Grief on another level, the loss of a child | Wendy Shannon | TEDxEnniskillen

[wendyshannon]

To all who have listened to this talk, I am truly grateful and I hope and pray it is helping in your grief journey. I continue to build my life around my grief, and there are still many ‘horrible days’. Love and gratitude to you all. 💜

[sharitaward]

I lost my one and only son on 2/2/2022. I am in a never-ending nightmare. Every time I close my eyes, I see his face looking at me. I woke that day and went through our normal 6 routine, but he had been dead for two hours. I went from pleading with God to being numb. I am inconsolable. Sometimes, I want to just die. I am holding by a thread and leaning on God, and it is taking all the little strength I have.

[lawr]

My 9 year old son died 10 days ago. Also of multi organ failure from sepsis. A&E missed his burst appendix when I first took him in. I'm struggling to accept it's happened and angry they didn't pick it up. I can't stop thinking of my beautiful boy and why this happened. He was so special.

[angellanabb]

I feel this, I lost my oldest Son 10 months ago and it still feels like yesterday. I still can't explain this to anyone because not just everyone has lived this, I don't want everyone to want anyone to ever have to feel what I feel. I miss my Son. I miss his voice . His birthday will be next month and it's excruciating to know this. I feel your Pain and your Sadness.

[lilelbeingbeing]

I lost my only son 3 years ago and 18 days ago, he was there is no comfort, it has been so bad I love him so much. In the path I have found amazing parent with the same pain. There was a moment when I realized the impact on other people: I lost my son, but my parents lost a grandson and in somehow a daughter, my nice a cousin, my sisters a everything changed since that day. Only God knows how and why I am still here.

[radiantbird]

I lost my only son, 23, to shallow water drowning caused by him doing breathing exercises and becoming unconscious while in the pool. I was in the pool with him and I carried him out a gave him cpr while I called paramedics. We never got one vital sign from him. He was my life and reason for being. We have never been apart since he was born. This loss is beyond anything I could ever imagine.

[Raemuva]

I lost my precious 3 year old almost 3 weeks ago due to cardiac arrest. I can’t believe I have to live without her. Nothing seems real anymore

[amandaleigh]

I am 3 weeks into the sudden loss of my daughter at 20. This is immense, but I'm expected to be back hospice nursing and functioning like my heart didn't just get ripped in two. I needed this acknowledgement and hope. When I think I can't do it another day, I will pull from somewhere and do it for Olivia.

[edennegash]

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Thank you for your beautiful talk about the loss of your precious daughter. I am so sorry for your loss. Your words give me hope that I will be okay. I lost my son on June 11 to the same situation your daughter faced. My son had neon syndrome (cardiomyopathy).

My son was 25 years old and was so sweet, so gentle, and so silly, always making people laugh. He was the biggest part of my life—my best friend. He has a brother and a little sister. He was my whole world. He also had a big family with an auntie, uncle, niece, nephew, and extended family who loved him dearly. We lost him but will never forget him.

I can't stop crying and have been deeply depressed. Everyone tells me to stop crying and keep going, that I will be fine, but my heart is empty. I hate being at home and going out. I'm avoiding everyone and everything. My world feels shattered.

Thank you for your talk. I know how you feel; I am in your shoes. Please help me understand how to go on day to day on this journey without my son, even though I have two other children who still need me. How can I keep going for them?

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I hope this helps express your feelings clearly and seek the support you need.

[casey]

Thank you Wendy for sharing, I lost my only child 3 weeks ago to a drug overdose.The pain at times is unbearable. I’m treating myself gently. My daughter was beautiful, smart, compassionate and funny. My sweet girl is beside me cheering me on to find happiness.

[willwilliams]

It seems like no one understands you when as mom you grieve for a child....my son dj died from covid June 30th, 2020. He was 39...I cried for him still he was a handsome, kindhearted, loving person, a musician. 🎶 The heartache is so real.

[gailwood]

My dear sweet son, at age 36, left Earth almost five years ago. He was the second child I have buried. His older sister died long ago, 18 months before he was born. I had to grieve for her in silence. That’s how things were in 1980. Nobody talked about death then, least of all my husband at the time. He told me I could cry for two weeks and then I must stop. My son is now with his sister in the Heavenly Cosmos, and my surviving 3 children are on their long painful journeys without their dear brother. Shortly after my son Crossed Over to the Heavenly Cosmos, I was diagnosed with a terminal disease. I’m in my 70th year. I was already disabled, and unable to walk, before the terminal diagnosis with a progressing neurodegenerative disease. I am actually glad that my journey on Earth is winding down, but still, the grief and sorrow has constantly consumed me, everyday since my son left Earth. And once again, there is no one to talk to because in this country where I live now, it’s extremely taboo to talk about death. Like the first time, I turned to books on grieving for solace and comfort. There’s much more acceptance now to write and talk about Near Death Experiences, about visitations from loved ones, signs from loved ones, and so on. And so many wonderful new authors are writing about this part of the Earthly Journey. But—this time there are also wonderful, warm, sincere, honest-from-the-heart presentations on the internet, like yours, my dear friend, for which I am forever grateful. Thank you❤dearly. It’s not easier because I had already lost a child. It’s worse. I only now feel like I’m starting to accept what happened. I have cried everyday for almost five years. I’m looking forward to the grand reunion in the Heavenly Cosmos. I have two children waiting for me, and my parents, a sister, my grandparents….

[krisdave]

I hear you. I understand you. I am on a journey of tragic grief as well. Thank you for helping me to feel “normal” when everyone seems to think this is a psychiatric condition. Sending you healing, love and blessings.

[arizonahd]

What’s odd is how you can have good days, and then one day, you tragically fall into darkness. I am not sure if there is a way out of it. You just have to appreciate the good days.

[alin-]

I'm trying to make space for my grief, but also keep fighting for the great memories. It's a day to day thing. My heart goes out to anyone dealing w grief. I'm w you.

[ayashemonet]

I just lost my son 3 weeks ago. My only child. My everything. My love. How do I keep going when all I want to do is to go be with my son? Why? I ask God why? Why my son? What did I do? What did he do? He is love. Isn't love supposed to conquer all? Why not just take me instead? Why doesn't God just send him back to me? I just want to be with my son.

[erinmillar]

I needed to hear this. I’m approaching the one-year anniversary of my son’s death and I’ve been wondering if I’ve completely lost my mind. Migraines headaches, chronic fatigue, nausea all of it. Thank you for making me feel normal and understanding that what I am experiencing is normal.

[andybennett]

You are describing so much of what I have experienced, although my son was 21. I started working very quickly afterwards, helping others and staying busy, along with the brain fog/bad sleep/bad eating/putting on a brave face for others/'bad days'/reliving that day and the days & weeks before it. It has been 10 months and I have crashed and hit the wall. Part of me suspects the worst is yet to come and I'm afraid of the months and years to come. I miss him and he is never out of my thoughts. A wonderful big brother, exceptionally clever, empathic. It is like a train coming towards you and you have no choice at all. I have tried to honestly allow and make space for the bad days, so I can let the grieving happen. Thanks for your suggestion of having a framework for gentle self care. Thank you for your generous vulnerability.

[tribrowansis]

Also lost my 10 yr old son, 4 months ago. So painful until now, feels like I'm just living now in a nightmare that I want to wake up.

[annedennett]

Wendy, thank you for this. Lost my son 2 1/2 years ago and have gone through all that you spoke about. At times, I thought I was going crazy but it seems that everyone who loses a child goes through the same. I appreciate what you said and will incorporate it into my grief journey.