Why the Scapegoat Is the Cycle Breaker

We’re diving into something super important—the role of the scapegoat child, or as I like to call them, the cycle breaker. In this episode, I’m breaking down some deep insights from my own experiences and my work with Truth Room, my supportive, tight-knit membership group.

We’re going to talk about the heavy stuff—family dynamics, growing up with a narcissistic parent, and how these experiences shape us. But it’s not all gloom; we’ll also focus on how to reclaim your self-worth and authenticity. I'll share why being the scapegoat often means you're the one who can break toxic cycles and find your true calling.

If you’re a highly sensitive person, empath, or someone dealing with family drama, this episode is definitely for you. Expect some raw, heartfelt advice, personal stories, and practical tips to help you on your healing journey. So grab a cup of tea, get comfy, and let’s get real together. Tune in, and let’s start turning those struggles into strengths!

👉 And don't forget to follow me on Instagram @candacevandell and Facebook @Candacekroslakvandell for daily inspiration and updates.

Let’s keep healing together!

#ScapegoatChild
#familyhealing
#breakthecycle
#ToxicFamilyDynamics
#empathsupport

[ChristianMichelleKeyJohnston]

I’m forever thankful for finding your channel Your messages have given me my truth this channel is my go to for my truth and redirects me when I find myself in the shit zone

[muma]

"it's easier to look at the truth (of them) because there is nothing to lose"

[BeLLe-suzt]

I see my truth
this is the truth
stand in truth
Thank you for speaking truth 💯.

[seaglass]

I loved this. Could you speak to how this plays out for an only child? I’ve felt simultaneously scapegoat and golden child. I have yet to come across IFS or spiritual discussions that acknowledge the only child experience. What you said about switching roles of siblings is the closest yet sense there’s more to unearth for those of us solo within the immediate family. If you’re aware of resources that do, I’d be equally delighted to reference any you might share. Thank you!

Thank you also for inspiring courage to leave the systems that won’t validate us.

[nicolehayes]

Absolutely 💯 I’m the black sheep of the toxic family system I was born into and until about 2 years ago, Idk what I was even dealing with. However, I am now the proud black sheep because, hell no do I want to be anything like any of those people! No wonder why I felt like I never fit in and I was always the problem…I did break the cycle tho and pushed them all out of my life and one left to go. My narc mother! For yrs I knew something was wrong with her but I didn’t know what it was and it took me almost 5 decades to figure her out! My friend sent me a quote once, “sometimes the black sheep is the only one telling the truth.” She couldn’t have been more correct! Thank you for helping people like me understand what is really happening to them and that it’s not their fault. It was never their fault ❤️✌️🙏

[Seasofsophia]

Roles can be switched. My narcissistic mother stopped scape goating me when my highly sensitive truth seeing second child was born. She has tried relentlessly to scape goat him.

[muma]

just going by the title.. yes the scapegoat smashes the horrible abusive cycle in slow motion, one piece at a time

[muma]

that's right, many people stay in their role that is not their authentic self, however scapegoats realize sooner or later that this is a role assigned to them that they do not accept and are able to break out of that role (push back on that projection, or throw it back), they do not accept it, we return to sender that box (pun intended). Scapegoats know it's not who they are. That's when people who assign others as scapegoats start to decline. They don't seem to be able to construct alternative methods of coping with their shxt.. oops, their issues.. Treating others as scapegoats is pure projection

[Lyrielonwind]

If you are curious about the role of the scapegoats in all societies there are videos on YouTube about the work and books of the French anthropologist and philosopher Rene Girard.
Thanks

[muma]

would you say in your experience and opinion that most scapegoats are INFJ ?

[muma]

unhealed empath ? No-one is fully healed, it's probably not the correct term for what you mean. We don't need to fuss over "being healed", rather, we need to understand, choose well, etc, etc