[Ep. 133] Fawning Made Me Sick w/ Martha Beck

In this episode, Luis is joined by Martha Beck, a Harvard-trained sociologist, world-renowned coach and New York Times bestselling author. Martha wrote The Way of Integrity which Luis lovingly refers to as "The Guide on How to Stop Fawning."

Martha and Luis engage in a dynamic conversation about trauma response of fawning, how fawning impacted their lives, and how it felt to release that trauma response. They explore why the body hates to lie, i.e. the physical manifestations that occur in our bodies when we suppress our truths and desires as well as why we often times lose our integrity not because we are bad but because we are trying so hard to be good.

Martha also shares with us what she learns from her integrity cleanses, i.e. abstaining from lying for a year, and what it was like to coach Oprah through a somatic practice of understanding a fawn response.

[carleylouw]

OMG I’m an ex Mormon. I have severe auto immune disease. Since earliest years. Suddenly at 71 the Penny dropped. Thank you sooo much for this conversation. 🙏🙏🙏😍💜

[roadmystic]

Enlightening. Loving. Expanding. Enriching. Awesomeness! Thank you, Luis! 🙏 ❤ Martha is my hero & mentor. I've read all of her books, some several times. I follow her daily through The Gathering Room YouTubes. It is my first time here. So nice to meet you, Luis. I look forward to seeing more of your YouTubes! Namaste to both of you. 🙏

[anget]

Fawning response- so exhausting! I’m 51 and this is relatively new to me! It’s refreshing to say “No” - detach, detach, detach!

[hppybnstr]

😂 “And I’m not fawning...!”
I’m so glad complimenting is not necessarily fawning. Beautiful wisdom from Martha and you, Luis. Thank you!!

[SAStone]

This hit home on so many levels. I was previously a Mormon and I'm also gay. Fawning is a completely new concept for me. I am headed to order Martha's book right now and follow her!

[wholewomancoach-]

Beautiful brilliant conversation. Martha learned everything she teaches firsthand, from her own experiences. Her story is extraordinary as are her books. Thank you 🙏

[iw]

Recovering fawner and yes echoist. Thanks very much for discussing this 😅❤

[independantfree]

The thing about integrity - it will tell you whether an experience is positive - YES! So many tell us to block the pain out, I like that we can celebrate it without judging it to be wrong! Thank you so much Luis & Martha!

[bodymindflower]

2 weeks ago I learned about fawn and in few days I watched all the videos on Youtube on this topic, actually - only 43!)
And today I see your video, what a gift))

I found al the videos in fawn topic very helpful, only understanding of the fact that almost all my actions and thoughts are initiated by unconscious response gave me opportunity to relax and be more conscious about my feelings, actions and how I interact with others

right now I'm reading the book of Pete Walker, who actually coined this term "fawn" and can recommend as great resource as well as his interviews
thank you that you're developing this topic

[rubysarahaynes]

This concept of fawning is not new, just rebranded "people pleasing" and earlier "codependence". Still, very helpful and grouping it with fight or flight gives it an interesting twist! Thank you both for your insights 🙏🏼

[thetokyodrafts]

Pete Walker has talked extensively about the fawning response.

[JulineBasil]

Authentic and beautiful conversation ❤ Thank you!

[cruzdecaramelo]

I like your laughter, looks very open and honest

[jeremyleis]

So good 😘🙏 Thankyou So much for this video, it's quite healing 😘