A Love Letter To Japan {And Why I Can't Wait to Leave! What It's Really Like to Live in Japan}

As I film this video, it is my final weekend in Japan after almost 6 years. It is a certainly a bitter sweet moment, so I thought my final filming in Japan should be a love letter of sorts to this magnificent country that has given me more than I could never ever repay. Most of this video will be dedicated to that, but I will also outline the things about Japan that absolutely drive me crazy! Which are essentially the reasons why I can’t wait to leave, and why I am genuinely concerned about the future of Japan, as our world continues to globalize. So essentially this video will be a honest, assessment of my life in Japan, the good, the bad and the ugly about life in Japan as well as what I think the future of Japan looks like, given all my experiences here, especially from starting and running a company here.

So if you are interested in visiting Japan, moving to Japan, or are fascinated by Japanese culture & history and want to learn more about this country, hopefully you will find these insights helpful.

[BeachsideHank]

My adult son taught H.S. English in the states for 12 years, had his masters, and a dream to teach in Japan, He accomplished that when Interac hired him to teach schoolchildren in a small fishing village in Hokkaido. After a year and a half, his health forced him to return home, where he passed away in late October 2020. I share this to let it be known that life is precarious, live it like you mean it, embrace the moment, each and every one.

[bluecupcake]

I was an exchange student in Japan for a year and my expereinces in socializing were not as horrible as the comments describe. Well it's a fact that is is harder to make friends but no impossible. I think it highly depends on your culture. I came from more of a conservative culture. My social life and private life were in balance. After arriving to Japan making friends were hard. In most countries locals open up to foreigners but in Japan it's the other way around.
I did stupid tricks like pretending to be lost and ask direction in school, or asking for pen because I left mine at home etc. But it definitely works! People will be more familiar with you day by day and they realize talking to you is not a big deal as they expected. Making friends is a long road but it definitely worths it. I still talk to my Japanese friends up until nowadays.

[matthewmammothswine]

Im always disappointed by videos like these, when people make the mistake that Tokyo=Japan. Tokyo is Tokyo and doesn't even come close to representing all that Japan has to offer. I live in the mountains outside Kyoto, and bought a very reasonably priced house here. I would never even dream of living in any big city here, much less Tokyo. As someone who has lived in Japan as long as Connor, I've found the very simple answer to whether you will be able to live in Japan long term (or forever) or will be a 2~5 or so yearer like Connor here. It all comes down to whether or not you can accept Japanese culture as your culture. You can see that Connor here loves a lot of things about Japan, but at his core, he doesn't want to give up his home (im guessing american) culture. Which is completely understandable. Many MANY people cannot or will not give up their native culture because it is a part of who they are. But, if you want to live in Japan and be content and happy here, you MUST accept the culture here, the good and the bad, and make it your own. I had to learn to stop saying to my wife (who is Japanese) things like "Well we do it like this in America! Why don't they do it here?" and instead just accepted that this is just how it is here (a good example being no drying machines!). So for any of you who are thinking of moving here and staying long term, please ask yourself if you are ok with giving up your home countries culture and accepting Japanese culture (the good AND the bad) as your own.

[aayamannami]

I’m Japanese and I couldn’t agree more. I’ve moved out 5 years ago, kept traveling the world and I live in Europe now. I’m absolutely happier here. It’s funny how I can relate more to the foreigners who couldn’t adapt to Japanese culture than Japanese people. Hope you enjoy your next adventure!:)

[tanukiboy]

I'm an American who's lived in Japan for almost 35 years, and I very much agree with your comments. But since I'm an introvert who is very much a homebody, Japan really is the perfect place for me.
I don't recall if you mentioned it in your video, but another great thing about Japan is that everyone has a strong sense of honor and pride in their work or profession. For example, if you buy a large-screen TV, for no extra charge, the shop will send out a truck with 3 delivery guys who will drive to your house, lay down protective sheets on the floor, carefully carry the TV into the room where you want to use it, precisely position it on the stand, connect everything up and make all the necessary adjustments, clean it until it gleams, and then spend 30 minutes explaining to you in detail how to use the TV and the remote control. In the extremely rare case that you notice something wrong (maybe a tiny scratch on the back of the TV or something), they will apologize profusely, load it back on the truck, and bring you a new one, probably with a small gift for the inconvenience you have suffered.
In addition, the amazing safety in Japan you mentioned is also reflected in an amazing sense of honesty and fair play. A while ago I decided to upgrade my CD player, so I called up the audio shop in Tokyo where I bought it and asked them how much they would give me for my old CD player as a trade-in. They told me they would give me ¥110, 000 for it, so we negotiated a price for the new CD player and I sent them the old one by courier service. When they received the old CD player, they told me that it was in much better condition than they expected, so instead of giving me the ¥110, 000 trade-in allowance that I had already happily agreed to, they would give me ¥210, 000 instead. If I hadn't lived here for so long, I would never have believed it. Also, as I'm sure you know, if you ever drop your wallet on the street or on a train, you can be pretty sure that somebody will turn it in to the nearest police station, where you can pick it up the next day and find all your cash and credit cards inside.
A friend of mine here (originally from India) once made a comment about Japan that I thought really hit the nail on the head: the reason he loves living in Japan is because "it's such a civilized country".

[parishiltonASMR]

I've been living in tokyo for almost 1.5 years. I only have work acquaintances and no friends but I am not a social person to begin with. I am happier here than I would be in home country inspite of this.

[YugaKurita]

"The Japanese base their entire society on two main principles: risk aversion and not upsetting someone." As a Japanese, I have to admit that's true. When I was younger I hated the homogeneous society but as I get older and learn how to behave as a normal Japanese, it feels more comfortable. Now I live in the backcountry as a semi-hermit still I can use ubiquitous combinis 24/7 to support my physical existence. Perhaps one of the best places for introverts who are over 40 and can make decent income online or passively.

[gordonbgraham]

I've lived in Japan since 1988. I love it here. I originally decided to come here for 2 years. That was 30 years ago! It was the best decision I've ever made.

[jiyunjang]

Those were the exact same reasons why I couldn’t wait to leave Japan, but as soon as I came to the US, I regretted it and wanted to move back asap. The quality of life in Japan is so high compared to other places in the world. You don’t have to deal with unnecessary stress in Japan, except when you go to the immigration office. I don’t consider that place a part of Japan. 😅

[onlyinjapanGO]

Interesting. I‘ve had a different experience than you. I think if you’re not invested in where you reside, it’s very hard for anyone to take you seriously. My first 10 years here are very different than my last 10 and Japan has changed so much compared to 1998 when I arrived. Japan is not for everyone. You need a sense of humor, tolerance for procedures that don’t make sense, ability to stay positive when you’re frustrated — let stuff go fast. Once you start learning and grasping at how the system works, it’s a magic moment! Navigating both worlds (Japan and everywhere else) - but it doesn’t come in the first several years and for many, it may never come. Some long term residents close down their thinking and some open up more. Everyone’s different and that goes for Japanese. There are people who take risks. I hitchhiked Japan finding that people picking me up were the people I was looking for and became good friends — but you cannot expect Japan to be what you want it to be. It has changed since I came but it has a solid core which I still to this day, don’t fully understand but respect since it keeps me safe, gastronomically pleased and entertained (that sense of humor comes in super handy) — thanks for making this and wish you all the best!

[hopecarter]

9:05 No small talk, you say?

Sounds like the perfect place for introverts then!

[CraigWinstanley]

João Rodrigues was a Portuguese sailor, warrior, and Jesuit interpreter, missionary, priest, and scholar in Japan and China in the 16th century. He made an accurate assessment of the Japanese mindset which still applies in 2021:-

“The Japanese people are so crafty in their hearts that nobody can understand them. Whence it is said that they have three hearts: a false one in their mouths for all the world to see, another within their breasts only for their friends, and the third in the depths of their hearts, reserved for themselves alone and never manifested to anybody."

From História da Igreja do Japão vol I pg 173, written by Father João Rodrigues, SJ.

[berni-san]

I live in Japan and I do have Japanese friends. I am lucky to say that I have met Japanese people who are very kind and have opened their introvert doors for me. It takes time as everywhere in the world to REALLY meet people.
My job is not in a big Japanese company, but at work, I can see a positive attitude towards change and traditional work costums and 'rules'.
I see it this way: if life guides you towards 'loneliness', maybe it's a good opportunity to get to know oneself better and to grow deeper roots.

[mayaoxygen]

I am a Japanese and I lived in Tokyo once before. Even I have some difficulties to make friends in Tokyo. Now I am in the heart of Osaka(not a suburb). I chit chat when I buy a cup of coffee or lunch, with Osaka people. They are very casual and talkative. I always see some foreigners chose to live in Tokyo and leave, feeling some loneliness unless he or she found someone. It is about a culture and country but also maybe it is about timing of your life plan. You should try to find your own family soon anywhere on this earth. Good Luck to your future!!!! Have fun!!!

[Michael-schroder]

Japan is like sitting in a luxury hotel lobby where someone is slowly lowering the oxygen level in the room.

It’s suffocating but you only really notice it after some time.

[vspence]

Went into watching this video wanting to live in Japan and literally none of the “cons” given have dissuaded me. I was thinking there’d be some mention of lack of resources for foreigners trying to find affordable housing or that they’re still very much a paper-based society, or their obsession with creating tons of plastic waste with all the individual packaging, or that working visas are complicated and the definitions are very strict (like, if my husband is able to get a transfer to the Tokyo branch of the international accounting firm he just got a job with, I’d pretty much be stuck as a housewife, even though I’m a licensed Professional Geologist with a Master’s, I’d have nowhere to work). But, the people being risk averse, shy, and having a unique entertainment aesthetic are literally not the reasons that I think would convince most people not to live there. All you did was sell it to me even more. After visiting for 2 and a half weeks in December 2019, I fell in love with it, and hated having to come back to the extroverted, aggressive, dirty US. Anyway, there’s sh*tty things about Japan, just like there are everywhere.

[keikei]

I live in Japan as well, I love the country, it is beautiful, safe, living conditions are great, but I am also thinking about leaving it.
People really don't open up here, mentality is very different, their life values, their understanding of family, friendship, life is so different.
I am here for 4 years already and didn't make not even a single friend, even tho I have always been an outgoing and cheerful person. Here I have become very lonely and depressed and as you get to know local people more most of them are like this. After corona ends I'm leaving too.

[Suedeash]

With regards to globalisation, I am optimistic that Japan will probably maintain the 'charm' that makes it so appealing, simply because it is so hard for foreigners to integrate even despite them relaxing a lot of laws. Sure there are more tourists and foreigners in Japan now more than ever but the revolving door is very real, for many people they'll stay maybe a few years max before returning home. It really takes a huge amount of effort to settle down there, and I don't envision this changing for the simple reason of the language being the biggest barrier to entry. I say with complete confidence that Japanese is the hardest language in the world to start learning, it gets 'easier' and more intuitive with time but most people will frankly never get to that stage. And because of keigo, which you touched on, 99% of foreigners simply are not equipped with the ability to adapt to corporate situations and hence sustain a working life in Japan - stuff like tatemae and 'kuuki wo yomu' are very intrinsic and say a lot about Japan being such a subtext-driven society.

I tend to ignore all the scaremongering you see online about Japan losing what makes it Japan, but realistically there are still 100+ million Japanese in the country (more including diasporas around the world) so there's not really a massive risk of them going 'extinct.' For reference, Japan has like 30-40 million more people than the UK, and the UK is supposedly 70% 'British' (i.e., ethnically native Brits) yet we don't see nearly as much outcry for British people going extinct. That said, there is a need for Japan to become more adaptable in the modern world, but I am sure it will find a way to thrive again. It still produces a lot of technological and cultural exports that generate a lot of revenue, and if anything it may be becoming more of a tourism-driven economy, so maybe they'll need to capitalise on this tourism boom rather than blocking off views to Mount Fuji lol

[amandasmit]

I stay in the country side of Japan for almost 8 years. I will never leave Japan. My home for ever. 🇯🇵🇿🇦

[khaoscero]

Here is another reason to leave any country after 6 years:
The world has over 200 countries. Life is short.