The Truth Behind WHY They Won’t Commit to You

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Have you fallen for a guy who says he’s “confused”? He really likes you and spends time with you, but isn’t sure if he’s ready for a real commitment yet? If you’ve experienced this, you will know that this type of hedging can leave you INCREDIBLY confused. You feel you have something special with him, yet he’s still holding back. You know you can’t live in limbo forever, but you also can’t let go.

When you’re in this situation and you really like someone, their excuse can almost become a romantic challenge as you try to figure out how you can still be together in spite of any obstacles. In today’s video, I show you how to navigate this confusing situation and take back control of the situation.

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▼ Chapters ▼
0:00 – 0:52 – The Challenge
0:52 – 2:21 – Top Excuses
2:21 – 3:23 – The “Confused Guy”
3:23 – 4:48 – An Open Loop
4:48 – 6:26 – Applying Occam’s Razor
6:26 – 7:39 – Leaving the Door Open
7:39 – 8:40 – We Want It to Be True
8:40 – 9:21 – The Path of Least Resistance
9:21 – 10:08 – Confusion Is Closure
10:08 – 10:53 – You Have Your Reasons, but I Have My Reality
10:53 – 12:12 – The 30-Day Confidence Challenge

[lg]

It’s honestly quite simple. If a man wants a serious relationship with a woman, she wouldn’t need to be watching relationship coaches online to figure out whether or not he wants more from her. You will know when you have found a man who really wants you because he will not confuse you. He will make his intentions clear.

[gigibtsurvivor]

Confusion and intermittent reinforcement are red flags for me. 🚩🚩🚩🚩

[fridmanlena]

There is a great saying in Hebrew "if there is a doubt then there's no doubt". When someone loves you and wants to be with you, you will have no doubt about that.

[tenacious]

"If someone really likes you, you know! But when they don't, then there's confusion." ~Judge Faith Jenkins

[Autumn-jzbw]

Thanks, Matthew! I really think 99% of the time if someone really likes you and values you they will commit and invest. Saying they are just not ready, but they like you is more like saying "I don't like you that much, but I like you a little and you're good for me at this time."

You become ready for someone you really want in your life.

[sigreddasparks]

I love this! So so much! "Confusion is closure." That's so helpful for me cuz like a lot of people I've been in these situations recently where people didn't want to commit or have a full fledged relationship and used those excuses. This will be something I carry with me to remind myself, hey confusion is closure. They're confusing me about what they feel for me and what they want to do about it. That's all I need to know and can gracefully make my exit lol. Thank you Matthew!!

[FreePalestine-bx]

Hit the nail on the head. Creating confusion whilst keeping the door open! Yessss.

In this scenario I've learnt (having watched a lot of law of attraction dating gurus) that when someone is doubting your suitability or pulling away due to their own doubts, or lack of interest or whatever, the best option is to make the option to leave super easy. So offer them an out. So in essence having an abundance mindset and removing yourself in an assertive manner. Like be understanding, no convincing or reasoning. Just say I don't wish to be in a situation with someone who isn't sure. Wish you all the best. Laters.

[lorenahoffmann]

He/she is not just into you. Just excuses. Men will be with you if they want to. Nothing can stop them.

I hope you meet someone who really values you

[nardaone]

Let him be confused. Actually, let him be as confused as he needs or as he wants to be. You will only observe his confusion for what it is. Do not try to understand him. Do not try to solve his confusion. Just observe, so you can move on faster.

[gigibtsurvivor]

“I want you to have someone whom can give you everything you deserve.”- Without a clear explanation or discussion about what I deserve and by who’s estimation.

“I’m moving to Richmond.”- Then proceeds not to move a year later.

“My decision of not wanting kids includes not wanting someone else’s children.” - After knowingly dating a person with children.

“Unfortunately I am really busy and I have quite a lot going on coming up too. Can we aim for a future date a month away?”

[desertrose]

I am a confused guy = I am exploiting your empathy to keep you around to validate my needs for security whenever I want to. Hard pass!

[stefaniyapanova]

This video reminds of this guy I was dating in my 20s...once he told me he was too cold to leave the house so my best friend suggested I tell him to call me in spring 😂

[Fireworks-nslq]

I know my worth and what I want, and since he isn’t sure at the moment and in the future, pls continue to stay indecisive while I will move on to find someone who is sure of me

[svlagonda]

When someone won't commit, in my experience, its because there's something about the other person that is putting them off.

[mahtab-noedoost]

It's been years that I remind myself of this profound quote of yours: "you have your reasons, but I have my reality." And when ever I doubted my own truth it didn't end up well. Thanks dear Matthew for repeating it again and implying how important it is😊

[coolbreeze]

Great video Matthew! No one wants to be with someone who is flakey and doesn't know what they want. Avoiding that mess is good enough incentive to move on.

[galdevina]

Real gem here. Confusion is closure. Just wow

[monica]

Confusion is closure, easy to say, very hard in reality……… thank you for your true words

[wwxx]

Yessss even if he really won’t commit for mental block and it’s not just a bs excuse… you gotta go, the fact is still that he won’t commit to you 😅 it’s hard to know when to give up but you gotta give yourself a deadline

[salevinton]

I would love to have had the opportunity to say that ... "keep your confusion, I'll keep my reality" but normally they just don't even talk to you anymore... it just doesn't have a closure.