Inside the Fragile Ego of a Covert Narcissist

[JohnMartin-gguj]

Its so irritating to have to watch videos, read articles, and learn about these creatures constantly, just to keep some level of sanity or sense of reality. Tomorrow we wake up and do it all again.

[Lesminster]

Grandiose has the ability to get admiration from people around, covert doesn't have that ability. What they have in common is that both cannot get that from within.

[motivatedconnect]

I’ve met many covert ones and seen many in my HR work, most of them were able to convince others as long as they had a targeted scapegoat to compensate for their incompetence by way of delegation, mimicry and to deflect/project onto.

[audbod]

Yes 💯....I was horrified to discover that my meek, fragile, shy, opinionless, void of ego ex, was the most grandiose controlling monster who thought he was better than everyone else. I thought he was just quiet, almost boring....nooo, he just stayed quiet, as he'd learned that to voice how he really thought, would spoil his chance of supply and devious goals. Although there were glimpses of it, especially when drunk. He became a completely different person.
A twisted circus that I'm very grateful to be free of 🙏

[dollynina]

What I've observed is that narcs, both covert and overt, will often fall for other people's delusions of self too.
Or at the very least, not view that person as a potential target for supply. Because it's not interesting when someone has their *own* delusions rubbing up against theirs.
When I start to pick up signs that an aquaintance is a narcissist, I briefly inflate my own ego when I'm around them. Start bragging, walking and talking arrogantly, acting completely unbothered by *their* delusions of grandeur. And it actually wards them off. The only thing a narc can't stand is a mirror in front of themselves.
It's fascinating really.
HOWEVER, this only works if they haven't already designated you as supply. If the abuse has already started, its much harder to turn the tables around and put yourself in the headspace to be able to act confidently/arrogantly, and I would just leave the situation as QUICKLY as possible.
But it still works to show them you're not scared. Most of the thrill for narcs comes out of them watching you feel scared/affected by them. In other words, YOUR reaction to THEIR delusion.

[celesteinman]

The curtains been lifted. My husband all ready insulted me and I wasn't even up 10 minutes.. I love crying with my first cup of coffee

[clairexxx]

Makes perfect sense how you explain it all.

[alexkuieh]

has the same delusion of grandeur. has the same delusion of grandeur. has the same delusion of grandeur. delusion of gradneur.

[Xianne]

I think of the covert narcissists as little puppies that won't leave you alone, and grovel at your feet whimpering, "Please! Please! Keep petting me! Please tell me I'm a great doggie!"
They won't bite you, but they kill you with kindness and try to make you feel guilty if you don't constantly validate them.

[Richard-nwg]

I think the covert doesn't fail to convince people because they don't really try to. They just have to convince themselves. But other people are just there to feed their egos that only the Narcissist knows about

[tamihunt]

All of my husband's friends were low life's of society..this boosted him up, and they actually looked up to him

[teresadvorak]

Which one is it that is jealous & competitive. Always has to one up ya thinks they are better than you & isn't happy for any of your acheivments or success? Which one is this called? Judges & punishes you for there insecurities. Makes up things about ya so they can punish you. Is it the covert?😮

[truffauttruffaut]

My covert Narc X certainly convinced me.😢

[jinxypop]

Thank you for the distinction. It’s an odd position to be in when you know how truly awful they are but so many think they’re amazing.

[bobbivaneman]

Great information, Richard. Thank you. God bless you. ✝️

[vhayashi]

One of the best descriptions between the 2!

[BobbyRainwater-wo]

My brother-in law was grandiose. Really annoying. But...he went covert many times. A real picnic.

[CrazyEightyEights]

Stunning. You describe my sire, sibling, and nemesis.

[sallymckee]

I’m on to something here…. I think I discovered why a “covert” narcissist is worse, does more damage. They can abuse you 24/7! With hello, with flowers, right in front of others! RICHARD, savior of my life, what you think!!?

[SeekingToServe]

I know an extremely successful covert. Must be an anomaly. It's so sad that people really waste their potential on conning, both others and themselves. Truly tragic.