6 Rules for a First Date - Over 50

Need some basic guidelines or rules to help guide you on a first date? If you're new to dating and over 50 this episode was made for you. Not that these rules don't apply to most daters but if you're back on the dating scene after a hiatus this refresher should be pretty helpful. I hope these dating tips inspire you to leave some of your own in my comment section!
#coffeewithcarey # dating #over50

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[biondna]

I agree with all these rules. I'd only add that I don't meet anyone in bars as I'm over 20 years sober and much prefer my life now. And the 30-day rule? Absolutely, especially for the many of us with childhood traumas including neglect, various forms of abuse, drug addiction, etc. Fast sex usually leaves us bonding too fast, or running away too fast.

[robinblankenship]

Two hour date limit is good idea. That way, with proper timing, there’s still time to catch the fourth quarter.

[Jim-usgj]

Just a suggestion ... for the women. I went on a first date yesterday, lunch with a very nice lady. However, this went just like most of my previous first dates ... I had to carry the conversation from start to finish. Fortunately, I'm innately curious so asking a variety of open-ended questions comes pretty easily. Some serious, some funny, anything but the "interview" mode. It always seems to be that way. I get it. Women need to be careful and discreet. But damn, ladies, I know you're looking for that magical "chemistry" ... but does it always have to be the guy to be the alchemist and apothecary?

[Banthah]

If a woman said to me that I need to call her for a second date because she doesn’t reply to texts, and that she doesn’t want to leave the house before 10am so when I plan our second date it must be lunch or dinner…. there would be no second date.
Don’t be imposing rules on a 50+ year old man after one date, believe me he will not take well to that

[annetcell-ly]

No sex for thirty days and the guy says, “Great, I’ll call you in thirty days.”

[x-man]

If I have recently just met a woman, I don't ask for an evening date. I prefer a lunch date. FOR THEM. Meeting a strange man is henke enough for many mature women, I prefer to make it easier for them to say yes, daytime to ease the anxiety some and offer to meet them there, rather than insist on picking them up (I do offer though). I don't drink but don't mind if she drinks responsibly, so I choose a place that serves for lunch. I try to set the date for 1pm so if she wants a drink (before or after), it's not a problem. Your admonition to be judicious in your drinking is spot on.
I think 2 hours is about right. Leaving the date when it's going well is much preferred. I like the sitting next to each other vs opposed also. Specifically to establish modest "touch" sometime during the date. If the 1st date goes well, I want to hold her hand on the way out. Braking the touch barrier before hand, makes it feel more natural.
Men are cautioned to listen more than talk also. I think what you really should do is work toward an engaging conversation and not keep close track, but do a mental check occasionally to make sure you aren't dominating the conversation. If I'm filtering, I need her to talk. It's always error for man or woman to "ramble on" on a 1st date. (see alcohol admonition).
I avoid interview questions and just start a conversation. Generating a smile or chuckle occasionally during the interchange helps take away the anxiety also.

[deborahdawn]

Yep, 30 days minimum. I've learned that things that feel too familiar and move too fast are a warning sign. Mama said, You can't hurry love.

[wildernesswordsmith]

Great suggestions and thoughts. Thank you, W.

[Hodenkat]

Thank you for making a thoughtful video on dating. If I'm lucky enough to find a date, the advice in this video will be of great value.

[angelinahunter]

I thought these tips were excellent, especially about sitting adjacent to a date instead of across the table -- makes a big difference as to whether you can casually touch their hand when making a point in conversation.

[belleofthecamp]

In my early 40s. I found this very helpful, clear and common sense.
I tend to spend most the first date or two trying to listen more. In the past I have over shared and gotten too emotionally invested too soon. Now I intentionally pay more attention to reading btwn the lines and whether they ask me questions about myself or seem very curious about me (big tell if they are emotionally available). I do try to be playful and keep it light though. But no physical contact (except maybe touching on the arm, hug) on first date or so. My focus is whether this person is compatibility and do I actually like them as a person, a friend. Definitely no sex as long as possible, ideally a couple months, and not until we are exclusively committed, there’s a strong level of trust. On occasion that’s been slightly challenging if there’s a lot of chemistry;) but inevitably I tend to be drawn to brooding types so I make sure to exercise self control ❤ equals self respect and better opportunities for the real deal.

[donnahampton]

I try to always sit at a 90 degree angle on a date. It's perfect!

[CoffeewithCarey]

Did you catch this episode from earlier this week?

[spider]

Big help thanks, this Friday is first date in 50 years, if question pops up and it easily could I'm just getting back in the dating pool- testing the waters will sound a whole lot better than I haven't dated since high school

[timp]

I never thought about the seating thing. Great idea!

[marymartindale]

I agree with these rules. Thank you for your video.

[SuperDflower]

She mistakenly said two drink minimum when she should’ve said two drink maximum

[dianebarr]

Ive been told im not s full fledged adult when i said i didnt want to get intimate. He was very critical and tried to belittle my standards

[glennmorrell]

Rule #1: DONT DO IT…stay home and find something else to do. Being alone is OK, you’ll probably be better off.

[ralfj.]

Thanks for your advice Carey! I'm in my 40s and will date a woman in her mid 50s next week, so I thought why not watch some of your videos ;) Hope my date goes well, we had good chemistry over the phone.