7 Signs that Your Ego is too Fragile

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When we think of ego, we often think of someone who has a big ego, or is full of themselves. But, the ego is not something bad... or good. It's just a term we use to describe our sense of self. A secure ego would mean that someone has a secure sense of themselves and an insecure ego means that someone has an insecure sense of themselves. Contrary to what we might think, someone with a big ego, actually has a fragile ego. A fragile ego can show up in many ways, and in this talk I'm going to teach you the main 7 ways that it does.

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ABOUT JULIA:

Julia Kristina, MA, is a speaker, teacher, master therapist and mental wealth coach who helps smart, highly sensitive, heart centred humans get past anxiety, stress, and self-doubt so they can have better: Better relationships, a better life and feel better about themselves.

Through her membership program, The Shift Society, she helps people identify their deep rooted thoughts and beliefs that are keeping them stuck and struggling, and then teaches them how to take charge of their minds and emotions so they can thrive in all areas of their lives.

Julia’s expertise has been featured in Inc magazine, Psych Central, Mind Body Green and numerous other publications, podcasts and television outlets. She has also given talks in front of audiences of hundreds on stages across North America. Videos on her YouTube channel have been watched more than 15 million times and she has built a community of over 375,000 people across social media platforms. When she’s not helping her clients and students increase their emotional intelligence and mental strength, she’s out on some kind of adventure with her three children in Vancouver, Canada.

[lesliengo]

I struggle with perfectionism and irritation wheni don't feel satisfaction, most notably on personal projects.

My father has a fragile ego. Getting defensive, talking badly about people, being judgemental, not asserting himself regarding wants and needs, blaming others, refusing to listen to reasons, feeling jealous of what others have going on, etc. No wonder why I have a hard time opening up to him and having important conversations.

Now that I am aware, I can start to do the work and build a secure sense of self.

[cherylchewilliams]

I have 2 things to work on plus the only thing I'm jealous of is that others have a closeness to their families than I am .

[evanamiart]

My ego will always be fragile especially with comparisons.

I find I need to take these therapy videos every day for life as when it's midnight, my brain automatically hits the "reset" button, and all the advice I get automatically disappears and I need to commit to getting self help everyday for life just for my brain to "function normally" as Im autistic

[calvinjames]

I have a very fragile ego and sometimes it really sucks. I want to be a better person. But a part of me feels like I will always revert back to my egotistical tendencies. I don’t know if I will ever fully change tbh. But I will try. Thank you for this video.

[genocanabicea]

The ego can learn to be spiritual like. While using it to maintain control. It manifests a self-righteous or bragging self.

[audreyc]

I always think others look down on me and think I am incompetent. I cannot get that feeling out of my head.

[lesliengo]

I struggle with perfectionism and irritation when I don't feel satisfaction, most notably on personal projects.

My dad has a fragile ego. Talking badly about others, not asserting his wants and needs, blaming others, feeling jealous of what others have, refusing to listen and accept reasoning, getting defensive, etc. No wonder why I have a hard time having important conversations with him.

Now that I am aware, I can start to do the work and build a secure sense of self.

[pennPi]

Watching this is a great reminder of how far I’ve come. I used to be so indecisive, constantly needing validation from family and friends in making important decisions. It is so freeing to be able to trust myself. Your videos are very helpful in gaining more self awareness.

[AndyMangele]

Life is a fascinating journey - I was born with a very fragile ego, now that I'm 60 it is silky smooth.

[Deanelon]

I definitely have a fragile ego. I see the growth but it’s there. You mentioned injustice is a thing. For certain. Childhood trauma. Thank you for sharing.
My search was for how to calm the ego. Ego death. This is one of the videos that came up.

[morganmayfair]

I was taught to think of it as ego is true self and altered ego is more defensive and offensive

[chrisdigitalartist]

Thanks, Julia, for today’s YouTube video 7 Signs that Your Ego Is Too Fragile.

I think today’s topic on Ego is an important one. And yes, I have for sure struggled with every one of these signs listed here. However, some I have made major improvements over and some still need work. I know I still need to work on my own decision making.

One thing I also noticed was during and after our mindfulness challenge in The Shift Society, I think it has helped me with my self-trust. I trust myself that I can do things.

I am curious - will you be putting your videos out on Fridays now or is that because of it being a holiday?

Here are my notes:

*Ego is like a ball inside of us, it can be sticky and things like defensiveness can get stuck or be smooth and things will just slide off from it.

*A big ego is an overinflated ego, it is not a secure ego, it is overcompensation for a more fragile or insecure ego.

*Ego is just a sense of self. Who we are inside. What we think about ourselves.

*Having a healthy ego doesn't mean a person thinks about themselves. That is an insecure ego.

*A truly secure ego creates space for themselves and for others in an open, curious, compassionate and loving way.

7 Signs of a Fragile Ego:

1. When someone is defensive.

2. When someone has a lot of perfectionistic tendencies. (self-protection)

3. When someone is constantly craving attention.

4. When someone is deferring decisions.

5. When we or someone we really know is talking negatively about other people.

6. Talking negatively about ourselves.

7. All that comparison

[khaartoumsings]

I love that critique on perfectionism, thank you. I have just been reading 'Travels With Charley' by John Steinbeck. He was feeling overly academic so went 'back to his people' - the working class Americans in small towns. In the book he observes men and women going to hair dressers to be 'styled'..."They imagine that the styling they get done isn't just superficial, it goes deep into their being and perfects them." I was looking the other day at men who get those very precise hair cuts that have sharp beautiful lines and then the white teeth et al...It is the same as Steinbeck's idea of the inside being a mess and thinking that landscaping the outside is a whole body experience. Your comment helped to consolidate all of those. Thank you ; )

[OneLovefromOregon]

I have cPTSD and have been working with a counselor for about 6 years. Just recently I realized that my ego is fragile, and I can really.get stuck sometimes. I'm glad that I've been made aware of this so that I can work in it. This has been a difficult road. ❤ I know I have to do the work and it doesn't end at the end of the counseling session. It takes daily effort (which I remind myself daily 😂)

[thenebraskan]

Happy New Year Julia to you and your family🎉 💥🌈. Thanks so much for the great advice and video!

[animoaudio]

I learned a lot about myself in this video. Thank you

[mirianalogara]

I have family a memeber that has that problem. In the beginning, i thought i was judging her, but after this video confirm that it is an issue for her. We all have different struggles.

[Marekcatholic]

I have a lot of things to work on. Thank you, Julia! great video and topic. :)

[bethanyg]

So glad you’re videos are popping back on my feed. They disappeared for a while and l missed it, but after looking you back up and listening to a few, they are back on the feed.

[lttlod]

I've always been happy for my friends when they upgrade their lives. I see it as something to aspire to and a goal for myself! When I started upgrading my life in several ways I had "friends" who would make snide remarks and put downs. I had only ever been supportive of them and to not receive that back told me that I needed to let them go....there were many more reasons too. Best decision I ever made and my up-leveling has continued : )