Why Are Complex Trauma and Shame So Connected?

Shame is one of the most damaging characteristics of complex trauma and acts as the root cause behind so many other negative issues people face. Tim goes over the basics of shame in this clip from his Characteristics of Complex Trauma Series.

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#shame #selfidentity #complextrauma #mentalhealthrecovery #healingjourney #cptsd #childhoodtrauma #characteristicsofcomplextrauma

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DISCLAIMER:

Tim Fletcher is not a doctor or licensed therapist; he is a counsellor in Canada and has worked with people with Complex Trauma and Addiction for decades. Tim’s videos are for informational purposes only to provide understanding, learning, and awareness about complex trauma. No information published here can replace professional evaluation, diagnosis, or treatment.

[passionfruitprincess]

LOVE your work Doc. I learnt that SHAME is when you DO something wrong. And TOXIC SHAME is when you ARE something wrong.

[joebloggs]

Tim=gift to humanity. Explains things so well and so patiently.

[scratchoriginalsdh]

“If I’m authentic, I will be rejected.” Bang on. This has carried through to every Christian community I have ever been in.

[Malaya]

As a recovering Catholic and CPTSD survivor, I thank you Tim for identifying the veils and lenses of shame and guilt from my eyes so I can see a little clearly.

[_x]

As I listen to this, at 61, there was NOTHING and I mean NOTHING I could do to change their core belief of me when I was a child. I learned very early, I had no value to them, I was a burden, and the stress to me and my core knowing that, led to all kinds of acting out behavior which further reinforced me being a problem. As I got older, working harder and harder to be smarter and smarter, make more and more money, keep out of trouble, always be respectful of them, etc etc. DID NOTHING to change their acceptance of me. I started to hit a wall and realize way into my 30s, this is a lost cause. There is no love, only manipulation to keep them feeling normal as parents and I was really really sick of them. One is gone now, the other mentally gone, but at 61, I'm still here trying to clean up and find love before I croak. WTF? Which is like a victim response, and I do not want to be a victim. I still have a fight response inside saying, FU I'm not going to let them have the last feelings in my life. I will.

[MissiJade]

THIS IS MAJOR, HUGE!, I have listened to the shame section of your teachings for over a year and i finally get it. I mean I understood it, but I personally have applied it to my life, and living in shame and Complex PTSD has completely destroyed my life but now I have so much hope. This is one of the biggest breakthroughs in my life. I’m crying tears of relief. Like I have cracked my own code of why I have been suffering. Thank you 🙏 this should be taught to every single person in the world. As a young child I didn’t do anything wrong. Wow! Mind blown 🤯 but what was done to me is something that I have never shared. In addition to the loss, neglect, abandonment. I was on my own at age 15 after the loss of my beautiful Mum. I thought her cancer was my fault. Thank you for opening my mind to the absolute truth. This is such a fabulous and supportive community. I’m trying to register for your course but I’m based in Australia and long story but thank you 🙏 ❤❤❤❤❤

[StevenJGMedia]

Thank you. I have had shame alter my life but I am taking my power back.

[thyhlyname]

if you are bad you are chastised and if you become amazing you get oooh so you think you are better then me …. So i just fail because there is no winning and here i am taking your course because i am failing at life..

[iamjustsaying]

I'm choking back tears. It's as if you are talking directly to me. But how do I convince myself that I'm not unlovable, that this deep shame isn't reasonable?

[micoamazonico]

The best is yet to come. My parents did what they could with what they had themselves, without having access to that knowledge back then, where developmental psychology was still primitive. Now we have acces to trustful messengers such as Tim, so we are able not to repeat our family mistakes. And all of us now start to be aware of these concepts as if it was self-evident common sense. So we will be better to ourselves, thus better to the world we create. Thank you Tim, and thank to all you, good willing people, who decided to get the best out of yourselves, at your own pace towards self-love. Blessings

[Conscious]

Thank you so much for this. For sure this is the most tragic (and also why childhood abuse /neglect /trauma it's so evil.)

[Hags]

Even as a kid It always hurt me being inauthentic... I still struggle to be authentic but I am more authentic now in my relationships.

[wilmamachado]

Thank you, and this is so true. And shame is horrible, hard to break.🙌🔥

[Junkitup]

wow, your ability to clearly articulate is inspiring, , , thz

[joellynshort]

Thank you Tim, this is an excellent overview/reminder. I know I feel shame, I understand why, but since infancy i have no idea what is the real me. Working on that with my therapist of 8 years.

[alicephoenixpoetryjournal]

Thanks! Now I can talk this more clear in therapy tomorrow. Wish I could equal knowing these things with actually feeling them so I don't have to deal with these hellish narratives. God bless those who don't have to deal with these things, happy souls

[teacup-qn]

I love your voice.
I love your face & your presence.
Thank you.

[Lyrielonwind]

Tim is best explaining complex trauma and especially shame. I agree you can't heal until you resolve your core shame and, once again, thanks for the Spanish transcription. I have sent the video to an ACA group.
Have a great day ❤

[mpozad]

Hope to be here for the future lectures.
Believing in the capacity of human beings to love changed me.

[urthshu]

First part was right on. Not so much hiding but taking it in and taking stuff out on yourself in consequence