New Teacher Script for Standardized Testing (2021 Parody)

[juliemark]

I have a virtual student who literally is in the backseat of the car running errands with her parents every single day.

[faemomofdragons]

We were told not to stray from reading the directions, not to add words, not to use an accent, not to use funny voices. Apparently one of the questions was did your teacher read the directions clearly and professionally. I teach high school; I felt called out.

[ccasazza]

My daughter is in Kindergarten. She has been in e-learning since day 1. Now she needs to go to the actual school to take a year end test. How could that possibly evaluate her performance? She’s going to be so nervous/jacked up she’s not going to do as well as she’s able. Also, how serious could it possibly be for K that they need to report to the school?!

[cdrolshagen]

I developed an eye tick while reading the instructions to my class. 😜

[elizabethschmidt]

Because of hybrid, I had to read the exact same script 16 times. 16. OMG. I will admit, by the 10th time, I would read the instructions not dissimilar to this video.

[lefthandedg]

At my school, standard testing has the abbreviation CRAAP testing. It stands for Currency Relevance Authority Accuracy Purpose test and and is for History. Everyone calls it crap testing...even the teachers.

[LinierterBlock]

Now I understand standardized testing. Since I am not a part of the us-american school system, and too lazy for googling, your vids actually helped a lot. It´s like the PISA Testing, but worse

[kcfronk]

Literally have a student in Florida right now. He's missing two weeks of school.

[ramonazamora]

In quarantine until 5/10/2021, and I am giving these mandated tests online. It has been a total joke all school year. Half of my class has to schedule make-up exams because they didn't bother to show, even though I told them it would be their final grade for the school year. Not surprised, when I didn't see many of my students the whole year. These poor kids are going to be at least one year behind, or more. I understand the parents were busy, and I am sure they were stressed out like we all were, but to not make sure your child is logged in and doing their school work?? I am very proud of the students who showed up 90% of the time, participated, and learned so many tech skills that will help them in their futures. These students will be light years ahead of the others, since I am pretty sure this tech stuff is not disappearing from classrooms! It is sad that I will not have the time to re-teach these children who fell drastically behind, next year. SMH

[ImNotCreativeEnoughToMakeUser]

My testing dates for this year are two weeks ago, today, and a week from today

[jennajeffries]

I'm so glad I've graduated and that I'm not a teacher. I'm not exactly sure what I'm doing here

[sharonwilson]

I’m in 8th grade and I have been homeschooled all my life, I barely know how to use a calculator but I used an abacus in math for years.

[josephparisi]

This guy is the best. Keep cranking out content, you will go viral!

[Haileyb]

The number of times I said how long the test would be in that script made me want to die. By the fifth time I read “you will have 80 minutes to compete this test and we will take a short stretch break after 40 minutes, ” my students were like OKAY WE GET IT ALREADY

[dorismidge]

This was funny! Luckily I don’t have to give these tests (kindergarten teacher), but I think Devin may have unintentionally invalidated the validity and integrity of these secure tests by revealing how asinine this assessment is, no matter the state.

😏😉I just wanted to toss around some big words.

In all seriousness though, you talk about useless tests… Our district has us give a test when the kindergarten students first come into class, we have 27 days to complete it… And there are 54 indicators that we must test on, 90% interview style! We have to test on fine motor skills, gross motor skills, letter knowledge, sound knowledge, number recognition, rote counting… etc And then we turn this data in to a company that we never hear from again. Nobody knows what they use the data for…

Our boss, who has now been with the district for 3 years, who reminds us every August to administer this assessment, asked us for the 1st time this year why we give this assessment. Our answer? “Because we were told to?”. 🤷🏻‍♀️

Sometimes, truth is stranger than fiction.

[Heaven]

Ha like they'd actually let u take this test at home😂😂

[angelabailey]

You think that's bad, I've been proctoring since the 22 of April and will continue until the 20th of May🤦🏾‍♀️

[EH]

We’re starting standardised testing here in Australia this week! Timing! 😆👍🏻

[ChrisJones-insv]

I still can't get over that students are allowed to use a calculator for math tests. The SHOULD be able to use an abi...abak...abu... their fingers and toes though!

[granteaton]

All scary and all true. Mom worked in school administration office and two siblings taught social studies and history. Dinner conversations were a total panic!