My Ex Is Playing Games with Me!

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If your ex is playing mind games with you, it can be frustrating. After all, what sick pleasure do they get from jerking you around like this?

Well, the truth is actually a lot more easy to understand when you come to the realization that your ex is not intentionally doing this to you.

Of course, there are a small number of people who will sadistically get pleasure from toying with your emotions.

But that is a very small percent of people out there, and chances are high that you would have gotten at least some suspicion that your ex was this type of person during your time together.

Most of the time, your ex is really just confused.

They don't like the hot and cold behavior that they are sending you any more that you do. They are equally as frustrated with their shifting emotions.

And when you realize this, you can start to approach your ex from a place of greater compassion and understanding.

[TheBloodyBlackJackal]

I’m in a situation, where I know my ex is genuinely confused, genuinely conflicted, and genuinely trying to figure out what she wants...

I also know she’s definitely playing mind-games but not out of malicious intent or anything like that. There are two reasons I believe she’s doing it.

One, she has always been the type to struggle with spitting out what she wants to say and has always resorted to various games as a substitute. Now she has that issue, on top of mood swings, and being genuinely confused as to what she’s feeling.

Two, I think she’s trying to replicate our old dynamic. There was a time where we both sort of played mind games with each other, but it wasn’t in a toxic way, it was actually fun and something that brought us closer together. The difference between then and now, is that back then we had a strong enough connection that we were able to navigate the games and figure out what the other wanted. Right now, we obviously don’t have that level of connection and she’s trying to force it to be so.

[_tvbeauty]

I don’t know if he’s confused or if he is just keeping me as a backup. I honestly just want to quit trying…

[denisejaydub]

Just want to drop in and say you’re so good!

[hazi]

I believe my ex plays mind games with me he literally plays with my feelings and broke my heart a lot but i love himmm sm i left him so i can heal he was in a rebound and then left her for me and now he is chasing me the weirde thing is when i get close to him he pulls back and act cold and when i pull back he chase me again I’m literally sick of this i just want him back please help idk what to do anymore

[MB-xver]

They are playing games. Guys, trust me. An ex knows what they want and If they are being hot and cold it’s because they’re keeping you around until the new person comes in. Hot and cold behavior is not done on accident

[SMcGrath]

How do you separate any of this from narcissism or sociopathic or even psychopathic behaviours?

[piyushpandey]

hey coach Clay am piyush from india my ex pulled me away 6-7 months ago i loosed my self esteem, begged and pleaded ....i by mistake gave a blank call to ex. on 28th 1 hr she called me thrice...but i rejected her on 6th dec she called me once....and texted me about why i called her on that should i do....if i want her back in my life .. help me pls with your suggestion what should i do now please ... and one more thing coming up on 25th dec i have my special day [ birthday] ... guide mev pls ....

[lilianamarques]

My ex (separated husband) likes to tell me to go out more, visit new things, and do things for me. But when i do... he always gives me crap about it until i reassure him that i want with another man! It's happened twice so far. We're only separated officially for a month. He seems like he cares but then does this stuff. He'll always tell me he doesn't care what i do but he obviously does.

[cocoluv]

I'm in a situation where he is confused. We have been connecting in a positive way. Even had discussions about starting a business. I may have made things worse by saying before I invest time and money into his business I need to be with them. I also said "I love you" meaning if I spend all that time and energy. I will fall back emotionally. I told him it doesn't help he is using pet name and calling me "bae" is confusing. I think I messed up because now he is cold again.

[tarapahlevani]

Was in NC for 2 months, then I went out for my bday weekend and saw him. Didn’t say anything to each other in the club but when he left he messaged, I ended up going home with him that night... then 2 days later (yesterday) he wished me happy birthday on my birthday and today I messaged him and I was super raw and said I missed him and he responded “well that’s normal, is that all you wanna say” he’s playing gamesss
What should I do?

[johngreen]

Holy shit. This video was just for me. My ex said she needs time. I kept going on about getting bk together with her but I have stopped now and havnt mentioned it. Even having a bit of banter over texts and she is texting more. What else should i do?

[wedoba]

Thanks Clay your really helping me . I do want to know your view on my situation. I've been using tacktics from love advice tv. I love both of you, your the only ones that I listen to. I am at this weird point where I haven't talked to her in a month and this would be the second no contact. But not on purpose this time, my phone is just off. So the last time I spoke with her she changed her mind to she hates me and she can't see me for a long while. She has a bf she's been with since last year April, she wants to work on him, she's wishes that be in more pain and get dragged through the mud. Clearly I still love her ( we had and 8 year relationship.), and Ive been changing myself and I've succeeded in pin pointing my issue ( neglecting). How ever she I'm about to write her a letter but I'm sure she's still bitter. How do you think I should pretend forward?

[TheDepiano]

Hey coach, here's my situation : My ex dumped me on the 14th of December. She only reached out on Christmas day, and on New Year's Eve by sending me a picture of some soaps she had made and to wish me a happy new year. I wished her the same but did not carry the conversation as I did not really pick on the "indirect/direct approach". After that, she reached out this sunday and we saw each other that same afternoon. Things were great, we laughed and joked a lot, like nothing bad had ever happened to us and our relationship. We even poked fun at each other in trying to make the other a little jealous about possible people that we dated during our time apart. At the end of the meetup, I felt good and went for the kiss, but she turned her head and said that she was unsure of her feelings. I didn't try to convince her of anything, I just walked away with a smile and she said : "see you soon, maybe"...I'm in no contact right now and I haven't heard from her since. I guess I won't ever but at least I think I handled it pretty well. Go figure.I also learned that a rebound was involved. He had dumped her a few days before her reach out, I'm assuming that's why she did it.What do you think of it ? Is she toying with me ? keeping me as a backup plan ? Will I hear from her again ?

[chrismcevoy]

My ex-girlfriend Tracci Ludwick wants me to pursue her, but I want mutual pursuit.

[you_know_it]

My ex gf playing mind games that have messed me up mentally and emotionally we been broken up for 5 months we were together for 3 years and she said she don’t want me back to move on that she has and it wasn’t hard but she wouldn’t give me closure all I asked her to tell me is that she don’t love me anymore I didn’t want a explanation I just wanted to hear those words but she wouldn’t tell me that after I excepted that the relationship is over so I told her I wasn’t gonna look for her or message her anymore after like 30 minutes she txt me to see how I’m doing? I ignored her two weeks go by she txts again saying “just checking in to see how your doing?” After I respond she goes super cold on me treats me like crap so I block her on everything few weeks go by she send me a email saying I didn’t have to block her that we could’ve been civil about everything and that we need to act like adults for the baby we lost smh I had to delete my email cause she keeps playing games and she’s only hurting me

[champagneblewupthestars]

My ex decided to stay with his rebound. It’s been 8 months. He calls said he loved me then next day said he loved his gf. He ignores me and seems to reach out on his terms. I don’t think I will reply this why is he doing this? If he chose her can’t he just let me be wtf

[THAMESLINK]

thanks for the advice and tip Clay Andrews i know i asked you before in another video but my ex is similar doing the same thing like getting her friend to add me on facebook or being tracked which is crazy so maybe its sign she wants me back after the break up last year we had no contact since september last year approx so maybe shes woke up to realization and we were together 1 year and 7 months so deffo something still there

[lifewithteya]

I told my ex that we need to work on getting the emotional connection better and he says he is hesitant and don’t know that it will work, am I able to turn that around?

[Jmitez]

I tried getting my ex on a phone call and she said no because she felt like I had ulterior motives... and then weeks later she’s asking to go out on a date!!!! How confusing!!?! I called her out on it and she ignored me. Now she’s posting on social media like life is normal. Any advice on this????

[laiba]

my ex broke up with me one week before my birthday and he said the following before breaking up i hope u have a happy life i am so busy with that i cant have time for you and then he wished me on my birthday i texted him on gmail a month ago and he finally replied hi and i started to lash out he replied wt* excuse me and then i block him, he stopped using the site we both used but after a month he login again and he posted about how relations are fake and then he didnt log in for a month then i posted pics of guy he probably saw it after few days i saw a girl commenting on his post she wrote a comment 'I love it' and he replied 'and i love you' after few days he posted a pic with her as a profile pic and wrote in his bio TAKEN i was on no contact i didnt talk to him after we broke up he is in relation GREAT so i ignored him he was in relation i was like yeah he is HAPPY let's move on and after two months he posted something despo and said it was like i am in dark EVEN THO HE IS IN RELATION plz explain to me i am REALLY REALLY confused