Coping skills and Psychological Defenses - An Introduction

In this video I discuss coping mechanisms and defense mechanisms.

Coping skills are the thoughts and behaviors you engage in that help you manage distressing situations. They can be divided into emotion-focused and problem-focused.

Emotion focused coping skills help you feel better, but they don’t change your situation. They help you manage your reaction to the situation. Problem focused skills are best for situations that you have some control over because they can help you solve the problem or minimize it.

How are coping skills related to defense mechanisms?
Coping skills are the things that you do on a conscious level to deal with distressing emotions. Defense mechanisms occur on an unconscious level, meaning you are not always aware of what you’re doing to deal with the inner conflict. You may become aware that you’re doing it, but usually in the moment, it’s more of an automatic reflex.

The psychological defenses are divided into three categories. Primitive, less primitive and mature. Primitive defenses are considered immature and childlike. They are normal responses in childhood, but as we mature, we’re supposed to adopt more of the mature defenses.

Some personality types employ more primitive defenses. Borderline personality is one such personality. In fact, the name borderline comes from the concept that the personality is on the border between neurotic and psychotic.

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Disclaimer: All of the information on this channel is for educational purposes and not intended to be specific/personal medical advice from me to you. Watching the videos or getting answers to comments/question, does not establish a doctor-patient relationship. If you have your own doctor, perhaps these videos can help prepare you for your discussion with your doctor.

[Hyderagean]

"venting or having an emotional release, like screaming in your bathroom, is another good way to deal with upsetting emotions"
Thank you for adding that part in. Those words were exactly what I needed to hear to stop feeling crazy for having my own feelings. Thank you.

[jviewz]

My favorite doctor in the whole wide world 🌎❤️✨

[christopheroconnor]

I‘m really happy that you’re putting out more psychoanalytic content lately :) thank you!

[cathygoltsoff]

Thank you Doctor. I see people lashing out. To deal with stress I like to exercise, play cello and violin, dance and take a fun class. I tend to be a pleaser and I now realize I need to take care of myself as a priority. I love my husband and he likes to control and I am a live and let live type of personality. In my disagreements I observe his behavior. To get my needs met I choose my arguments carefully. I will go along with his behavior much of the time but not always. I am happier now that I have set some boundaries.

[Ron-SA]

Thank you for expanding the Projection issue Dr Marks. I've been making a conscious decision, Every time I begin feeling like I'm going to have an emotional outburst, and it usually feels like my feelings are a soda bottle that's been shaken, I've decided to just wait before speaking. At first it wasn't easy because the urge is so strong to get my feelings heard, but I've allowed myself to purposely be quiet until that urge passes and strangely after a few Minutes it does. And once the feeling has passed I'm actually able to think more clearly and realise that I may have saved myself and those I love possible hurt. And usually the thoughts that come during those urges are distorted and not true. Just by purposely waiting for the urge to pass. Then I'm able to communicate my feelings and thoughts better. I've found these videos so helpful

[brucedonnelly]

cracked up at the passive aggressive response, you got me lol

[TheAdhdGardener]

😑still working on my coping skills. Alcohol is my vice🤦‍♀️ I use my garden as a positive coping mechanism. SO GLAD U MENTIONED GARDENING!!🌻 if only I can live in my garden 🤔

[JD-rner]

Thank you, Dr. Tracey - I have just started Ketamine infusions for treatment resistant depression and chronic anxiety. The response to the treatments has been nothing short of miraculous. It is as though the darkest elements of depression have been switched off. The treatments have opened a window of opportunity to see the world in a more positive light. My challenge now is to continue to redirect negative thinking and thoughts so that I can modify my perceptions. Your video is very timely and I thank you. I intend to download and utilize the coping skills chart you shared. Thank you, Dr. Tracey!

[infallibleblue]

Thank you for making these uploads. Not too long and not too short. Very insightful and helpful.

[sweekley]

I've noticed that one of my big defensive mechanisms is making jokes/saying funny things to calm myself in stressful or scary situations

[marthajburns]

Ooh, it was helpful to hear that "intellectualization" isn't a mature strategy. I do this a lot. So I try to see where the person is or could be coming from when I feel confused or hurt by something they've said or done while not assuming it is with bad intent. That helps me cope with my negative feelings. My therapist said to me, "Sure, but that doesn't mean you put up with it." This was . . . news to me.

[SuperGen]

I appreciate your videos so much. The fact that you keep them down to less than 15-20 minutes long is perfect for me. I have a borderline person in my life whose behavior is very primitive a lot of the time, but never in the company of others. It’s frightening.

[brianarbenz]

I've been at all of these stages, Dr. Marks. Thanks for making such a clear and relatable video on these coping and defense mechanisms. In recent years, when I've felt I can't make any progress on the big challenges in the world, I've begun asking myself, "All right, then what _can_ I do?" And that often is, keep a clean house, get caught up on the bills, get out a fav book and do some enjoyable reading. The so called little things can become big accomplishments.

[thisisalbinism]

These are some of the best mental health videos on youtube

[christopherhazen]

Thank you for making these concepts easy & relatable.
It’s one thing to understand concepts and another skill to communicate it to people who haven’t sat through psychology classes.
You are very good at all of the above.
Thank you Doc.

[fabianalfonsoooo]

Hello Dr. Tracey! I've been looking for your new video! Through each one of your video, I get to know myself and people around me better psychologically, so tha k you thank yoy thank you so much! Stay healthy! ♥

[plloccy]

I really like the format of these videos— a brief introduction and getting straight to the point. Topics are discussed briefly with options to watch videos that go into more detail. Thanks

[ValerieHalla-noelse]

I'm sorry this is a little off topic but I just love you, I just want to say thank you so much for everything that you do. God bless you all.

[realtrader]

Dr Marks, your channel is really helping me in many ways. I am impressed and really love your work.

[skyysims]

Dr. Tracey be out here just helping people all willy nilly! And we appreciate it..