What is masculinity?

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[anafernandes]

Your drummer teacher showed you exactly what masculinity is 🙋
"You felt safe around him" 💛

[briobarb]

Well said, Patrick. How sad that somewhere along the line, as humans, we decided that how we define masculinity or femininity, is more important than how we define "decent, kind and loving HUMANITY!". ❤

[missteedub]

BLESS those adults that were there for us when our parents wouldn't and/or couldn't. I have very fond memories of some teachers and neighbours that were, dare I say it, normal and simply caring.

[fourmacs]

Teahan is a common surname in my neck of the woods, in Ireland. I’ve often felt like you look familiar. You would fit in here, until you spoke 😂 Maybe you’ll visit one day. Thanks for all your posts!

[DCornwell-dt]

My Dad was not a large man, but he knew how to be huge if the situation called for it. He was not one to stand by and watch someone or something get mistreated without stepping in himself, calling for help, or doing SOMETHING.. If he got laid off, he did odd jobs. Taught me how to do lots of things and wasn't afraid to tell me, not like this-like that. Kind to people and animals. Lent his help when needed. That's how mu Dad showed me masculinity. I was blessed by a father who was there with me, for me all through my life. Not lots of money, but don't care.

[agentkproductions]

I'm very glad for your son. I believe you as a father are a huge blessing!

[horoekaify]

As a mum of 2 teenage young men I have thought long and hard about this. I think masculinity and feminity are outdated concepts. What we need is our individuality to be celebrated and for us to appreciate the individuality of those around us I.e. not confining people by gender stereotypes. Do boys need masculine role models? Do girls need feminine role models? No. What we all need is unconditional love and the room to be our unique selves. Thanks for bringing up the topic Patrick

[StillAwakeAwareDiscerning]

Aragorn in The Lord of the Rings. He has, what I consider, healthy masculinity.

[paolagomez]

I had average income parents. Sometimes above average. I never felt I missed out on anything in life. We were well fed and had lots of quality time together.
I've always felt protected, safe, and stable around my dad. He loves caring for his family. He's sincere, sturdy, caring, wise, supportive and loving. That's a masculine man imo!

[simplyixia]

Toxic masculinity can never be satisfied—you’ll never be strong enough, tough enough, man enough for toxic masculinity.
Healthy masculinity looks like (but is not limited to) kindness, healthy emotional expression & regulation, and character.

[arikaGME]

I had a guitar teacher named Vince that was like this when I was a teen. To me masculinity is being able to see that people may be weaker than you, but having appropriate boundaries not to take advantage of weakness in others. It’s using personal power and resources to make life more stable for others. Good men protect and support those that they love.

[muertito]

Good description of a safe person. ❤️
From my female perspective I don’t think that being a safe person is connected to any gender, but I don’t know how it feels to be a boy or a man, so 🤷🏻‍♀️ but I understand a safe male person perfectly 🤗

[peacheyearth]

To me, its important to create the cultural space to allow each man's own individual expression of masculinity to unfold. Ultimately I think it's about authenticity, self mastery, integrity, spine and courage, being able to demonstrate containment and leadership so that others can trust & feel safe with you, for you to embody trustworthiness, provision (which can look like many things), and to be able to harness direct healthy anger and protection as and when really needed (to defend that which is vulnerable).

All of this, I feel, requires a real attunement to one's self and heart, and others/their hearts..To become someone of deep virtue. I love Aragorn from LOTR as an example 👑❤️✨

[kimberleyhampton]

Love this! Thank You for sharing this!!!!

[t.c.l]

The ability to grow, and change with the seasons, to adapt, to become a reflection of what we see in the world as a response, to be a man, is masculine. It is enduring life. It needs no one size fits all category. If we are males, we all are put through seasons and weather the storms in our own way, have our own experiences. We learn to mend our wounds, and overcome bitterness, transform pain and sorrow into something greater, something that makes our story show, that our experiences, give us purpose.

[Emile-philia]

This is a fun exercise. I would say masculinity exists conceptually as a dichotomous contradistinction to femininity. However, as with all concepts they are highly arbitrary as projected gestalts and their definitions end up reflecting our habits of thought molded through convention and culture. We could've easily (and might still in the future) had a plurality of concepts rather than a dichotomy. I would say masculinity and femininity is very much like beauty standards throughout history in that they're malleable and reflect the values of the time. In the same way that beauty standards have transformed rapidly alongside the rapid transformation of our culture post-industrialisation, as have gender roles. Conservatives want to go back to a past that will never exist again and for the most part end up unwittingly hurting themselves and others.

[christophermcneela]

Stand tall. Acorn to mighty oak. Don’t allow the incompetent parental gardeners to “train you up” in any way not consistent with your native self/soul original and authentic you.

[stanjones]

I truly enjoy your vids especially with Anna Runkle! Thank you for all of your insight!

[erikatrevino]

❤ those are special men. Few and far between in my life so they really stand out.

[dtearney]

I have a very similar experience, Patrick. The drama coach my senior year became sort of a father figure to me as I graduated high school and didn't have people around to model healthy behavior.

We still talk regularly and visit on holidays. Idk how I might've turned out if not for some of his guidance.