Barstool Pizza Review - Napoli's Pizzeria (Malta, NY)

Dave is doing another Saratoga pizza trip, and accepts the dangerous offer of a haircut from the barbershop next door.




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[jasonfritz]

"By football pizza, I mean clangin' and bangin'."

Oh, thanks. That clears it all up.

[jackgostfrand]

dave never knows what town he is in, everyone knows the rules

[rugger]

That is pretty cool that Dave got a haircut in a random upstate NY town that he didn’t even know the name of. A completely random place could totally scalp you haha. Let’s see what he looks like on the next one.

[timetravelingoldman]

He's dressed up like he's gonna get pegged after his dinner date

[finanzasenfamilia]

Dave gonna look like *Caillou* tomorrow

[johnnyhottub]

Dave looking like mom just took him to J.C. Penny for new school clothes circa 1987.

[TheSpaniard]

One nice little "edge up, " everybody knows what he's actually offering

[ThatTattooGuyOfficial]

Pres is like an old man with dementia at the beginning of every review... “WHERE ARE WE?!”

[SecondStreetMustang]

Can’t wait to see what his haircut looks like tomorrow 😆

[aquifer]

A guy with no hair getting a haircut everybody knows the rules

[ericbledsoe]

“Any diamonds made chicken she’s your girl” Dave Portnoy 2021

[nightmaredip]

One bite I have no idea where I am. Everyone knows the rules

[deanalbertson]

Dave: "Can you see the chicken?"
For a second I wasn't sure where Dave was going with that.

[LordZnake]

Prez looks like a character straight out of Sopranos, and the tan is popping like never before.

[andypaul]

Forgets where he is every 12 seconds, nobody knows the rules anymore

[dmcdmc]

lmao made the guy wait for a cut, classic

[Thebrothaisback]

He knows a football pizza is not good. He does not really want to explain what he means by it, but i think a better quality domino's seems to be what means.

[frankenelimtangco]

One bite, everybody knows that's 90's polo shirt.

[jacknife]

That first bite sounded like a 7.9 crunch

[AnonYmous-ryjn]

That was really a solid 7.9, probably an 8.1 or 8.2. I could tell by looking at the cheese they go for a varied texture. Those amazing BUBBLES that Dave always says he likes. I almost never see them on pizza anymore, you only seem to get them in exactly optimal baking conditions (heat/timing); these were massive, spread throughout the pie. My point is not to yammer on about all these details, but this was obviously very far from your run-of-the-mill “football pizza”; they obviously were going for something very specific that they mastered. All those effects/details (including what Dave calls “light but heavy”) don’t come by accident, & Dave, especially because these are the kinds of things he always says he loves (esp bubbles), could have acknowledged how perfectly they nailed this style of pizza. He basically gave 7.5 as a cop out. If 7.0 & 8.0 are “rookie scores”, for Dave, a hedging right-down-the-middle “7.5” is a cop-out score. He didn’t want to be bothered or stick his neck out with an obvious case of a more subtly exceptional pizza, & just rated it in the higher end of run-of-the-mill.