Why do foreigners leave Japan series #1 : not feeling accepted in Japan

[izumiruki]

Agreed.
Before I moved to Japan, I knew what to expect.
Been here 5 years and I wanna live here forever.
And I'm Malaysian and will always be Malaysian, a foreigner. As long as people don't go out of their way to make me feel unwelcomed, I'm fine.

[aleeya]

her concept is basically “expect disappointment and you won’t be disappointed” and just live her live

[singsongshow]

I was there six years. I slowly became depressed and felt isolated. Didn't feel free either. I still get depressed but I feel like it's easier to deal with it in my home country.

[butterfligirl]

I'm just going to leave this here. I too was black and lived in Asia- specifically China. My yt foreigner colleagues had a hard time assimilating and "fled" because they couldn't believe how "hard" it was to relate to the culture and could not get why the culture would not bend to their foreign behavior or assumptions. Often they would come to me asking if I would give them sympathy or empathy about their blight and how it must be worst for a black person. 👀👀Alas, they were met with me telling them the challenges and discrimination here is NO different than what I experienced back in my home country so living here was a actually easier without the threat of guns, violence or upfront racism🤭. They just need to just "shut up, follow the rules and comply" 😊 it was also really refreshing having random families want you to take a picture with their children because you must be a celebrity to live in China.😂😂 I'm telling you if ✋🏻 folk traveled outside of their country and were required to live there in a place that is completely opposite than them, I really believe discrimination across the world plummet.

[kimberleighh.latham]

I've been here 29 years. I came here with my husband and I have never ever tried to be Japanese. I have never tried to act Japanese and it works for both of us. Being here actually freed me to be who I am and I was able to help bring my poor family into the middle class.

[teacup]

I’m in year two. I don’t wanna leave yet, but i def feel called out by ‘trying to be accepted’ or ‘trying to act japanese’. It’s one of my biggest frustrations- I will always be ‘the foreigner’ no matter what I do. It’s hard to make peace with. There is so much more to me that I want the people in my life to see.
I love my life, but when I imagine myself in 30 years I have to picture it back in my home country. I fear that I would feel so overlooked if I stayed here forever.

[longbcreative]

I have lived here for 37 years. Of course, I am married to a Japanese person and we raised 4 children here. I don't worry about becoming a Japanese or being accepted.

[Lauren-nrwk]

I feel like if you’ve always lived in a place where you’ve never been accepted, going to Japan won’t feel odd. Say if you grew up black or Asian in a white country, we know how it goes and would never go to Japan with that mindset.

[elkekerr]

I left after 5 because the relationships I had developed over that time I meant I had to understand and follow the rules of Japan. I found it very challenging to learn them because they are unspoken cultural rules that people are reluctant to advise you of directly. But I also wear my heart on my sleeve and that doesn't work over there. So I decided it was better to keep the friendships I have and continue to have to this day by leaving

[yasspanda]

Exactly. If you're already an outsider in your country, being an outsider again in a foreign country is a cakewalk 😅

[Chitownreader]

Ive lived here for 5 years now and honestly, I feel more free than ever before, even in the US. Ive learned so much more about interpersonal relationships, not just with Japanese people but other foreigners too! I know what cultural expectations/unsaid rules there are but I also know how to not force myself to follow said rules just for the sake of "not standing out". Like yes i will be respectful and do follow some rules but when it comes to making myself or another person feel smaller, nope!

Finding other foreigners who plan to live here longterm is also extremely important. Making a really close friend just for them to move away in a year? And just constantly going through this cycle? It really breaks your spirit

[Zamundani]

Noted. Embrace who you are and dont force yourself on the locals. Good point.

[LuffyY]

I have a german passport and live most of my life in Germany but I will always be a foreigner to them no matter what.

[GlitterHippie]

A lot of it is also from loneliness. The people who have a hard time finding a partner or authentic friendships are going to experience more difficulties seeing a long term future there which I totally understand.

[anananana]

I love your pants, they look so cute ❤

[catherinelempke]

This is such a good point. While I definitely have respect and admiration for the countries that have diverse populations around the world, I think because a couple of those countries have a big market share of the internet, there's an expectation that all countries - or at least all "good" countries - also operate on the "if you're here, you're one of us" vibe. But it's not true, and I kinda feel like it doesn't have to be true. I think it's ok to live and be comfortable as a permanent guest. Especially when, as you say, that status does not influence your safety at all.

[Mykeynikey]

I feel like once you're a foreigner somewhere, you'll always be a foreigner there. It's like that in the US too. No matter where you go, you gotta find your people.

[virguy]

Maybe some people are used to be the kind of people, who is never the stranger or the weird, and it can be hard to feel like you are the one with not the right color of skin or to be the weird.
I knew a lot of people who could be a bit racist in their country or thought they were the perfect person and who thought they couldn't be treated this way.

[Izzymill]

if you know who you are, then living in Japan should never be an issue. Just do you Boo - save, don't waist your money on silly things, and just be happy

[mizpinkdragon]

If you have sense of self and know your place in the world no one can demean you to affect your self esteem. Leave or stay it should be your choice. Don't force yourself to be the square peg in the round hole.