Therapist Reacts to BRAVE

Do you ever feel like you're in a conversation but just talking right past each other? Merida and her mother frequently complain that the other just. won't. listen. At the start of the movie, their relationship is full of misunderstandings because they want to be understood, but don't try to understand.

Licensed therapist Jonathan Decker and filmmaker Alan Seawright dissect the mother-daughter relationship in Pixar's Brave - from the issues that plague their relationship at the start, to the ways they seek reconciliation throughout the film, and of course the incredible animation in this film. (You might also get to hear their attempts at a Scottish brogue.)

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Cinema Therapy is:
Written by: Megan Seawright, Jonathan Decker and Alan Seawright
Produced by: Jonathan Decker, Megan Seawright & Alan Seawright
Edited by: Alan Seawright
Director of Photography: Bradley Olsen
English Transcription by: Anna Preis

[Kasey]

"Your feelings are valid. Your valid feelings do not excuse mean and destructive behavior towards others."

[milo_thatch_incarnate]

My best friend pointed out as we were watching this that each of you sits like his profession: Jonathan sits back with his hands folded like a listening therapist, and Alan sits with one leg crossed and leaning into the side of his chair, like a director looking through or around a camera. Thought you guys would get a laugh out of that.

[CanYouNot-]

"You are my mother, you gave me life, you raised me, I DO need to show you respect... *but I'm a person, and I deserve your respect too.* " I CRIED. My mother doesn't understand this.

[tsunemara]

We adore the dad in this. He’s so masculine and manly, yet he’s not afraid to show his love and be gentle with his family

[micah]

the way merida says "i want you back, mummy" just never fails to shatter my heart...
this one moment of vulnerability in calling her mummy instead of mum or mother

[amarillis]

“When you treat kids like people instead of like kids, what ends up happening is the respect that you’re demanding - they give to you freely.”

[ashemarlow]

Fun fact: Pixar actually created a new software just so they could properly animate all of the 3, 000+ strands of Merida's hair

[scarsound]

Notice the queen’s hair before and after she was a bear. Before it was so rigid and literally tied up/uptight, but after her transformation she allowed herself AND her hair to really unwind and adopt some of her daughter’s excitement and desire for freedom in life

It’s beautiful (figuratively and literally - she looks so good with her hair down)

[slashandbones]

Pixar is great at opposing characters both having something to learn.

[bryngrunyt]

Only Johnathan could say:
“he’s gonna lose his wife and his sons... to beardom”
with a completely sincere straight face 🤣🤣

[lydia]

This commentary is missing a key piece, which is the scene at the river where Queen Elinor has to rely on Merida's wilderness knowledge and fishing skill and she realizes that her daughter isn't lazy or inattentive, just skilled in a different way.

[TayTazer]

Something I realized after watching this film hundreds of times, in the scene where Eleanor is talking to her husband and Merida is talking to her horse... What they've insinuated by them having a perfect back and forth is that Fergus, the king, is saying almost the exact words Merida is, to Eleanor. They are having a conversation, with Fergus substituting as Merida. He knows his daughter so fully and completely that he could speak for her almost word for word. The scene where Merida says "I want my freedom" and Eleanor says "but are you willing to pay the price your freedom will cost?" it shows that Fergus actually understands Merida perfectly, because he used that same word: freedom.

[dddeepikaaa]

"you were never there for me"
- She was always there for you just not in the ways you wanted

This line defines difficulties in relationships so much that it actually hurts

[Lia-cgor]

"You try to tell someone what they're doing is wrong then they'll tell you why it's right, cause you're arguing the result and they're arguing the intention''

[LittleHobbit]

_"Her mom is doing what a lot of parents do which is they want the best for their kids, and they ignore what the kids are actually saying they need. [...] Be a parent but as you're guiding them to adulthood, let them be them."_
Sir, you've just succinctly summarized every major fight I ever had with my mom. XD

[danielhale]

Something I liked about the film was that Merida doesn't get everything she wants, but she gets what she needs. She's able to rescue her mom and put off the wedding, but on the journey there she has to embrace some of the things her mother was trying to teach her, such as speaking diplomatically. When they're in the wild, her mother gets to see Merida's skills at work in a valuable way, opening her heart too. Neither ends up enforcing their will; they meet in the middle and acknowledge each other's value and needs.

[chise]

Jonathan really was born to be a therapist. He's gifted

[riakun]

As someone who has Merida's *EXACT* hair, and is of Scottish descent, can confirm: our curly hair defies all logic, sense, and gravity.

[macaronmoon]

I love how when Johnathan was talking about anger I noticed how his popcorn bag was ripped open instead of just opened and thought about how frustrating that bag must have been.

[YuriPlisetskyKinnie]

I LOVE how Merida never seems scared of her mom, there’s one scene after the tapestry gets sliced when Eleanor yanks off her bow and Merida looks somewhat shocked but not scared, and that’s something I wish I could have with my parents