Am I the A-hole for saying yes to my boyfriend’s public proposal and then turning him down? 😳💍

[Emmie.the.Kraken]

NTA. You told him how you felt before, he disregarded it, and now he has to face the consequences.

[mkwhite]

The only time someone should propose is when both parties agree they are ready and want to get married in the near future. He shouldn’t have sprung it on you and the fallout is on him.

[Bubbaable]

OP won't be stuck anymore after he calls off the relationship.

[dw]

He shouldn’t have proposed after you told him you don’t want to be married right now, and in public where the pressure to say yes was more intense. That was wrong.

However, if after 3 years, he’s clear on wanting to be married and you’re clear on not wanting to be married yet, perhaps it’s time to re-evaluate the relationship. You both have different mindsets that could align better with others who want the same thing. Decide before one of you gets resentful. Don’t let another 3 years go by without deciding what you both want, even if it means it’s best to go your separate ways. Time goes by way too fast to waste it.

[Sergioforlife]

OK, if the guy is not able to make everybody believe that they’re not actually engaged just say we’re postponing the wedding for like a few years until if you guys do wanna marry and yes it’s the dude’s fault not OP’s fault

[kattycats]

Honestly? YTA you gave him hope
You could've just said no and added the reason for it. Who cares what everybody else says or thinks?
-Will you marry me?
+I really love you and you know that, but we talked about this and I don't really feel 100% ready for that. I'm sorry.

Extra points, if he gets mad then you know he doesn't really care for you or your feelings. If he accepts it and apologizes, then you know he is a keeper

[Slasher]

You should know that far in if he’s the one, I mean 3 years?? How long do you expect him to wait.

[Whtupbtrcp]

Been together for 3 years and things are great but your not ready so let's do the math if you have a long engagement like 1-2 years then set a date for a year after that you've been together...it would be like 5-6 years...im thinking if 3 years isn't long enough don't string him along, he might want to have a family while he's young.

[MattheoRiddle]

Just say you want a long engagement and then see

[Enter-user-fu]

You got his hopes up and then told him no which isn’t really fair but honestly I don’t think either of you are the ah because you made it clear you weren’t ready for marriage

[Dresstoimpress-qr]

Tbh im in the middle cus the boyfriend wanted to marry you but u didnt but he purposed u anyway but u said u
Yea and turned him down now it will be more harder for him to tell everyone that u said no it might leave a big scar and someone will bring up*remember the time u got yes when u purpose and then she turned you down in private*

[CatCcat.]

You accepted the proposal. Then you can think about delaying the marriage part. Don't have to do it right away. Most guys won't even propose even after dating for 5-10 years. The guy was serious about you. But if it doesn't work out, break off the engagement.

[BMac-qbxo]

probably, put his shoes on. how does it fell?