of it. Every time I tell her she’s wrong, but that approach never ends well. I will try to play along next time but that’s going to be so difficult. 😔

[wilbureastern]

Thank you for your great work! i'm so happy for discovering this channel!

I just wanted to add that a hug, holding hands, aromatherapy, a snack, shifting attention towards things involving other areas of the brain are calming beyond words.

Keep up the good work!

[alisoncaudery]

your spot on everything my mum thinks my dad is still alive and wants to go and find him in there old house its so sad it breaks my heart. this is the best youtube channel I have seen on dementia thank you

[reginac]

Thank you for your response regarding the disappearance of my Sister. She finally returned home and promises never to leave that way again. Though she has lost several cell phones, I purchased her a Trac phone and minutes and she was very pleased. I have spoken to so many Doctors and other experts and have learned more from your videos than from any other source. Thanks again and never stop posting - you are helping so many Careblazers!

[sarahstrong]

So its a bit like when a toddler wakes up with a nightmare, screaming that there is a crocodile in the room. Which they apparently can see. Don't bother telling them that they are wrong. It is much more effective to open the window, do a little mime & say 'there I've thrown that crocodile out & the zoo people will come & collect it directly' & firmly shut the window.

[elizabethlee]

Thank you for your video. It really is very helpful. It hasn’t been easy. It has been very difficult at times and I have lost it a few times and thought I was going crazy myself. Thank you

[ladylilo]

New subscriber here. My mom was recently diagnosed with dementia, your channel has been such a blessing to my siblings and I. I thank you from the bottom of my heart❤️ sure wish there was a cure for this awful and sorrowful disease!

[marinaquinones]

Thank you for this. My loved one is convinced a girl is sun bathing in her backyard naked and disrupting the peace and that the neighbor is flooding her front yard with water. 😫 these were all great tips! I’ll have to definitely be creative on how to find a solution to her problem. The thing is, she only tells me about these delusions when I’m not there.

[barrycrook]

Our first event and being included with a running movie on the Tv was a shock.
This involved with my wife talking to the actors and explaining that she could help out if only they would listen to her, and to take her advice.
Having got over that hurdle partially by freezing the frames, (which didnt seem to be a problem for my wife) I found that the wife had set the table for an extra six people, (all plates, knives and forks, water, place mats), and when I was allowed to be in the conversation, to be told that she had invited them all over for a meal.
so back to learninmg how to cope again!... I yearn for the days when instant communication in a linear form was the norm. I just havent learnt to be that flexible yet! Being a realist, you just have to accept the fact that it's never going to be like it was for the last 50 yhears.

[reva]

Great information. Comfort the emotion behind the delusion, find a solution, and redirect. I love that!

[sandyd]

my husband has Lewy body dementia and I go thru this a lot. I am his primary caregiver. His delusions are that he needs to go home, even though he is home. Another one is that I"m keeping him hostage and tied up. This one is a doozy for I don't know what to do. This could last for at least 3/4 hours. It is exhausting. Last night we were in a car with his nephew and then nephew was driving too fast. With this one I played along and told the nephew to slow down. LOL

[MsPseudonymous]

What about delusions that stem from past trauma? Ex: woman with dementia in a care facility reporting she is being raped every night by a caregiver - it is not actually happening, it’s from past trauma in her younger years. Add to that that because it’s not actually happening “no one believes me.”
Or
Man who believes someone- could be anyone standing in front of him- kidnapped his niece and he’s desperate to get her back.

What about the delusions based in very real past trauma? How do we help them cope?

[allannicholls]

This video was so helpful and explained what is happening to a friend.
Thank you .
Allan Nicholls

[balboabrick]

Dang I'm so happy I found you! I've been doing everything wrong.