Should it really be “if he wanted to he would”?…#shorts

[BourbonWriter]

Exactly. If I need something I tell my husband what I need. I also praise him and acknowledge his needs. ❤❤❤

[waltermh]

I am fine with your line. My girl in Vietnam could communicate and didn't expect me to read her mind. But she took such good care of me that I really wanted to do everything to take care of her.

[robynmorita]

Also, don’t blend your wants into some 25 layer riddle that he needs a decoder ring to decipher. Don’t say, “We should get new towels” and be upset that he didn’t get that you wanted to go out for dinner! 🤦‍♀️ a lot of these girls play games to keep their boyfriends on their toes, but in most cases, straight to the point is best.

[Marcin-vnkk]

Often my colleagues are irritated that I need direct communication about most stuff. How the heck I would know what a woman want?

[ISoloYouRelax]

We have a generalized idea how to treat other people. If you want a certain kind of treatment you have to spell it out for us. Some women like the small gestures we do and others don't so we don't assume anymore.

[viiiRA_]

I'm very much a "if I wanted to, I would" man but I can still be oblivious, get it wrong, or be too anxious(regarding early dating); so I still want a "If he knows, he should" woman. It's not hard to say, "Can you?" or "I want." Especially early in the relationship! You're still getting to know each other. Let us/him learn what you like..

[elizabethbottroff]

Don't expect him to be a mind reader.
Don't place your request amongst multiple paragraphs of other words that he might not filter through.
Don't state requests when his attention is distracted.

Following these common sense guidelines will improve most communication effectiveness by at least 85% anecdotally. Add in respect, gratitude, and a recognition of post job exhaustion will take care of another 10%. That remaining 5% might get the bombastic side eyes if you are being ridiculous. 😂

[kenbrown]

and once you've dispatched him to do something, remember what it was you asked him to do. if you change your mind and don't tell him, that's not his fault.

[ChaosNe]

Not correct. Thanks for standing up for men in toxic relationships, but just because someone, even someone I love, wants something, does nit mean I will make it possible.
I have my own problems, circumstances and priorities. The point is: it's not "if you don't just expect it from your partner, but tell them, you will get what you want", but "if it is at all possible for someone else to give you what you want, you still have to communicate your wish/need and accept if that other individual can't provide it. Your wants are not the be all end all of the relationship and you got to stop seeing it like that."

[ventithedrunk]

Communication is key yet they dont talk.
Communication is keu yet they dont listen.

[txmc]

Agreed. "If he wanted to he would" is just too simplistic to apply here. Whatever it is, we probably do want to because we want her to be happy, but we may not know what it is if she doesn't speak up. Communication is absolutely necessary if things are going to work.

[Dave_Wave]

Three magic words, "Hunny, will you...". Frickin magic. Those three words will get anything done for you...

[AncientTrogloxene]

Communication is unbelievably helpful.

The first level of communication of I want/need you to do something seems like a request and rather transactional. The goal can be stated clearly and context provided.

What are the requests communicating at a deeper level? A woman has a whim, which gets gets told/signalled/hinted to her guy who is then expected to put money, his time, and his energy creating the desired reality forthwith. There is no mention of delays to his goals, projects, or fitness to achieve that desired goal, or having to just forgo any goals in his own life?

How is the woman's to-do list for the guy anything other than a manifestation of disrespect?
Is the cliché "happy wife, happy life" another societally acceptable statement of disrespect for the man while setting expectations for the woman?
Does the statement "behind every successful man is a woman" foster disrespect while incubating manipulation by women?

[nerored]

Thing is many of them will say "but he should know". No matter how many times we say we aren't mind readers, so many of them expect us to be.

[jasonland]

For people who say a hundred thousand words a day women are bad at communicating

[douglasclark]

Exactly! My ex wife both assumed I could read her mind and that she could read mine. Wrong on both almost every time but she never changed no matter how many times she got it wrong.

[Jloudee]

I am blessed because I have a man in my life right now for the first time… That wants to, and does… And I communicate, when I need some thing from him, and he’s on it. I hope men find their voice, and I hope everyone finds love. My experience with them and I’ve dated is that they were so broken and never spoke for themselves. I encourage them to speak and have emotions.

[williamfriar]

1) People take care of what they LOVE.
2) Smart people never discard a GOOD thing.

[Billy-ppvt]

I don't understand why women alot of have to be so criptic sometimes. Why not just speak your mind?

[gregorycroff]

I was listening to a Christian Family relation ministry earlier this week. They gave the same advice. Men can be very face value. If they ask to help, but you say you got it covered, but really want their help, you just want them to read your mind, don't expect them to pick up on it. Don't be afraid to ask. Also, praise them when they to sense a need & act on it. Conversely, Men can be the same way when they are asked if they need help & say no when they really mean yes. Honest communication really helps.