How to deal with an ANGRY & HURT INFP

In this video I discuss how to deal with an angry and hurt INFP. Please let me know your experiences in the comments and if you’re an INFP, let me know how you like to be dealt with 😊

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p.s. “murk through” … it’s “muck through” 🤣

#infp #mbti #16personalities #16types #16personalitytypesy

[christiannoenaim]

Emphasis on don’t gaslight someone and pretend like they are upset for no reason. They usually have a valid reason for the way that they feel.

[kazeryu]

Agreed. My biggest advice for non INFP'S (especially extroverts) is that, if an INFP is pissed, and you try to offer unsolicited advice, and they brush you off, just let them brush you off, and don't take it personally. If you keep nagging, we might lash out at you because that anger has to go somewhere, and then we will feel bad about lashing out at you, and that would only make us feel worse. In most cases, we are not brushing you off because we don't like you. We are just trying to be alone. And yes, while it does take us a long time to get back to normal, every second of alone time helps. Eventually the anger fades into emotional soreness that we can treat by ourselves. If we want your advice, we will ask, and we may even be open to your advice if you just give us a damn minute.

[carolyntullis]

I have to say, I like your collection of tie-dyes. I have a collection of them too. Love tie-dye. I know there are some other ones online that I am interested in getting. ...but I've been resisting. ...so far. 🤣 Meanwhile, I am an INFJ. I always wanted to be a hippie! 😂

[hiccupsbunny]

Im INFP-T. I just broke up with my partner last week. Got angry and upset when i tried to express my feeling and the respond i got was "I cant control what you feel" I felt unheard and misunderstood. So i said things that hurt him. I walked away after the arguments. Feel blamed etc. After few days i reflect all things, i came to him to apologize and willing to do better and better next time. But its up to him to give me one more chance or not. Cause what i see is we both made mistakes. But from my side im willing to work it out.

[globalheartwarming]

The 🗝️: Don't f-ing ANGER & ABUSE US.

[jensmith]

We almost always, at least when we send unintentional anger towards someone, apologize. Only after we have internally worked out our feelings ❤ If you come to us before then, BEWARE - we will explode 🤯 . . . js😊

[sad_doggo]

I've found that it's really hard for me to understand INFP's emotional reactions. As an INTP my thoughts are always on how practical or reasonable a situation is, so when they start talking about injustice, disrespect and betrayal it's very hard not to look at them sideways and just assume they're overreacting. But it seems like if you actually validate their feelings, INFP will start to calm down surprisingly quickly.

[uunnoov]

I “accidentally” broke up with my ex because he upset me and I withdrew (letting him know) but he kept nagging and asking for clarity so I told him all the negative evaluations I had of him in that moment and how I’m unsure of our relationship. Who knows if I would have walked away if he were to just have given me more space

[brianolson]

I'm so angry and confused about wrongs right and wrong in my case, as I've been stewing and didn't want to say to cause her(intj) any negative emotions. So a year later, after talking her to whenever she's down for hours(any time. I stop everything and listen), getting ghosted on weekends or randomly when I text her art work and common interests. She will reappear with a "how are you" after her novelties were off. I text back some snide comments about greed, empty vessel, and things of those of that nature in one diatribe text.

I know I'm wrong. I've asked her numerous times to not communicate when busy, reciprocate the ear when I need, and understand I'm sensitive and had trauma numerous times. No response and the text goes unread. Sure as crap a text a week later when she's sad and "I'm only one to talk to"...

I hate hate the way deal with it, but beyond frustration as I cant tell uf she's toxic, I'm toxic, it's intj/infp dynamic, etc...

Like now we were texting nice. Then bam ghost 3 days before vacation. No response, talk later, pictures, etc. ZERO. So the cycle is repeating again.

How can she not acknowledge my request that many times? Why ghost? So this leaves my mind wondering: all these "I only trust ", ""I wish were married", etc I started believing or manifestation she is using me. So not getting anything now, I'm already having...

"Fear of abandonment".. It's so sad because everything is beautiful
.. I don't want break this 12 year relationship that we've been through. I'm at the gate of totally walking away but I don't know. I don't like I get negative and say snide comments, but I don't know how to look at it... a "how are you" text after a month of ghosting? Well, why even ask!??! Are you that out of touch I'm not well in our relationship because you keep rotating with people and ghosting.

So that stupid, "how are you" statement after a month doing the short-term happy times with others and come to you when over is infuriating!!!!

Is this unfixable? How can communicate, apologize, put an emphasis that I'm getting hurt not being listened to, and still keep my loving listening ear. I'm starting to resent supporting her, like wtf. When I need to talk: nothing!

Please 🙏 any advice. This is tormenting!

[mikicerise]

I skip this whole stage of lashing out and try to keep my anger and hurt under wraps... generally by the time other people notice and ask me if I'm pissed off at something, I have it all worked out enough that I can just say, "well when you did this I felt kind of hurt because this and this." I don't mind people asking for immediate clarification, though, if it's coming from a place of wanting to work things out or just being worried. It's never fun to see a friend or partner upset without knowing why and I can fully understand the anxiety and I appreciate people really wanting to know how I feel. I would want to reassure the other person if I still need time to process it that I am not withdrawing or shutting them out, I just need time to really understand things so I can communicate with them better. But I don't want to hurt them over it if I don't feel they intentionall hurt me, that's why I kind of just try to hide it for awhile.

I do need time to really process my feelings, but I haven't had the experience of this being especially slow. Usually I'm still the first one to have all his feelings processed and be ready to talk, even if it takes a couple of days, and I'm the one feeling like I'm being left hanging with no resolution. 🤷With a very close trusted partner, especially another INF, it can be possible to work through hurt feelings together, too, without having to process them alone. It gets better as you get older and more emotionally mature. When I was younger I would often assume that people were less vulnerable to my words than they really are, especially if they didn't react as I would react when I'm hurt.

[hallyhop]

Interestingly I’m an INFP and my mom is an ENFJ and my mom is much more the type (personally) to need space to think and consolidate her feelings. Which actually tends to hurt me, because I feel abandoned when she does that. Like we’ll be in an argument and she’ll just say a bunch of mean passive aggressive things and leave mid sentence. Then I’m left feeling like she completely misunderstood me and doesn’t care enough to tell me she still cares and will come back. Just interesting to me how that’s kinda the opposite to what you said in this video. But I know it’s all subjective and people have different upbringings that influence their values and behaviors.