Rich Hall sings to David 2

Big bad David. Sing along if you know the words David
why are you ******* doing this I'm singing to you!
There's a story in Bryngwyn that they all like to tell
About David and little Timmy Johnson that got trapped in the well
and as the croud gathered about someone screamed "get that child out someone Save him! Help him"!
but the daddy gone crazy and the mom went wild and then everyone was crying "Save that child"!
and the air grew still and the sky grew black and a
big booming voice said "Stand back! I'm a cabinet maker".

He walked right up to that watery grave Big David! he knew that there was a child's life to be saved and the he did what any cabinet maker would do in that situation to save that little kid, right David, you bet, what exactly would that be,
He kept quiet and looked around, that's when the little b****** drowned, Hey David, you're the hero of the song for ****'s sake, you cannot abdicate your responsibility you gotta help the little b******. Acted quick, he was no fool, he went back to that warehouse and grabbed some tools, a hammer and a wrench and some nails, threw em down into that living hell, through some sort of watery displacement, the kid rose up from that deathly basement that's physics you understand when you throw a lot of shit in the water, something has to rise.
in order to facilite that child's removal they had to wait three weeks for Bryngwyn city council approval he was a hero but you know the rest, he was fined for not wearing a high visibility vest
then he pulled little timmy out gave him the kiss of life,
then he was hugged by his friends and his wife and then much to the chagrin of his friends and his neighbours he charged that little son of a b**** for material and labour.
Big David, big Dave, big bad David

[clairerisley]

he's literally very talented at making up funny stuff about strangers on the spot! amazing. Weirdly though it was all true. crazy.