Unhealthy Parents Use Fear As A Weapon #complextrauma

*****
In a complex trauma household, if a parent is not getting the respect they think they deserve, they often use fear as a tool or weapon to force their children to respect them and to control them. In a healthy home, children most often respect their parents as a result of proper care and nurturing parenting.

*****

Become a Member!

Understand the Development of Complex Trauma in Your Life
Online Course: 12 Basic Needs

Discover how Addictions are Formed and Find Healthy Ways to Cope
Online Course: Addictions + Complex Trauma

Learn How to Parent Yourself and a Child with Complex Trauma
Online Course: Parent Bootcamp

Ready to Dig Deep and Learn Tools to Recover From the Negative Effects of Complex Trauma?
Online Course: LIFT Online Learning

[laurar]

Yep, and now that I'm not taking it anymore she is threatening me with my inheritance.

I'll choose sanity and a healthy life over blood money any day!

[triplejmom]

But at some point that fear of the parents turns to hate & rebellion even in the most complacent of children 😢

[charlottetaylor]

It's not respect through fear. It's obedience and Stockholm syndrome through fear.

[lamarkagwe]

Fear can only control people for so long until they start to recent you and rebel.

[newmoonenergetics]

Wow, after all the years of work on this, his insight brought deep grief up from my heart. So afraid of being hurt again and again for years and years. Every time I get triggered I use EFT tapping and it really helps. EMDR also.

[sarahjmount]

Absolutely. There’s a big difference between say…having a healthy, respectful fear (because he provides a safe place for you to grow among many other things) of your father’s consequences if he ever finds out you chose to do something like drugs for example…so, you’re offered them but turn them down. If you have a fear of your father because he threatens and has done, and still does - things like kick you out of your house, physically beat you, emotionally & mentally torture you, etc. Then guess what choice is going to look better? The drugs. That kind of fear causes you so much emotional pain and shame that you are just looking for a way to get away from yourself. The bad father is going to abuse you, anyway, so what’s the difference if you do the drugs or not? There’s a million other things that could pertain to. That may not be the best example but it was the best one I could think of right now. Lol. Thanks, Tim. You’re on point, again.

[dapsolita]

Mirrors current society at large. This is why it's breaking😢

[sherlogic]

I feel like this fear is what creates anxiety. You know you will be hit that day. But what causes you to deserve that trauma is unpredictable by a child.

[PsyD]

So true....as kids you are not able to see through it.

[abbykoop]

I haven't seen my mom since 1995 and I'm still afraid of her

[cdnbcn]

That's my ex's go to. "You don't want to make me mad" or "do what I say, or you'll make me snap"

[caroleminke]

Abandonment trauma causes CPTSD 💔 it’s a health care crisis ❤️‍🩹 we need to focus on healing us ♥️

[kimmieC]

I love love love hearing and understanding Pastor Tim's sharesies ❤️

[saltyshannonigans]

When I go to my Moms house or spend time with my Mom I don't feel anxious. I know I am loved and safe. When I would go to my Dads, who is a Narcassist, I would stress sweat, heart palpitations, dizzy, short of breath, migraines, stomach issues.
I haven't seen my Dad in years. We text 2 or times a year. My stepmom (wife#7) messages me, but I keep my distance.
You have to for your health and peace of mind.

[despoinachatzaga]

My parents unfortunately used fear. I am 54 and still deal with the consequences of such an upbringing

[MarciaHertz-qj]

My parents have been dead for years & I still hate them.

[BikeLife]

There isn't any respect, there's just fear. If I didn't do something well, I knew the consequences ranged from not getting dessert after dinner, to bring hit with a 2x4, or whatever else my mother could grab in that moment. I really never respected my parents. I was just always afraid of being shamed and getting hit. As an adult, I finally had enough, tried a few times to reconcile, and finally cut them off because they would not acknowledge any of the hurt they caused, and were not willing to change their behavior, especially with my kids (who my mom had threatened to hit as well).

[erik_]

I was working in the morning. Someone asked me, hey, there is a cremation this morning with a person who has the same name as yours. I said. Yes, that's my father.

[InsideOut-vw]

Like the parents, or other adults, who fear their own children and others children through God. The constant threat that God will punish them if they don't do what others ask. Even blackmailing children as in psychological and physical abuse.

[m.f.richardson]

Fear controlled Me for years.
I thought I was safe.
Weird I know