Sharing my divorce story.

Thank you for letting my share my story of why I got divorced and the truth about my marriage. I never thought this would be my story but it is and my intention is to help anyone else who might be in the same position.
I want to make it clear that by no means was I perfect in this marriage. I would actually go as far as to say I had some really toxic behaviors as well. However, they stemmed from being with someone who was constantly disrespecting me and it was hard for me to continue to have respect for him. We all have things we could be better at in a relationship but please know that snapping a few times at your partner or not being super loving is NOT equivalent to adultery/infidelity, constant lying, manipulation, and sexual abuse.
I'm sending you love and praying for you, my friend.

Hotlines:
- Suicide hotline: 988

Fight the New Drug (post in video)

Marital rape studies and info:

Learn more about porn addictions:

Emotion abuse info:

Chapters:
00:26 - disclaimers + trigger warnings
02:00 - How we met + where things started
05:20 - married, moved Santa cruz
15:25 - moved to Ohio
20:00 - start of the end
26:30 - what happened right after I found out
31:15 - love bombing
32:20 - when I knew it was over
35:00 - on my own
35:50 - marital rape
37:05 - my testimony of faith
38:25 - praying over you

FTC: This video is NOT Sponsored. Some links may be affiliate links meaning I make commissions on sales with no extra expense to you. (thanks for supporting me by using my links!) All opinions are my own.

[xoxox]

I’m Muslim and in my community women tend to marry early and really idolize marriage until they face the reality of it. As women, we need to know ourselves better and work on our future before we get with someone. We need to know the guy as well and we need to stop being delusional

[Myster-Man-Channel]

The best thing I learned in life is that I don't have to accept unacceptable behavior❤. No one does actually.

[albertsonjenkins]

I'm an atheist but the prayer at the end felt really nice and really spoke to me. It's comforting to think that someone I don't even know would pray for my wellbeing.

[jensplannersandjesus]

All I can say is thank you for sharing. Forty years I lived in this and I’m struggling to find myself again.

[SageSummits]

My mom and I are going through something incredibly similar. Watching your story, it hits home. My dad is struggling with sex addiction and refuses to seek help. He's cheated on my mom hundreds, if not thousands of times. He's spent thousands of dollars on porn and meeting up with people from the internet.
My mom filed for divorce this week and since then, he's been love bombing us... pretending nothing is happening. Its really tough to go through. The denile, the lying, the manipulation, etc. Its very abusive to not only us, but himself. Sending you a massive hug. Thank you for sharing your story.

[rainsmuse]

The whole manipulation around sex and physical intimacy and using porn as a manipulation tactic is something that I went through in my previous relationship. I was 18 back then. 26 now. I haven't dated since because healing from that relationship alone has been a very long journey. I have taught myself so much in the process. I have been extremely selective about the people I surround myself with. Your story and persona resonated with me so much. Thank you for sharing your story. It must not have been easy. I wish you all the hope, comfort, and warmth in the world.

[melissalooman]

This dude will probably never change. It's a shame. Your such a sweet beautiful girl. HIS LOSS

[loveeli]

I'm 24, not married (yet), but your story taught me so much about the reality of marriage. Thank you for being open and brave enough to bare your scars to us. I'm so in love with your energy and overall style (cottagecore is my go-to aesthetic when it comes to dressing up). May He continually bless and heal your heart as the time passes! ♥️

[iampanashejoy]

I have not had this experience myself, but I’ve struggled with pornography. I’ve never gotten to the point of addiction but it was something I turned to occasionally when my hormones were raging and I should have been crying out to God or reaching out to other people instead. I knew in theory that it was harmful to me but refused to believe it was harmful to anyone else. Seeing what happened to you absolutely broke my heart. I broke down crying because I can’t imagine ever breaking someone’s heart the way yours was broken. I don’t want to let it get to that point. I’ve been growing more and more disgusted with pornography and I thank God for that. But this is that extra push that’s made me decide that I will not let myself get into marriage with a porn problem. I will not do this to another person. God bless you for sharing. You’ve helped change something in me.

[isabelmahr]

Dear Lauren, my heart actually kind of broke a little listening to your story. I'm so sorry you had to go through all of this and equally I am so inspired by your faith and by the fact that you're still holding onto God and his promises to you. May He strengthen you and bless you abundantly. Much love ❤️

[TooCoolForYourMom]

I also just went through a divorce as well, this past August, still in my 20s, after three years of marriage. The similarities to your story are almost haunting. The many tiny lies, the pornography, the half-finished book on how to salvage the relationship, the shame, the stress signals my body was giving me that I ignored, being told he’s no longer attracted to you, the cheating with an older woman but claiming it’s not “real” cheating towards the end of the relationship…seriously. You and I could probably talk for hours, lol.

From the bottom of my heart, I wish you the best in your journey forward. You are NOT alone, and I mean that in both the sense that God is with you and that others have gone through similar experiences. I felt like an alien going through my divorce, unwanted, and a failure to boot. Time has given me so much clarity and peace already and I’m sure it has for you as well. A friend told me (when everything was still so raw) that someday she hoped everything I was going through would be seen as God’s mercy. That day came faster than I ever could’ve thought. Good luck. ❤

[jimbowumbo]

Girl our story is so similar. I’ve been there. Got married young, divorced at 22. But got away, thank God. Now I’m married to the most amazing man and blessed with a beautiful baby boy. I’m praying for you and thankful to see I wasn’t the only one who had to experience this.

[H--B]

Everything happens for a reason. Imagine finding all this out later in life with children involved. You dodged a bullet and will be much stronger going forward because of this, thanks for sharing

[liaslovelylife]

I love that you were able to so beautifully articulate on all you went through even despite it being such a horrible time in your life. I went through a horrible marriage and hope to be able to share my story and help others, like you have! Thank you!! God is so amazing and truly works all our pain and brokenness out for good! ❤

[GirlySam]

I felt every single word. It tore my heart apart! I wish i could give u the biggest hug u ever received. I can relate.. divorced.. 3 kids.. ex has cyber-sex addiction..

[HannahB.]

I had been really uneasy this week as I learned that my dear friend who just recently turned 18 is now engaged to a man who has cheated and lied throughout their 10 month relationship. I believe that in the church, young girls often fall into these situations because self love is not focused on, and many outdated ideas of a woman’s value have been perpetuated. I think we encourage grace to a fault when it causes young girls to fail to stand up for themselves and their boundaries in these sorts of relationships. I am truly sorry that this is your reality and I am praying healing over you. Peace be with you ❤

[OfficialBluebird]

I completely identify with being within the first few months of marriage and things suddenly becoming awful. I got married at 21 and divorced at 26. I knew within the first few months - but I stayed for 4 years.

[alekpotter]

I followed you on Instagram a while back, but asked for a divorce this weekend. I’m not on social media right now, but I wanted to seek out your story. Thank you for sharing. We need more content around this- getting divorced young can be so isolating.

[GGVanilla]

I watch a short clip on Instagram of you dancing by yourself and I fully expected to dislike you and thought you just wanted “attention”… but I watched your entire video and I have to say you’re such a sweet, caring and loving person. You’re literally so beautiful inside and out and I’m so proud of you for being so young and brave. I believe you were the victim of a serious narcissist (possible sociopath?!) and he discarded you and thank God he did. You had no option but to let go (and that’s a huge blessing for someone with a heart that’s a bottomless well of love).

I think the biggest lesson for all us discarded by narcissists is exactly that, we shouldn’t love people endlessly. We should stop and evaluate and make sure they deserve that love because it is the highest quality gift that you can give and not everyone deserves it.

You’re so young and have a whole life ahead of you and I have no doubt you’re going to lead a life full of self love, self discovery and most of all resilience.

I send you so much love and god energy. Take care of yourself and your kitty !!!

[simonewaithe]

Your testimony really helped me. Thank you for having the courage to share your story 🙏🏾