Enneagram: Mental Health & Type 4

Transformational Enneagram & Relationship Coaching

Also available on Apple Podcasts and Spotify

It's simple, Give if you want to and are able to...no pressure!

Dr. Tom LaHue is a graduate of Florida Christian College. He holds 3 Master's Degrees including an MDiv from Liberty Univ. His Doctoral degree is from Grace College and Seminary. He is also a certified Marriage Coach. He and his wife Traci have been married since 1991. They are the proud parents of 5 children and 5 grandchildren.

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[aninfphilosophy]

😂 I laughed when you said, "We're looking at the mental health for type 4 so you know that's going to be good." 😂😂😂

[lisanapoli]

I really appreciate your work and videos Tom. I'm a self pres 4w3, and I can get very low in depression, melancholy, and also instantly happy in my mood swings. Yes, misunderstood, feeling different, and retreating 100%. Yes, I remember everything hurtful in the past, even the slightest comment, and I dwell on it, wishing it was different.

[RandolphTheWhite]

One thing I've noticed with fours is introjection, which basically means internalizing the beliefs and ideas of others. So they'll adopt shame that isn't theirs, or feel guilty for something they had very little to do with. It gives them a sense of control.

[Anita-silver]

100% me. Feels so heavy and painful to hear it all out loud. The thing is as a 4 I can't help people understand what's happening inside or why because it just is. Going deeper with God is what is transforming me.

[peachesandpoets]

This sounds like a list of traits of people who are recovering from narcissistic abuse. That makes sense, being a weirdo from an early age can make you attractive to some really shit people.

[BronwynWilkie]

I’m a 4w5 and my mum is a 7w6 (like Dr Tom!). I have gotten so frustrated with her in the past for “mentally air-brushing” out all the conflicts of our family events and remembering them only as happy, positive occasions, even though I know she was just as upset by them as I was at the time. Only very recently did I realise that maybe I have my own tendency to fixate and dwell on the negative. This has completely changed my perspective! I thought I was just being “real”; I couldn’t see my own distorting viewpoint.

Anyway, nailed it as always, Dr Tom 👏 This video really captures the 4 experience so well, I think. I was nodding along the whole time. So healing (and unusual) to feel so understood!

[annaandrea]

As a 4w5, dwelling on the negative helps me keep my idealism in check. I tend to long for a perfect world/life, and the pain I've endured in the past helps me have realistic expectations. I wonder how many of the 4s are also INFJ-Ts and on the autism spectrum...

[romy]

Ooh the dramatic exit. 😅 I've seen this multiple times as a 7 in a relationship with a 4. Thanks for the video. Spot on.

[peachesandpoets]

My brother is a 7 and he doesn't remember anything. He's not lying, like he just erases negative memories from his head

[thenondualisticmystic]

@14:30 i will tell you what it does for me, sir. (I mean thining about the past, in general). Strategically speaking: 1. It fills me with gratitude (the highest vibration there is) and actually boosts my mood/outlook on life as a result. 2. It inspires and delights me. This can include generation of new ideas, creative project prompts, etc. 3. It gives direction for my future/present life. Even if I can't DIRECTLY experience something from my past a second time, I can still pursue something SIMILAR in the now, based off knowing what I enjoyed in the past. And that in turn improves my life in the present. Focusing on the past and memories isn't all negative and doesn't have to be sad for me every time. I find reminiscing to be quite good for my personal mental health, as long as it stays balanced and doesn't become excessive. And personally, I don't focus on "negative" things in the past excessively. Just enough to inform my future and remind me of good lessons I've learned/ways I've grown.

[davidtalley]

As a 4, aristocrat variety, I think you nailed it. I don't relate to the "dwelling on the past" but wonder if subconscious memories that impact the present would be a version of that.

[MiillieMesh]

Being a 4 seems sucky from hearing you speak about it 😂 I had to start cramming affirmations into my head 2021 because I was so sick of myself! I'm an INFP who is a Libra btw. But on the backside is a whole Scorpio stellium, so it's like being a dark & heavy cloud. Just light enough to float but dark enough to rain. I've been heavy into spirituality for the past 5 years, so many questions about this realm & about myself. And I think you're right about being attracted to simple people LOL I have a thing for Virgos, plain janes & predictable 😅

[johnfaulk]

I’ve found that artistic expression, as a 4, is a very healthy outlet for the gloom and doom issues from the past!

[kristiebeaver]

you explain me better than i can explain myself 😂love your videos

[SusanBloemhof]

I'm an Artist - mostly a Portrait Artist. I recently revisited a painful life-experience and painted a self-portrait of around that time (from a photograph). I needed to sit with those memories in order to get closure. At least 4s find a way out and are aware of their experiences. Not dealing with past traumas are harmful... to me anyway. I'm an ENFP 4w5.

[johnfaulk]

Nailed me with the tattoo that nobody understands…😂

[ontheroadwithrosa]

I’ve just discovered this and your channel and as a 4 I have never felt more understood 😂

[amymills]

I would say that my response to criticism is that I lose trust in that person, I begin to criticize them back even more harshly, or I seek revenge.

[RunToEternity]

While this memory is fresh in my mind today, "Youuuu!"
"Both of you!"
Now seemingly calm, "Oh what I'm going to do to you."
Now don't worry, it only really happened in Ren & Stimpy.
But if I'm angry enough to remember this segment of that episode, that is enough.

[lemonadecrunchyice]

“a lot of the popular, mundane things in life are popular because they’re great” the day i learned this was the day i started liking marvel movies LMAO