6 Social Mistakes That Make You Look Low Status

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In today’s video we’re going to show you 6 unattractive habits that instantly make it look like you lack confidence. And what you can do instead to command more respect in your conversations.

⏰TIMESTAMPS⏰ 

0:00 - Intro
0:07 - #1: Avoidant body language
1:31 - #2: Talking tentatively
3:40 - #3: Asking first instinct questions
4:50 - #4: Retreating after a miss
6:30 - #5: Injecting an unnecessary brag into conversation
7:56 - #6: Prioritizing being agreeable over being true to yourself

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[alexflips]

1) avoidant body language
2) talking tentatively
3) asking first instinct questions
4) retreating after a miss
5) bragging unnecessarily
6) prioritise being agreeable over being true to yourself

[sagatuppercut]

I grew up being a very shy kid who wanted people to like me. Years later, after being in situations where I have been forced to talk to people, I realized that it's easier to speak to people if you're not afraid of them or what they think about you. The older I get, the less I care about the world and social acceptance. I've always felt like an outsider anyway, so I don't have much to lose if I meet someone, strike up a conversation, and that person doesn't show interest or is cold-hearted. I'm still shy and quiet at times, but I don't let my inadequacies bother me to the point that I won't try new stuff or engage in small talk to people and make eye contact with them. The TV shows that are presented in this video have actors following a written script---so that's not a real life example of people navigating their way through a conversation. If I had a written script, I could always end up a winner in every social situation. Real life winners have experienced losing moments. Besides all that, I've found that a lot of people aren't really worth fretting over. If someone doesn't like you, there's 8 billion other people to talk to. So don't waste your time pining over the ex-girlfriend/boyfriend or lost friendships or any other missed opportunity to talk to someone you admire. Just keep moving forward.

[janewasson]

I met Davy Jones of the Monkees years ago in Cincinnati. Instead of gushing how l loved him, his songs, the show-all that idiocy he'd heard before, l asked him about his horse farm in Pennsylvania. Did he ever look surprised! We had a nice chat about his horses, and l got a hug.

[candymanfam]

A big problem with pausing and I think the reason people use so much filler is because most people are usually too excited to say what they need to say. So they’ll use any break in your sentence to interrupt you and start talking about their point. Using filler words fills in any breaks so people can’t cut in.

[IamKnucks]

I hate that people think when you're tentative you're not confident. Sometimes you're just thoughtful. We need to promote thoughtful people, not just people who come across confident. In my experience that confidence is actually just arrogance as they state false things with complete confidence.

[retireconormctapperusuck]

Pausing works when you’re being interviewed or giving a speech but in a social situation you will be cut off no matter how charismatic you are

[TheIncredibleCulp]

#6. One time I was rushing home because I had to poop really bad. Literally, I was about to poop my pants. I was speeding, and ran through a red light.

2-3 weeks later, a ticket arrived in the mail with a red light ticket and it wasn't cheap. If I remember correctly it was ~$150 or so. I called the number on the back of the ticket, hoping to explain my situation. The operator transferred me to the Officer or Supervisor and I got their voicemail. I left an impassioned and honest speech on their VM about how truly sorry I was but that I really had to go.

An officer or police supervisor called me back a few days after the voicemail to tell me they'd be voiding the ticket and that my voicemail was played throughout their office and left everyone in absolute stiches, laughing at my expense. I couldn't help but start laughing and told him I was glad they got a kick out of it and expressed how thankful I was for them voiding the ticket for me.

The price I'd pay to get my hands on a copy of that voicemail. Anyway, just goes to show being honest does

[matiosmi]

I find it somewhat narcisisstic of the society that the majority of people struggle with those traits and STILL require others to behave like this towards them. I mean, learning to behave more confidently has value on its own and makes you feel better no matter what, but a little understanding for those who struggle would go a long way.

Thanks for the useful hints!

[sofia]

I took a public speaking class in college and that class ended up being one of the most useful courses in my life. Listening to yourself and others speak is so helpful eliminating those filler words and speaking with confidence.

[blackmax]

Pretty good advice. Just one thing about the pausing instead of using filler words. Those celebrity videos don't really reflect my real life experience because celebrities are trying to be charismatic and polite. I have always been pausing instead of filling the silence and even if it's just for a few seconds, 9 out of 10 times I get interrupted because people assume I'm done. Maybe they are just not even listening after asking me something. It's weird to me, it feels like everyone waits for the slightest chance to get the spotlight.

[grasshopperweb]

Keeping a list of things to do and not to do while in conversation is only going to give you more tasks to juggle and create more anxiety. I did it for years and it did exactly that. I got better at faking confidence but never actually got more confident. A bigger turning point was actually getting curious about other people. That naturally makes me open my body to them, address them directly, ask questions about them, etc. Plus with less to think about, when I'm answering their questions about me 1. I actually heard their question and 2. I'm absolutely sure they actually care to hear the answer. That makes me able to tell my story without thinking they might not care and I don't have 7 things juggling in my head to distract me from just telling my damn story.

[naiyalexic]

Shyness is attractive to me. It's vulnerable and sweet. I'm not sure that "confidence" is the most important thing in the world. I feel like we should be more accepting of shy behaviors and let people come out of their shells on their own, rather than demanding they do things or be a certain way. I'm not saying a little confidence doesn't help; I'm saying that not everyone can do it, and that's perfectly fine.

[Devastator]

This channel helped me go through a lot of stuff on work. It's fun to see different characteristics people have in a work environment.

[neverclosetoperfect]

My favorite way to blow off a bad joke is "they can't all be winners" its got this weird level of self-awareness that you gotta try even if it fails, but youre not bothered if it does

[Drillbitayler]

Can I give a tip to people who may find all of this too overwhelming? Just be genuinely interested in people. Ask them about themselves. Dive deeper into their answers, don't just move on to other things. Try to really dig into what they enjoy, why they enjoy it, and then (and this is important). COMPLIMENT them on it. "Wow, that's honestly so cool. Good for you."

This takes "rules" out of it. Just be interested and complement them. Great example of this is Bear Grylls. Anytime he talks to people on his show, he's just SO genuinely interested in them, and rhe love he has for people shines through. He doesn't have to act or think. It's a natural thing for him. And I think it can be natural for a lot of other people too.

[CitronellaKappanucci]

I've loved this channel from day one and you guys have still improved immensely since! I wish I had this channel when I was in high school because I needed it big time! But still your channel and the people behind it have helped me so much and I want to thank you. Keep up the amazing work!

[menoswater]

0:43 The way Matthew is sitting cracks me up💀💀. Bro looks mad comfortable

[sugarfalls]

Even if you're an extrovert, there are a lot of great tips in this video, like not using filler words and not going along with the crowd when you fill strongly about something. Great advice!

[shmlanda]

As a CODA, someone with (a) deaf parent(s), I profoundly appreciate the normalization of signed language user inclusion!

[TheNorseDinosaur]

This channel has single handedly made me go from extremely introverted to extroverted introvert, thank you Charlie and Ben, you guys are changing lives.

Edit: Ima just get this out of my system, DAD I'M FAMOUS!
































Dad?