The Most Powerful Way to Protect Your Kids from Pathological Narcissism

The Most Powerful Way to Protect Your Kids from Pathological Narcissism

So many people write in with questions about how they can protect their children from parents or relatives with narcissistic personality disorder (NPD) or other personality disorders.

They're terrified, with good reason, that even if their ex or other relative isn't physically abusive, their self-involved behaviors, lying, and manipulation will hurt their children emotionally.The good news is that you have far more power to protect your children than you may realize.

We already know from research what drives pathological narcissism--and we know even more about what protects children emotionally from traumatic experiences we may not be able to prevent--and for many of us, that means mitigating the damage our children may suffer at the hands of a partner we ourselves left precisely because of their abusive or neglectful nature.

In this video I describe:
-- the one approach guaranteed to protect your children emotionally no matter what adversity or emotional--and even physical-- danger they face
--the type of parenting mostly likely to promote that approach
--the strategy you need to prevent yourself from becoming more narcissistic if you're the child of a narcissistic parent.

[xplxy]

This made me cry. It only takes one parent. It could be you. Yes it is me! I will do all I can to protect my 6 year old daughter.

[kevinhornbuckle]

Attend to the bonding needs of your children by understanding authoritative parenting and practicing it. But also, undertake projects and adventures which cause you to rely upon each other. My son's mother is a narcissist, and that put my son at risk. I taught him juggling and we juggled a lot together. Intense focus and cooperation is required to do that. Also we went camping and hiking a lot. And we played musical duets together. He's twenty now and away at university. He calls me when he's troubled or needs advice, or just to say hello and, "I love you, dad." Finally, honesty builds trust. Be honest with your kids and expect them to be honest with you. The narcissistic parent teaches them to lie in order to use them as a weapon against you. You have to resist this by holding your kids accountable.

[rinelljames-ponceleon]

I am going through a rough time having left my narcissistic husband a year ago. I took 3 of our 4 children as my eldest has been badly affected by her dad, she was used to physically abuse me for the father could not do it himself. My eldest son age 12, who is with me is now, is displaying his father's narcissistic behaviour and I am learning how to correct it and guide him. Very difficult at the moment for we have been homeless for a year now, bouncing from place to place, the father is not helping financially as a matter of fact he has been running away from the courts.
Thank you for the video and it just confirmed what I suspected, my son needs loving structure and a balanced mum, hard under the circumstances but achievable.
Much love...

[andreaguedes]

The only problem is when the narcissistic parent in my case ex husband is fully alienating children! No matter how much I try to focus on my relationship with my children, parental alienation hurts tremendously and it is more damaging!

[rachp]

The ex has rejected his own children so i no longer have to worry about this. I was very hurt and angry at first but now i see this as a blessing. Be blessed.

[audreydupuy]

I agree, my mom was the only one to provide unconditional love and support. And I don't have narcissism, which my father had.

[alexkuieh]

I often listen to this presentation before sleep, as a form of meditation and prayer for my daughters. I am starting to recover my former self after 13 years of emotional abuse and a very savage discard. Thank you, Dr. Malkin.

[jram]

A pathological narcissistic mother will emotional abuse their children, and justify that uncaring, unloving, and lack of empathy behavior, as discipline. When the kids begin to get older, they begin to stand up for themselves, and the “discipline” begins to intensify. As a father, still married to a undiagnosed Narc woman, being in the middle is very stressful. If you pacify the Narc mother, and support her, the child is being abused, and you realize that, or you side with the child, and the spouse becomes unhinged. Your either a bad spouse, or a bad parent. In some situations, you become both, with the child and the disordered spouse, both being angry with you. Crazy and very difficult dynamic in real life. Please DR. give us more on this subject. As fathers, if we divorce, the courts, most likely will give our children to these abusive mothers. A situation I refuse to let happen to my child. This subject is a very very good one. Haven’t seen much on it at all. Thank you so much for taking the time.

[monicacruz]

Shout this from the rooftops. Essential information for every parent, not just those affected by NPD

[state]

I’m not worried about my child becoming a narcissist.
This video pretty much showed me that I’m already in the authoritative parenting mindset.
What I am worried about is my child being hurt by her father’s narcissistic abuse.
Where can I go to learn about protecting her?

[RLT]

Thank you for this. After 17 years of living together, I'm going through a divorce I hope to survive. Last couple of years in hell with severely depresed abusive wife I became a wreck myself. Have two kinds, it took me a year to decide to leave her as life became almost unbearable for me, can't keep any longer. I'm really concerned how to save my children from becoming damaged by her, abused, gaslighted, etc. I really hope you are right int the video and I'll try my best to be as close as possible to my kids for them to grow healthy individuals. Thank you. That gave me some hope that everything will be ok with them.

[CraigMalkin]

For those of you wondering, though I corrected myself later, I misspoke the first time I cited Sue Johnson and said responsible* (although that's important of course) accessible and engaged. It's actually *responsive*. Easy to remember as accessible, responsive, and engaged: *ARE* --what Dr. Johnson calls "Are you there for me?" experiences.

[jtner]

Wow!! This worked. I tried it 3 weeks ago and now it doesn’t matter what the narc does, whether I’m present or not, they can’t hurt my son. He still gets angry, but he has a way out now. What a relief. Thanks Dr. Malkin.

[dwachira]

Thank you!
Very very reassuring. I've been worried sick for my children. Attachment security for my children is what I've been working on and I'm happy to know it is good protection for them. I've felt helpless for some time.

Thank you!

[samn]

I needed this. I worry so much for my sons. Thank you from the bottom of my heart.

[esthervanrijswijk]

I cannot express the relief and joy I feel from watching this video. In 15 minutes you have removed a deeply held fear that I’ve had for over a decade. Thank you for sharing your knowledge with us all; it’s life changing.

[ZuheySerrano]

Thank you so much. This has saved me from a lot of grief!!! I was praying for an answer since last night after hearing some news and this only confirmed what I was already doing but was afraid It would fail because of the manipulative strength the narc has. I will continue to practice this and keep trusting God for the best outcome.

[michellemeer]

Thank you for the insightful video. I am in a custody battle with my narcissistic husband (soon to be ex). I have been reluctantly preparing for a costly, vicious war to protect my children, but with this information I feel tremendous relief. They consistently receive emotional support and acceptance from me, and definitely a healthy secure attachment. This is wonderful news, thank you for sharing, it is life-changing!

[DesiderataMama]

So hard. This is why I research, learn, grow around him because he will never change. Disengage, disengage, disengage with the narcissist. Teach empathy and compassion and kindness to your children. ❤

[kellygrasso]

Thank you for this. It gives me confidence in my parenting and helps me to be confident in spite of a very difficult divorce with a vulnerable narcissist. I'm not going to worry about the damage he's done, I'm going to move forward, continue to protect my family, and provide the support and love that I always have. Narcissists can make people doubt themselves.