I'M FAILING AT ADULTING | FEELING BEHIND AT AGE 30

Do you feel like you're failing at adulting? Do you feel lost in life? Are you feeling behind at age 30? Almost 30? Over 30? Afraid of turning 30? Let's have a chat.

I turned 30 last month and I honestly feel like I'm in a state of fear and denial about my current phase of life. At 30 I thought I'd be married, enjoying my career, and living my best "rich Auntie" life. Reality? I'm single at 30 and struggling with dating in Atlanta, over my 9-5 job, and I'm...still not a rich Auntie lol. Everyone said that turning 30 would be relief, a break from feeling lost in your 20's. But it's not.

I'm in a rut. I can't help but feel like I wasted my 20s.

Is this an age 30 crisis? A tri-life crisis? Am I behind? Am I the only one who feels behind at age 30? Am I the only one failing at adulting? Is this feeling normal or am I...not normal?

Unfortunately, I don't have the answers but I hope we can figure it out together...because turning 30 kinda sucks.

CONNECT WITH ME:

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CHAPTER TIMES FOR THOSE WITH A SHORTER ATTENTION SPAN:
0:00 - INTRO
1:50 - AGEISM
3:00 - LACKING IDENTITY
5:00 - PRESSURE TO HAVE IT ALL TOGETHER
7:12 - LETTING GO OF YOUR 20'S
9:15 - DEFINING "HAPPINESS"
12:06 - ADVICE TO 20 SOMETHING'S

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KEYWORDS TO MAKE THE ALGORITHM LOVE ME:
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[TynishaTalks]

Have you ever felt behind in life? Leave some advice in the comments!

[tristybrooke]

I’d like to offer some advice to women in their 30’s and then to women in their 20’s. For those in their 30’s, the best way to stop feeling lost is to get serious about setting goals for this one life you have. Bucket your goals into categories- example, this is the financial future I want to build for myself, and here’s the steps I’m going to put in place to get there, example, I want marriage and children, I have zero time left to waste, I am only dating men who’s goals align with mine. For women in your 20’s, do NOT listen to those who tell you your twenties are a time to mess around, figure out the basic things that you want out of life as early as you can and front load the work to get there- if you do this, you will still have time to fail a few times and get back on track. By the time you’re 30 you will be settled and your life will be on track and you will feel at peace! My dad drilled in my head not to let any man waste my prime years- if I realized they weren’t going to marry me, I left them.

[grayscar]

I was excited to turn 30. My 30s have absolutely been better than my 20s. It's all about your mentality

[ChavisGreenard]

Welcome back, Tynisha! Listening to this now.

Don't worry. Life is a constant lesson. Take it from a 41 year old man. Learning and growth is constant. Don't put pressure on yourself and don't compare yourself to some of these ridiculous standards. Whether it's the red pill folks, bullies, trolls, or even your own thoughts, push past it all.

[LarsVader]

I’m 26 and I started feeling that way at 25.

I thought that by 25 I should be further in my career, married with kids, and more fulfilled. I looked
back at life and felt like I wasted my 20’s.

So I started going back to school, I quit smoking, I changed my diet, I started taking more risks, and being more intentional about building relationships.

I feel like you truly learn who you are through adversity. So Ive been challenging myself in all the areas that I
have ignored over the years.

Throughout the process, I’ve cried, battled negative thoughts, and began seeing a therapist.

Within 1 year I’ve become a more healthy, happy and consistent person.
The lord provided the courage, I just had to walk by faith.

My father is 45 and he is more cool, young and fulfilled than I have ever been at any age.

The key is never loosing that inner kid. But allowing for that part of you to continue exploring and learning and laughing. And allowing the adult to do the adult stuff.

[ramalellison]

Felt the same way. Turning 28 I was sad, nervous, embarrassed, etc. Turning 30 I'm not where I wanna be yet but I've made great strides. My advice is to one stop comparing your life to people online. And 2 to start to create a plan for yourself, what career you want, starting to prep for retirement, how to find a partner, knowing you wanna heal, and ACTUALLY PUT IN THE WORK!!

[malski]

Your energy is super dope. I’ve gone through this at time which led to depression. But honesty I just kept pushing forward and the more I do that, the clearer the future is getting

[arianajaden]

Yes girl. When I turned 29 I felt low key depressed. I'll be 30 in April and I'm dreading it low-key, I'm praying for a miracle because it's literally painful, as everything I value and want to obtain seems out of reach.

[lexusgibz]

I’m so appreciative of your transparency!

I’m 32 now but I fully remember feeling exactly the same when I first turned 30. It took a while (and I’d be lying if I said it wasn’t an ongoing journey) and it’s a steady journey of reminding myself that I am exactly where I am supposed to be at this point. And what’s for me will happen when it’s supposed to happen. And just accepting that and living in it.

But acknowledging the feelings and sitting in them for a while, not for long, was necessary for me to then be able to move past them.

Wishing you love and light on your journey. As a woman in her 30s, im letting you know it gets better 😊.

[naeb]

I felt this and this was so refreshing. I love the transparency because I feel the same way you do. Thank you! I turned 30 this year as well and I still feel so lost and honestly just winging what I have to do with spurts of joy and excitement in between sometimes . I am just trying to find who I am but it is not easy. I do feel a little behind or as though I am not doing enough. I am just taking things day by day and being grateful and embracing for the woman I am and aspire to become.

[UrbanNinja]

I undertstand all this 2 months from turning 30 myself, as of right now, im not lost or feeling behind, yea its intense as far as internal/social battles but talking to God, and having creative outlets helps me cope im on downtime taking time off from reality figuring things out as I get older reacting different, dont care for certain things, and standing out even more is better for me Im not worried bout or living up to certain social norms, standards expectations etc.. making my own rules. I'm here 4 ya your not alone everybody else out there same to you stay ahead of the game, stay strong, stay focused, stay unfazed, stay breaking chains, stay unshakin all love Gods got you!! OVERCOME DONT ACCEPT DEFEAT, MEDIOCRITY OR STAGNATNESS

[india_regal]

I just found your channel by way of your black sheep video. And I’ve been binging ever since. It’s truly a breath of fresh air to find a channel that speaks to less attractive topics on SM. I so look forward to enjoying more content from you- your new virtual bestie 😂😇🎉

[jeffbrown]

Wow Ty! I wanted to comment so bad but I was really trying to focus on everything you were discussing. Ty I think (you actually said this) that you are putting way too much pressure on yourself. You may have heard the saying "bloom where you are planted"? You were really answering many of your own questions such as self care, spending alone time. Ty 30 is a great age so enjoy it, it's a blessing. You have many wise & smart women who can do a advise you more on aging, child bearing, etc so I will leave that to them. You are extremely intelligent, folks are always complimenting you on how beautiful you are, you have so many positive attributes so just keep taking time for self care, spirituality and keep moving forward! Stop pressuring yourself so much!

[joannaainreallife]

Sissss, yesss !!! I'm here w youu !!! This definitely resonated with my soul to the fullest in all honesty!!! I've been here for quite some time now and I'll be 30 in a couple of more months, if the MOST HIGH willing !!

For me, back when I was maybe 25 or even 26 I just started to feel behind as a Woman & being that I'm a Wife and Mom could've pushed me to feel this way even sooner . Not speaking bad of my beautiful family, I love them w everything in me. But they were my teaching lessons, without them I wouldn't of known all the areas I lacked.
Growing up as a child, it was so much I wasn't taught . I wasn't nurtured by my mother at all whatsoever, and I was always filled with so much doubt of myself !

Now, fast forward in life ..I am finally at a place in life to RELEASE, release all things that doesn't feel good to my soul !!! This goes for food, people, the way I respond to things (emotionally), and the way I let people treat me !!

I literally was just telling my spouse, I don't like the way that my family or friends don't approach me like I'm a Wife and a Mother (because I'm so soft spoken)..it's time I start showing who I've evolved into and still growing into siss !!

I'm wishing youu the best on this journey, all the growth, prosperity, peace, and positivity that youu desire !! Youu got this 💪🏾🤗🦋💕💛🌻

[ATLANDMOVIES]

I have a hard time letting go. This year was a year of transition for me. And I found out that acceptance for me is not "letting go or forgetting" it's just honestly looking at things that are in front of me...which is gratitude one of my biggest values. Just thought I'd share best of luck to you.

[noirefit]

I’m 28 and finally getting my life straight and figured out. I’m in the process. I feel like my 30s will be better and I’m actually looking forward to 30. It represents a new chapter for me

[loveserenity]

I just turned 31 & I have been feeling some of these same angst, it’s been a struggle navigating 31. I’ve been trying to really dig deep and just feel how I’m actually feeling.

[nicolettedicarlo]

“Diamonds are made out of pressure.” I really like that!

[taybee]

I love that you speaking your truth! Btw I truly enjoyed the event you had 💕.

[tristybrooke]

I’m so glad that you’re speaking on this topic. It’s so important for us as women to speak our thruth because it can help others struggling silently to heal. I hear a lot of people around me sad or worried about turning 30 but unfortunately I cannot relate to that fear. I feel SO good about getting older, I feel excited about being an older woman. I understand more and more about myself, and this world and have so much more wisdom with each passing month, day, year. I’m proud to be 33. Maybe it’s because I have my education, husband and kids before I was 30 I’m not sure if that’s why but I truly believe aging is a privilege. But at the same time it’s important to all express our different views with getting older. They have put this fear around 30 for women and I totally reject that theory!