Self-care for Caregivers | Linda Ercoli | TEDxUCLA

This talk will outline important coping strategies for people who care for loved ones with Alzheimer’s disease and other forms of dementia.

[leaveittothediva]

Anyone that does it 24/7 needs a medal, not judgement they get from everyone. ❤

[lencassell]

I so needed that tonight. Like many of you I share your struggle. I'm so exhausted and depressed after 16 years of caregiving for a stroke patient. Tonight, was a good way to do something for myself by giving myself the time to watch this video. Best wishes all caregivers.

[TaterRogers]

Wow, this is spot on. I'm 53 and I am married with a 10 year old boy with autism. I work from home full time and take care of my 84 year old father who has dementia. I have 4 siblings and none of them will help me. I asked a sibling that lives across the country if she could come for a week to take care of dad so we could go on a family vacation to the beach, and she won't do it, even with help with trip money etc. She initially agreed to do it and when we put the money down for the deposit for the trip, she backed out right after. I'm getting a little bit of help from the VA with things, but since Dad's illness and disability is not service connected, it takes a lot of the resources away from me. I tried to let my father live on his own initially because I did not know he wasn't taking his meds, he was not showering regularly, and he was living in squalor, and getting lost driving around (i was getting calls almost daily from people and police asking me if I was related to him), and the final straw was when he showed up here in 17 degree weather wearing nothing but a t-shirt and just saying 'c c c cold" my wife moved him in with us, and we were able to setup a 'room' for him (put a bed and some furniture in the dining room) and he's been here for almost a year. I make and feed him all his meals and meds on time and take him to all of his doctor appointments, and not one time has anybody showed up here to even visit him. We have a cousin that has offered to take him in for our vacation and for a long weekend trip we wanted to do with my wife's family, but other than that, I have no help and it is so frustrating to me, because I feel like I can't go and do anything because there's nobody to help other than my neighbors will come and give him lunch if we want to go out for the day. It's VERY hard to do all of this and care for an autistic child and do homework, etc with him too everyday. I wish the VA would help more. We can't afford a nursing home for him and most of his Social Security is going to groceries and things to care for him and saving for final expenses because he cashed in his life insurance to go overseas to be with a girl that was taking advantage of him for money. Please remember me in your prayers. People talk a good game, but when the rubber meets the road....

[ProdigiousOne]

EXCELLENT MESSAGE! I took care of my mom for eight years; she died in August 2021. I had SO MUCH to learn just by keeping faith and going through all the challenges of caring for her. I didn't get much guidance on how she was changing or how to adapt to her. I just kept going, but like the speaker says, I learned how to take care of myself in little ways. However, I wish that I had joined a caregiver group or been more open about the difficulties of being a caregiver. I didn't talk enough with others about the work of caregiving.

[dannymeske]

Thank you! I'm a 76 yr old caregiver of my wife with dementia for 5 years now. I took care of my mother with dementia for 7 yrs.

[robotaholic]

I woke up in the middle of the night thinking she called for me four different times when she didn't. I can never get rest ever. I owe her. She did it for me as a baby.

[bushidooffaith]

thank you agree with all that was said. I always say to any caregiver I know. You need to take them out of your mind, but always keep them strong in your heart. I am a 24/7 carer for mum, after caring for dad till his passed. In other words don't let them knock you of your mind set, you always need to keep that clear. Caring is like you are driving your car in a fog, you know theres a wall coming but you just have to keep on going. You do this for love. A carer doesn't live, a carer just survives and with Gods help they make it to the end. A stronger person for having the guts to have walk that path! God bless all the CARERS out there.

[Vengurla]

After I heard Linda’s speech a thought came to my mind

That Linda is copy-pasting my experience of caregiving,


I am 89 and I lost my wife 3 months back who was then 

85.last 31 years I was taking care of my wife who was then 

54 and I was 58.She had meningitis and a soft brain stroke.

She was then totally dependent on me.last 3 years she was

Completely bedridden.She was also suffering from Dementia.

 I went through all the sufferings which Linda is describing.

I wish I had heard her speech long back So that I would have

not committed some of those mistakes as a caretaker to my 

wife, which Linda has described in her very useful speech.

Thanks Linda.

[joyclarke]

Best speaker I've heard on being a caregiver for an Alzheimer's patent. I greatly appreciate Linda Ercoli!!

[sarahl]

This is so needed for me. I have been the only carer for my mum since beginning of this year and it's her third time being in the hospital. It's hard.

[naxinkong]

This is very helpful. Good tips on getting respite care for self, not just physically but mentally. So often I spent time ruminating on negative future, though unknown but in a way being in that anticipated grief state. Our brain seems to either think of the past or forward thinking. I started practicing mindfulness and pursue spiritual journey. Some heartbreaking decisions have to be made, this is part of the life: live and death.

[cherylbommarito]

You are helping so many of us to anchor in the storm. Thank you for sharing your insights.

[GenXersJustWalkItOff]

And she felt all that with a care recipient in assisted living... I’m trying not to be bitter, but that seems like heaven to me. I know her story is supposed to help us connect to her talk... I’m on round 4 now, at 51, and I would like to experience some life without caregiving, but I’ve done the math, and it appears I will be quite old before I am free.

[kmw]

This video was beneficial. I will take the tools and use them in my daily activities while caring for my mother.
Thank you so much,

[gabriellaflynn]

This was such meaningful and helpful advice. Thank you!

[chrislim]

I became a caregiver 3 months ago for my father.
I am overwhelmed and depressed.
It feels like life is over. 😔

[sarahs]

Taking care of my mother with ALZ is brutal. But there are beautiful, touching, and funny moments along the way. I try to hold onto those.

[Nothanks]

Death is mercy for a live in caregiver, at least for me it is when my heart is racing, exhausted, hungry, just plain wiped out. I sometimes say, take me in my sleep lord, peacefully in my sleep, amen. When I wake in the morning I pray, help me today lord….

[mkkem]

What about the dayto day cargiver in thetrenches. Bathroom inand out of bed who are alone and none else to orchestrate and try to pay the bills andtryto work to oay the bills at the same time having to help the lovedone to the bathroom while tring to still work. This it stress

[YolandaGuevarra-dt]

Thank you very much to your very good video .❤😊