Therapist Reacts to CORALINE

How do you stand up to people trying to manipulate you? How do you do the right thing even when you're scared?

Licensed therapist Jonathan Decker and filmmaker Alan Seawright compare Coraline's real mother and other mother to talk about what good parenting looks like and how to stand up to manipulators and fear. They talk about how Coraline is the scariest kids' movie they've ever seen, the amazing stop-motion design and color palettes, and the danger of just trying to escape reality or your problems. Especially if that escape involves button eyes.

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Cinema Therapy is:
Written by: Megan Seawright, Jonathan Decker, and Alan Seawright
Produced by: Jonathan Decker, Megan Seawright, and Alan Seawright
Director of Photography: Bradley Olsen
English Transcription by: Anna Preis

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[julkap]

I also love how the other mother dresses up like her real mother at first, and then later her clothes are more and more like her own (she also looks more and more like a spider). It's like she's slowly showing her true colors.

[Blizzeta]

Something I learned YEARS later is that the song the Other Father sings is actually a warning to her. He’s literally telling her that the Other Mother is always watching her and trying to make her stay by making that world never be boring.

[haleybug]

Something i also realized is that, Coraline probably usually never bothered her parents this much before the move, but since theyve moved, and separated her from all her familiar friends and places, she has nothing else familiar besides them, and they're so focused on work and fixing their adult mistakes, they end up being impatient and short with Coraline.

[bronamitchell]

I still believe the creepiest part of Coraline is the grandmother. Wybie mentioned she usually never lets tenants who have children rent from her, from the home she lived in as a child. But now that Wybie is at the age where Other Mother comes a calling, she offers someone else's child up instead. Her genuine surprise meeting Coraline at the end, that Coraline would be the one to defeat Other Mother gets me everytime.

[ariannaelmer]

I think this quote from the book perfectly encapsulates the message. The other father is trying to convince Coraline to stay, saying she will get whatever she wants. She replies “I don't want whatever I want. Nobody does. Not really. What kind of fun would it be if I just got everything I ever wanted just like that, and it didn't mean anything? What then?” I love how she says it wouldn’t MEAN anything. Life isn’t about getting everything we want but finding true love and meaning.

[corvatrix]

I appreciate that once Coraline accepts the drab, gray "real" world, she makes a conscious choice to implement the things she loved about the dream world (friends with her neighbors, making space for Wybie and his grandma, planting colorful flowers in the garden, etc). Making her waking life more beautiful and doing the work to make it somewhere she wants to be.

[SailorYue]

Another reason why Coraline is legitimately so terrifying, is in all honesty it's a perfect example of a type of grooming. Grooming doesn't always lead to sexual favors... Just look at what the other mother wanted

[ScrambledAndBenedict]

Coraline is living proof that you don't need to be gory, or even violent, to be scary. It's proof that a movie doesn't have to fall into total goreporn territory like the Saw films in order to be genuine, gutteral horror.

Also, something I love about Coraline, is the parents don't actually have to go through any kind of "redemption" arc. Not only is it fairly reasonable how they act, but also it's made fairly clear this isn't the norm for them: the mom is injured, and the dad has a looming deadline, so they are a lot farther out of their comfort zone than they normally are and thus there's no reason for them to "redeem" since the situation will resolve itself in time.

[Moonlight.Howlings.]

One of my favourite fun facts about Coraline is that the medal Mr Bobinsky wears is the liquidator medal. It means that he helped in the clean up of Chernobyl which helps to explain why his skin is blue and he eats raw beetroots (they're supposed to help against radiation damage).

[justasmltwngir]

Apparently publishers thought that Coraline was too scary for children to enjoy, so Neil Gaiman had his editor’s child read it. The child said that it wasn’t too scary, so it got published. Years later when Gaiman asked she said that it was terrifying, but she needed to know what happened next. That makes a lot of sense lol.

[CrumbisBumbis]

I just wish Coralines parents had redirected her in a kinder way when they were clearly irritated. Like real parents, they're very much allowed to be frustrated but it's saying things like "will you stop pestering me" that I think does really impact a child's sense of self. Parents need to communicate their needs as well even if it's gently telling your child that you don't have time to do what they want. Going back to what was said at the start, even if something isn't neglectful in the eyes of the parent, that doesn't negate the impact it may have on the child, even after they have grown to understand the reasoning.

[hoo]

One detail that I really appreciate is how, when they sit down to eat, the Other Mother doesn't eat: she never has food in her plate, she gives food to the snapping dragons but doesn't eat herself; because her food is the children's lives. Meanwhile the Other Father, who's literally a hollowed pumpkin, eats a ton.

[lindadaheim]

I think my mom managed that clingy thing very good when we were little. She always let us take part in what she was doing: when she was washing dishes, we got a towel to dry them. When she was baking, we were allowed to make our own bread too. We sew, crocheted, knitted, baked, painted with her. We loved it and learned a lot. Thank you, mama!

[kbomb]

You know, I think this is also a cautionary tale for parents. That if you aren't meeting your children's needs, they'll get their needs from someone else. Whether or not that someone else is good for them

[owenbegowin]

At some point when I was little, my dad taught me that you only owe someone if you asked them for help/nice things. If they give it to you freely, there is no basis for them to say “but I did all of this for you, why can’t you do this for me?” If they wanted to be nice, that’s their fault. Not only was this helpful for not falling for manipulations large or small, but it helped me realize that it doesn’t get you anywhere if you try it… even if it’s just 7-year-old me playing minecraft with my dad :)

[johnbutt]

I think the film producers struck such a good balance with Coralines real parents. You can tell they do care and give her some attention, but they also have other things to deal with. That's why I love the scene at 13:02 where her real Dad cooks and calls her a fusspot. It's the perfect balance between a little bit of fun and attention, and being preoccupied with moving and writing the catalogue.
Fantastic job

[sushiroll]

The Other Father's song, while being an absolute banger, is also a really clever piece of foreshadowing, mainly the lines "She's as cute as a BUTTON IN THE EYES of everyone who ever laid their eyes on Coraline" and "When she goes around exploring, Mom and I will never ever make it boring; OUR EYES will be ON CORALINE!" He was trying to warn her.

[fave]

i saw a tweet that said "Coraline is so real. If a demon created a different reality where my mom loved me i’d get trapped there too" and honestly i can relate so much

[AstroTom]

You said exactly what I always felt watching this as a kid. The ghost children always scared me. Not because I was scared of them but what she'd *done* to them.

[TheOriginalStarwalker]

This is exactly why Coraline was so relatable. My childhood was spent swapping between parents who indulged my desires, and parents who completely denied me those indulgences and more