Asexuals are not LGBT

I am tired bc of work and a slight motorcycle accident. Please accept these paltry offerings. :(

Edit: 11/25/2023

It always amuses me that this video still, to this day, gets the most 'hate'. If you aren't same sex attracted, you aren't a part of the gay community. Why does it annoy you so much that you don't belong to a group that has historically and continues today, to face so much oppression and violence?

[shaunfirebird]

As someone who is asexual i can understand the arguments for and against considering us being part of the community. My view on it is why are us Aces so interested in being part of a community that doesn't want us in it or even cares about us. It does upset me a bit to have people who doesn't understand what it's like being Ace telling us what it is and how we should feel.

[dippledopple]

“We only have sex sometimes because it feels nice” making you asexual is fucking crazy

I wouldn’t want to have sex for any other reason that it feels nice either. I’m tired of the community creating crazy broad terms to just describe average human differences. It’s so diluting

[Brutactical]

I’m asexual I don’t identify myself with the lgbtq I just see me as a straight male who is not interested in sex and feels nothing in a relationship

[avivastudios]

Woww... This video is literally everything I wanted to say about Ace people. It's like you took the words right out of my mouth. Unbelievable. I respect ace people and all but they're definitely not the same as LGBs. No one is going to beat you up for not holding someone's hand.

[Epicalover]

During the pandemic I used to think I was asexual due to my very low sexual drive at that time (probably from the post COVID symptoms and I was in lefty spaces so I wanted to feel special) Now I realize and know that I am just straight and that's ok, but thinking I was asexual really hurt my dating life because I didn't date back then.

[deathbird]

Based on the comments, this one stirred some feelings in people with strong feelings about what they don't feel.
"Validity" is a hell of a drug.
TIL oppression is when someone says "You can't sit with us." or "We don't have significant common interests."

[avivastudios]

I wonder what you'd say about lovesart23. She identifies as asexual but apparently has these non-sexual crushes that she calls "squishes" and really likes furry art. She also apparently hates to be touched.

[rancors]

Aven made a very poor public relations decision. All that trying to include aces in the lgbt community does is to just cause grief for everyone. We don't need more exposure. I felt rage at what they did to Alan Turing. Just leave people alone to be who they are.

[twocanplay]

Really enjoyed this video, can't seem to find another one on YouTube where people call out out this crap. Way too many people wanting to feel special for absolutely no reason nowadays, thus the asexual/aromantic thing was born. Even if you truly don't experience attraction, you do not face oppression for it. Nobody cares if you don't want to be in a relationship or get married, at least not in the first world where asexuality/aromantic was invented.

[Shrimpozy]

I’m asexual but I like to think of myself as someone who just finds sex unpleasant and very uncomfortable instead of making it my whole identity lol

[LinjaWarrior]

.... i don't feel sexually attracted to anyone .. and i don't think i m a part of lgtbq i m just a person who prefer to not have sex,

[KaiDecadence]

I think your explanation was nicely done and I agree with you. I'll admit that I'm still not sure if Asexuality really isn't just people with really low sex-drive/libido because I've come across way too many self-proclaimed asexuals who say vehemently how much they are asexual when they're teenagers or even freshly 20-21 only to then have their sexual awakening in their 20s (the ones who labeled themselves when they were teens) or late 20s or 30s (the ones at 20-21). I just have a bit of skepticism but in admitting this, the world is huge and I'm sure that there are people out there who legitimately don't have a sex drive or libido but that it's very very rare.

I do agree though that asexuals have no place in the LGB / Gay community. They're not oppressed. At worst, they only have to worry about having a very small dating pool but aside from that, they face no real legislative struggle that we homosexuals historically had to go through over something we could never control. And there is no place in the world where you'd be assaulted for being asexual. Maybe a person who doesn't understand it but that's just a minor inconvenience. And never mind the fact that many of these "ace" people are part of the people who call the LGB / Gay community as "queer", a slur that has been used against us gays and lesbians and mostly have no interest "reclaiming", it just says quite a bit how these people shoved themselves in. Not to the level of the trans crowd but still.

[karami]

I’ve always had squishes towards guys (I’m a girl) but the thought of ‘getting it down’ with them is just physically repulsive to me. I grew up in a family that did not show physical love towards each other and my parents slept in separate rooms. So topics of sex was rarely ever discussed and I just grew up slightly disgusted of the whole idea. That’s just where I’m coming from.

[IceGoddessRukia]

"People who want to have sex after getting to know someone" THAT- ISN'T ACE. AAAA
I'm farrr past being a kid and I know I'm asexual- but it muddies the waters when kids are like "You can have sex and STILL be ace!" BRUH.

[Kelpoanimations_]

Aces have been punished in the past, it was seen as a mental issue until 2013 and we were also heavily discriminated against. I found this out in 5 minutes of research, kindly f-ck off. And have a nice day😊

[cradica]

I told someone some think asexuals aren't LGBT and she called me homophobic for it which I thought was unfair.

[corvidus]

Hey, asexual guy here. There are a few points with your video I want to address and I would gladly have a conversation about this topic.

Firstly, asexuality is defined as a lack of sexual attraction to any particular gender. Sexual attraction is not the same as libido or romantic attraction. Sexual attraction is the "I'd quite fancy to have sex with that person" instinct, while libido is your body wanting sexual release, and romantic attraction is the "I'd like to hold hands, cuddle, etc. with that person" instinct. Yes, for many people romantic and sexual attraction are rooted in each other, but that does not mean that is the case for everyone. You telling ace or aro people that they have a "hormonal issue" is comparable to conservatives telling gay people they are unnatural, and saying romantic and sexual attraction are interconnected for everyone is comparable to telling a bi or pan person that people are only attracted to one gender. Just because you experience things that way doesn't mean everyone does.

Secondly, the ace and aro community are in general very sex positive. Yes, there are sex repulsed asexuals, but that just means they aren't comfortable with sex, not that they think sex in general is bad; That they would like there to be SFW spaces doesn't mean they want NSFW to be removed. The same goes for asexual representation; We want more asexual representation, but that doesn't mean we want other forms of representation replaced by it. "They want to replace gay relationships with queer platonic ones" reminds me heavily of homophobic rhetoric used by conservatives.

Lastly, I want to tell you that we are fighting the same fight. Both the ace and aro comunities and the lgbt+ comunity fight the same fight against heteronormativity, since we are all oppresed by it. Gatekeeping, oppresion olympics and infighting aren't helping us win that fight.
By the way, asexuality and aromanticism categorically fall under lgbt+, not only because of the a in lgbtqia, but also because they are sexual and romantic minorities and go against heteronormativity.

Thank you for hearing me out, I, in return am open to hearing what you think about what I said. If you have any questions I would be happy to answer them; I want to build bridges, not burn them.

[Abbi]

1. For your reasons that asexuals don’t ‘belong’ at pride some asexuals do feel same sex attraction a lot of us still want to date people we just don’t feel attracted sexually and your wrong about asexual not being oppressed there really aren’t that many asexual representation and I was raised in a Christian home and from the way my father and other Christians acted towards asexuals (some treating like it’s an illness similar to how people used to think being gay was, some don’t take it seriously saying it’s a phase or we just have to wait till we meet the right person these are things that are similar to how lgbt people are treated not every lgbt person was attacked and you don’t have to be attacked to be oppressed but even so the community is about sexuality and gender not who is oppressed or who’s attracted to the same sex and yes we still are oppressed because we aren’t in relationships but usually not by people as a large but by family we do belong at pride we aren’t homophobic for simply wanting to be part of the community
2. About the children can’t be asexual I would disagree when my sister was 12 she didn’t really want to have sex bc she was 12 but she found characters attractive or hot this had confused me I was older than her and never felt this, now if she can find characters attractive then surely it’s possible for other kids her age to not find attraction
3.and yes we do need ace representation there is far more representation for the other people in the community ace people are not homophobic we just want a place to belong and we do share a good bit in common actually and another way ace people have been oppressed is by our own partners no matter the gender it’s terrible for both sides because often times people who aren’t asexual want sex some of them don’t take no for an answer but some of them do but they are deeply hurt it sucks for both people.

[HER_Only_sIN]

Oh wow. What the heck... Asexuals need representation regardless and should be able to find that security in the lgbtq community. I can't count how many times people say "oh, you'll change your mind when you meet 'the one' or grow up"; the same exact thing people have said to other sexualities. It makes no sense to try and shun it >:c

[magicalspacegiraffe]

The most telling thing to me is they've made 110 types of asexuals that do have sex but there's no word to describe that no, I do not want to have sex now or ever, and no, there's no right person to meet. The ace subreddits I checked out once I realised ace might explain me are 80% "don't kinkshame" and "yes, you can do xyz and still be ace" and "aces can totally just serve their alo partners once in a while to make the relationship work". There's literally no word for someone who seriously doesn't want to do anything with any of that and if you question it, you get dogpiled.

The only harassment I've experienced is because people took my lack of interest in opposite sex as automatic attraction to same sex, so I definitely agree there's no special asexual oppression. However, from my experience, I do believe an ace even in a western country is more likely to "try to make a relationship work" because asexuality is simply not known as a thing. What helped me was realising that I relate to lesbian stories about trying to avoid relationships with men, but none about the desire for women and then it clicked. But I would assume being gay if you feel attraction for opposite sex is harder to ignore than just assuming "maybe I will start to like doing this eventually".

In the end, all I'd wish from LGB community is to mention asexuality exists in their info materials, because I think aces questioning themselves might consider being gay first. But also I think actual aces need their own word that disassociates from the bloated monster of demi-panny-whatever community that, honestly, was really freaking s*x obsessed from my experience. Also, I feel like actual aces probably wouldn't want to participate in Pride in cities where kinks and Pride somehow became synonymous, because, again, don't want to be part of other people's kinks.