'You said you trusted Ping. Why is Mulan any different?' Vent (Read Desc)

First of all: Sorry if the voiceovers sound louder than the music, it had to be this way 'cause the voiceovers would sound really low

Second of all: Yeah, this is what happens when I have my internal fights with myself... If you don't get who is who, don't worry, I will explain you:

Mulan is who I'm forced to be, Ping is who I realized I am and Shang is the true me... And yeah, you know that I'm Genderfluid and Transgender, so that means that I can be treated as any gender, I don't mind the way that you treat me, always that you treat me with respect, sure

But, to be honest... I hate my body; I hate pretending to be someone that I'm not; I hate wearing bikinies and female underwear. I hate having menstruation (wait, who likes having menstruation? Oh yeah, no one); I hate living trapped in a cage; I hate when people deny my gender; I hate stereotypes such as "if you were a boy you wouldn't like this, this and this"; I hate going to girls' bathroom and going to girls' locker room. I hate transphobia; I hate that people call me by my deadname (fact: I call myself by my deadname when I fight against myself as you can see in this vent. Weird, huh?) and I hate treating myself like trash (example: this vent). I hate it but there is nothing I can do

But I realized something: The old me isn't any different from the true me... I'm still the same and I'm still here, I haven't gone anywhere and I never will. I should trust and love myself no matter what. I need to