Worst Advice to Give to Targets of Workplace Bullying

Worst Advice to Give to Targets of Workplace Bullying

You have probably been struggling for a while to stop the offensive workplace behaviors and are at a point where you just don’t know what to do anymore and you are feeling frustrated with the lack of support. So you ask for some advice from others in hopes that this will help you.

What you really want is to be able to solve the problem with just one conversation so that the bullying ends and that you are supported by colleagues while you do it.

The problem is the people you are going to don’t have it all figured out either. They look happy and the advice they give you does nothing to help you resolve issues.

I am going to share with you the three worst pieces of advice targets of workplace bullying receive and why this advice may actually be creating more problems for you

Whether you are trying conflict resolution for small issues or larger issues like workplace bullying, building relationships and supporting targets of working bullying will require we work on our communication skills, especially our communication in conflict

Sometimes the most difficult conversations happen when targets of bullying are given the worst advice by well-intentioned people.

A toxic workplace is one where difficult people in the workplace are allowed to work without consequence. When someone says they are being bullied in relationships, either in or out of the workplace, we need to know how to help targets of bullying. Knowing what to do if someone discloses they feel bullied will help you maintain a positive relationship with others and be seen as a leader.

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💪💪 Tammy Dunnett is a Leadership and Communication Skills coach, organizational trainer, author, and keynote speaker.

She empowers healthcare professionals to confidently, and gracefully resolve conflict and end workplace bullying while creating a career where they are respected, empowered, and appreciated.

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[stephenbayer]

In my experience with bullying in the workplace, bullies are empowered by management. The manager is either a bully themself, demonstrating what kind of behaviors the employee-bully sees that they can get away with; or they are considered so valuable and irreplaceable that the manager chooses to overlook or excuse the behavior because she or he is so important to the larger goals of the organization.

[maureenw]

I think bullying comes from lack of leadership by management

[Aznmf]

This is why I stay debt free. I've been bullied out of every job I've had. It doesn't change from. Job to job. Being debt free let's me sleep at night.

[stevenkalavity]

Employment law needs to give more power to targets. Bullying is a form of corruption, in my view. Look at personnel handbooks and there is no support for the abuse of power that bullying behavior is. Also, I do not think there are individual bullies. Bullying is an organization structure. Individual bullies can easily be dealt with in a well managed organization. Bullying is a health and safety issue and top management must be held accountable for providing a safe and fair work environment.

[clairearendse]

Workplace bullying isn't about resolving conflict. It's about the need to dominate, and to maintain that social dynamic through reinforcement.

[carolstanhope]

I notice that they target ones who are 'well put together'.Kinda like seeing if they can take you down a couple notches.🤔🙄

[ladonnau]

When I stood-up to bullying, I was labeled “the problem”, and went through years of varying degrees of harassment. Unfortunately, by the time I realized things would NOT get better, I was too vested into my retirement to leave. I did find some solace in the fact it was not just happening to me, so we all made a running joke of it—Survivor.😂😂

[Therownie]

Honestly in my situation I’m not afraid to be confrontational and speak up, they used that as bait to get a reaction out of me but even when I straight up asked them what the issue was they would just stare at me and say nothing and after that it would continue. So ignoring it wouldn’t have made a difference because if they wanted to they would still laugh or exchange glances with one another for one reason or another. I’ve ignored them before and clearly it didn’t do much either. I am a friendly person and talk to a lot of people so I’m not sure what these people had against me. Overtime though it really makes you feel self conscious about your work ethic and how you perform when all eyes are on you or they are waiting for a screw up. I’m trying to find a job this week and I pray I find a healthy work culture/environment that means the most to me with supportive co-workers. I’ve had shitty co-workers in the past but it never got this immature.

[CmdrEsteban]

The ‘just ignore it’ and ‘don’t speak up’ approach is not only detrimental to the victim, but also just serves to further empower the bully to continue their offensive behaviour, as they can see they’re getting away with it. Just my experience as someone currently on stress leave due to one narcissistic toxic individual whose behaviour has been allowed to fester.

[oldskoolordie]

Without the support of senior management any resolution won't work. In most cases senior management have created the problem by ignoring or even supporting bullying members of staff.
The only solution is to leave or move to another department.

[jimgillert]

What I'm reading on the comments and my own experience is adults acting the same as in junior high school. The SAME!

[mountainherald]

During my first workplace bully experience, someone told me “Keep your head down, stay out of “their” way “ very bad advice. Yet, In my very recent, somewhat ongoing work place bullying saga, I am adopting somewhat the same form of coping . Because of the nature of the bullying, and all the directions it is coming from. Today is Saturday, and I am going into work to clean out my things . I need to do separation paperwork yet, but I want minimal contact. I am leaving, but I am so exhausted my body aches.

[kellyhlad]

I followed policy and reported this NURSE, dates names times etc, the bullying was stressing me out. I reported her twice and each time the bullying became worse. Nurses are the WORST. I ended up leaving. Management made the situation worse, it was like being bullied twice. There was no WIn, Win.

[emmanouilachladiotis]

When you speak to them you re the trouble maker and lose your job . Easy😂

[CynthiaBiel]

I was a teacher in New York and severely harassed by a clique. By the grace of God..I found a book titled: MOBBING that explained it all...just as I experienced it like a playbook.

[ivybichon]

Everything you’re saying is so true. I didn’t have the courage to speak up despite being bullied several times. I eventually brought it to my boss, who pretty much gaslight me about my reality. We had a formal meeting with h, which soon turned into retaliation from the bully. The retaliation never stopped for years though I would call and cry my eyes out and tell my boss about it. I just left the office after another incident and I’m not going back. However, I’m not letting them off the hook. It’s time for me to stand up against this individual and the organization that was suppose to protect me.

[wellnesstree]

I wish I found this video last year. I was dealing with these issues and ended up leaving my job. I spoke up to my manager who was doing the bullying but then she played victim and undermined me for about a year and placed me on a performance improvement plan with false accusations. During those 12 months, I started putting my energy into job searching and focusing on new goals. Now that I’m in a new company, I can’t help but think about what else I could’ve said or done to change things around. It really was a painful experience and you don’t get over the wounds and betrayal overnight.

[robicarm]

If you submit paper work, and nothing happens then you have to expect retaliation at some point. The HR at my job is the bosses brother in law, and some people are inter related. You have to figure out what your bullie has or will say. If you work with people who have close relationship connections outside the work place. It seems you should expect to either take it to a court or accept more harassment, or try to be civil.

[OGAngie]

I wish I could have liked this video 100x. I've watched literally 50+ videos over the course of the past 6 months on how to deal with an abusive covert narcissist, and this is the FIRST ONE that actually makes sense to me. All the advice has been to ignore it, not respond, etc. and now the entire department has been hearing this coworker talking poorly about me and since I have listened and not defended myself, they all believe her. Now it feels too late to even try to correct it because it's been almost a year of this narrative that everyone has given into. I was never someone obsessed with what people thought of me, but now people chuckle or walk out of rooms I go into. I'm hypervigilant, avoid doors, have been physically sick, don't sleep anymore, and it's been only getting worse over the year.

I swear that I'm usually the type of person that can empathize and resolve conflict, but I've never dealt with a manipulative, lying, triangulating person like this before. I hate being so on guard and paranoid all the time. I just want it to end.

[CB-wqwp]

If you are being by a sociopath coworker, and management isn't on your side, the only thing to do is begin looking for another job, and leave asap. Don't wait until you are so beaten down, mentally/emotionally worn out and physically exhausted that you're unable to successfully look for and obtain a new job.