Scary Neanderthal Theory

A video challenging the s*xy neanderthal theory and proposing an alternative

Scary Neanderthal Theory Transcript:

Have you ever had that weird uncanny valley feeling about someone? Like the person you are looking at is human but at the same time just isnt? Like they are human enough to fool most people but if you looked close enough there is just enough in there cast doubt. Maybe they have a slightly longer face or cold black eyes, maybe their limbs are just a little too long. Well im here to tell you that, that person most was most likely not actually human or not a homo sapien that is. The theory im proposing today will be a counter to the popular sy neanderthaal theory proposed by professor sam o nella. In Sams video he explains that he believes that it was due to seual selection that neanderthaals interbred with humans eventually leading to extinction through interbreeding, this occurred because neanderthals being more muscular and having more masculine defining features would outcompete the homo sapien counterpart for females. And the defeated homo sapien males would copulate with the neanderthal women because they would take what they could get. I disagree with the idea of the sy neanderthal theory and propose the scary neanderthal theory, that is that the reason why we still to this day have the uncanny valley feeling is due to the fact that hidden among us reside neanderthals and I believe that it is only a matter of time before they launch a global species war against us. So first the uncanny valley what is it and why do we experience it? Well it’s a fear response that is designed to obviously protect us by having us react by either fighting or fleeing. Logically this means that humans who can evoke this emotion in us are to our instincts dangerous at the very least. Now why would the humanoid looking neanderthals evoke a fight or flight response in us humans? Well it turns out that neanderthals had the habit of eating other humans, which would logically mean they would be eating homo sapiens too if they were able to get their big meaty hands on them. Evidence that points towards this is that skeletons of neanderthals were found with bone damage indicative of teeth marks from other neanderthals as well as bone marrow extraction. This would put neanderthals one step above the homo sapiens on the food chain at the time so the uncanny valley response would be a prey response to a literal predator. They also had similar vocal chord structure to homo sapiens but lacked the intelligence required to form complex speech so they would be able to say words and speak but in a very basic infantile way, like how skinwalkers take the voice of their host to try and lure other humans to them. Now picture this you are just a normal cavemen chilling in your crib and out of nowhere a strange man is at the entrance of your cave, he keeps making human sounding noises that sound like speech but they have no rhyme or rhythm and they are directed at you. He slowly creeps towards you as you aren’t really able to do much until he is just infront of you. He has longer limbs and a larger face than you, you look into his cold black eyes and you see nothing, no light just darkness. While he is infront of you, you slowly begin to realise that he is not human or at least not the type that you are used to and as it slowly reaches out to grab you, you realise the grave mistake you made by not immediately running and hiding. Yea I kinda understand now why we have such an instinctual fear of things not quite human and its because it quite literally kept us alive. Now obviously if these neanderthals were going around eating us and making us terrified it would cast a lot of doubt on the sy neanderthal theory as the idea of being attracted to something you find dangerous and horrifying is doubtful to say the least however we do know that there was atleast some genetic admixture because we have around 0-3% neanderthal DNA in us today. Now there are probably many complex reasons as to why this could occur being that due to genetic diversity some may appear as not as scary or maybe some of the homo sapiens didn’t have the uncanny valley instinct thus leading to interbreeding maybe it was just cause some of our ancestors just got freaky like that, Sigh yea no im talking out my ae its definitely because of the thing behind me, like it probably was the reason 99% of the time, now this still doesn’t explain where they all went because if my scary neanderthal theory is true then that means they weren’t just bred out of the population and here comes the second part of my scary neanderthal theory and why I think that there may be a global homo sapien/neanderthal war on the horizon. Okay this part is very speculative and may sound like the ramblings of a paranoid schizophrenic but just bare with me ok.

[drlost]

An entire species of humanoid cannibals localized entirely behind this copper wall? May I see it?

[-m-tanmaynileshreddy]

There is another theory, which tells us that the Neanderthals were less sociable compared to sapiens, which allowed to sapiens to fight the Neanderthals in large groups which the Neanderthals failed to compete with.

[habibishapur]

"being attracted to something you find dangerous and horrifying is doubtful to say the least"
This is how we know stick is a guy and not a woman.

[rafaelrodrigues]

If you guys think scary and horny don't match, remember serial killer fangirls and monstergirl smashers.

[lpc]

Im am infertile from eating scented candles. The

[nofosho]

My inner anthropologist cannot tell if this is satire

[habibishapur]

last time i followed your advice, HR started building a case against me.

[jasonmarusic]

Stoic stick neanderthal role play asmr

[kevingluys]

Question it all you want but if you spend any time on Tumblr you will quickly discover that "Short, nonverbal, and cannibalistic" is a surprisingly high number of people's "Tall, dark, and handsome"

[spitfire]

Imagine a neanderthal oiled up and dancing to crazy frog

[skinwalker]

Uncanny Valley being explained by neanderthals and their habit of consuming long pork does make a lot of sense, it would also make a lot of sense as to why they went extinct outside of the trillions of neanderthals underground. I like that theory.

[BrekekeReal]

Pretty sure we have the uncanny valley because we are naturally afraid of catching diseases from corpses, and let's say, corpses' faces are not exactly human.

[Lenn]

the part with the grape ominously floating up was pretty clever

[timestorm]

You do realize that homo sapiens had around the same, if not more, fossils showing signs of cannibalism in homo sapiens.

The whole idea that neanderthals were brutish, brutal monsters was also just based in the bias that homo sapiens was just more evolved and therefore must be smarter, while in reality Neanderthals were just as compassionate as homo sapiens was.


Also humans suck as regular prey item

[Porasion]

They were not less intelligent than Homo Sapiens, just slightly less social. It's not that they couldn't understand nor try to produce complex language, rather they were just slightly more restricted in that compared to us, due to a physically more limited vocal range of vowels and possible consonants.

[Victor_Andrei]

"Lacked the intelligence for speech" [citation needed]

[houseplant]

1:02 so 4chan was right all along: the chads really exist

[verleptehenk]

I think the uncanny valley is just a response to mark corpses as dangerous.

[Lvestfold]

The thing about the rape theory is there are no remaining genetics from the Neanderthal Y chromosome. In fact, Neanderthals even lost their unique Y chromosome around the time they began interbreeding with H. sapiens and completely absorbing the H. sapiens Y chromosome. Which indicates that the hybridization was mostly, if not completely human males with Neanderthal females, to the point where the remaining population of Neanderthal in their last few thousand years, the males all descended from a handful of H. sapiens ancestors. So, if their males were raping our females it likely was not producing viable male offspring, but the reverse pairing was.

[Alessandro.Muccio]

Homo sapiens too ate human flesh, some remote tribes still do that. Also we are here today and they aren't, so we clearly were superior to them in the end