The Strengths and Struggles of a Highly Sensitive Person

Highly Sensitive Person (HSP) is a term first coined in the 1990's by Psychologist Elaine Aron to describe people who experience increased sensitivity to social, emotional and physical stimuli.

Some of the common characteristics include being highly empathetic, compassionate, and feeling things more deeply than others. Sometimes negatively described by others as being 'too sensitive', in this video Darren Magee discusses some of the strengths and struggles of of being a highly sensitive person, from excessive rumination to creativity and resourcefulness.

If you find this video interesting please consider supporting me on Patreon or Substack

#highlysensitive #HSP #sensitivepeople

[jcsrst]

As an HSP I found your description accurate. I was taught as a child that there was something wrong with me by a narcissistic parent and as a result spent most of my life denying who I was and trying to be somebody else. Always being told your "too" sensitive isn't good. I now know who I am and love myself for it! I see things no one around me sees or hears. Sometimes this is wonderful and sometimes not. I feel I have a super power 😊

[tmyoshimura]

Listening to this feels like a sigh of relief

[julienunnally]

I remember being told I was too sensitive. I just "felt" things more than others. I also think that a lot of HSP's are also Empaths.

[emmachampion]

Internalising everything every day :( Wiping away a tear to say thank you, this one hit hard.

[sirkennymchiphop]

Def relate to all of this. As a man, I find there to be a particular “struggle”, if you will, with being an HSP as men are stigmatized to be less sensitive in general to start. Add an extra layer of sensitivity, and a male HSP can be deemed to have no back bone.

Whenever I do speak up or call others out on hurtful things they’ve said or done to me, i’m perhaps overly communicative and perhaps a bit tactless though my words are always thought out. Then, the offending party becomes offended, and I usually end up apologizing for being straightforward with my approach because i perhaps have been too harsh, or too brutally honest. I absolutely overthink things, however, I still wish people were more sensitive, but the truth is if I wish others were more sensitive, I have to be more sensitive first; ya know, be the change you want to see in the world kinda deal.

[maidmarion]

It is strange to hear that you are highly sensitive when to you this is ‘normal’.. I always wondered why I was different and that others did not react in the way I did. Thank you for this information, it has helped so much

[theraptureisnearbelieveinj]

Narcs are sensitive to their own needs, as opposed to HSP’s being sensitive to the needs of others. It’s like the Lord put an extra computer chip in our nervous systems. :)

[One-Goth]

This is me 100%. I lay in bed every night, ruminating over conversations and how I could have better dealt with the situation. I can't watch programmes where, for example, lions catch a deer. I have to look away from the TV for the donkey sanctuary ads. I can easily imagine something bad happening to a family member or friend and end up crying because of it. And yes, change is very hard for me to deal with!
On the plus, I am a creative person, I understand people's emotional problems, am able to read a room as well as people's faces and micro expressions.
It is very overwhelming.
I can even hear the sound the wind turbine makes about 2km away from me. It keeps me awake.

[deirdreday]

I am highly Sensitive. I am like the Princess and the Pea. I can get other people’s vibes so easily. I am a people pleaser and hate to say No to anyone. I go over lots of why I might be so Sensitive and yes I am my own worst enemy. I procrastinate and I feel and hear and sense everything around me. I am sentimental, hard working conscientious, things build up in me and then I blow then am ashamed I did so. I am a Empath and am creative loving caring romantic and cherish those I love. I am a problem solver I am approachable and when I get in a bus I have at least one person’s life story on disembarking. I believe it us a gift from God and was happy to help people. I worked in the caring profession with people with Physical Disability and Learning difficulties. I loved my work. It all ended when I married a Covert/ Malignant Narcissist though. My innocence and my world of caring and all that I was feeling through almost 50yrs of marriage with him was shattered and I was in Survival most of those years. The x used and abused me I reared my Five children they were my treasures. I will NEVER UNDERSTAND TO THE DAY I die how one human being can do this to another in cold blood. In my case no drugs or Alcohol were the cause although there were other lewd things going on. He blatantly flaunted supply in front of me and give me a life if hell on earth. I try now not to think too much but why should I change. I am sensitive or oversensitive but I can honestly say my intuition is first class and only for it there could have been some worse disasters in my life. I can almost tell immediately I meet someone if they are good or bad people. The Narcissist however is a different thing altogether. No one can ever tell they are so devious and secretive. Another great podcast! Thank you.

[taraann]

You just described me..I’ve have every feeling you mentioned..these feelings have crippled me my whole life..I have never heard anyone even mention this before..I was just scrolling around for something to watch and found this video..I feel relieved.. I have just subscribed.

[evansbowen]

I’m a HSP and it is a perspective and different wiring —not an illness. I was just telling a friend this morning that as a teenager I never liked popular music because it was too much for me— too harsh. I always preferred the beauty of classical music. It is soothing to me—other music is too hard on my nerves. Also violence is painful to watch and it feels like the violence is being done to me. I’ve learned to protect myself from these harsh experiences.

[henryneild]

I think you meant at the end, Darren, that sensitive people can give too much. Givers always attract takers. And you can end up drained. As someone once said to me, 'there are only two sorts of people: radiators & drains.'

[hissyfitz]

Am definitely a HSP who unfortunately grew up in a narcissistic family. Even as a child I recognized their insecurities and felt a need to help them. ALL immediate family members labeled me as ‘different’ from the rest & wanted to be ‘my favorite’ which got old very quickly. I stopped the people pleasing simply due to loss of energy & realization that I was trying to ‘buy’ their favor. A psychologist ‘friend’ R.I.P. labeled me as a ‘sponge’ 🧽 regarding absorbing emotions. 🤦🏻‍♀️ Boundaries definitely help but the empathy I feel for toxic people can still get in my way. A loner & hermit lifestyle has been restorative. My spouse’s infallible logic has tempered the emotional sensitivity in me & vice versa. I try to look at things with logical discernment & ‘get it’ on an intellectual level but… there’s ALWAYS a ‘but’…

Thanks for BOTH SIDES of the story. 🙏🏻

[erintucker]

It’s frustrating to be told being an HSP is mental illness, by people that have never even heard of HSP. BUT It surely felt good to finally learn how to say no to some people!

[yun]

Thank you for highlighting this valuable personality trait that can often be understood as a weakness by others and, particularly and painfully, by oneself. Hope you can follow up with more insights on this topic in the future, for example how to protect against manipulators and takers, and how to better forgive oneself and move on from hurt. But frankly just by shedding light on its strengths you've already made us feel seen, and those weaknesses are the areas that can surely be worked on. So thank you very much.

[genevievegutierrez]

This is one of the most explicit and objective explanations I have heard about a HSP. It made me feel so well.
Thank you so much.

[natasavarmuza]

Thank you! This is so me! Over-analyzing interactions, worried about havinf offended others based on the verbal and non-verbal reactions, being able to read others so I can tailor how I interact with them...seeing the big picture and calculating scenario outcomes. It's stressful when you get bombarded by too much "information" from too many sources all at once. This video too, explains why animals and small children end up glued to me😅.
Seriously, though, this video helps me understand why I have been diagnosed with severe anxiety.

[imnoel]

Thank you so much for this video, I'm saving it to watch again many times. It is so good to hear about the positive characteristics of HSPs, I've rarely encountered this outside of Susan Cain's "Quiet" book about introverts. A lifetime of contempt and criticism has been heaped on me for my lack of confidence, coming from the same people who seek to undermine that confidence. I can see now how narcissists are drawn to HSPs because they envy their strengths, while at the same time they want to destroy them. As a highly sensitive person, learning about narcissism and how to set boundaries has saved my life.

[truthteller]

I think I just by being in presence of different energies. I just tear/cry even moves, shows never knew why. I stay alone cause I pick up energies strongly. I Was raised by narcisstic family had to break free from. Thank you 🙏🙏🙏

[Ka-lyoi]

Thank you, this made me feel better in this rude and noisy world that is lacking empathy...