history of the world, i guess but it's clean (for schools)

Here's a little edit I put together of the popular Bill Wurtz video, "history of the world, i guess", but I edited out any profanity, so it can be shown in school without any worry!

[mistervideosoex]

*timestamps for schools:*

0:00 introduction
0:30 creation of the universe
1:04 creation of gases & elements
1:23 creation of stars
1:41 creation of earth
2:10 life on earth
2:32 photosynthesis
2:45 cambrian explosion
2:56 "bye bye ocean"
3:36 dinosaurs & humans
4:21 society & neolithic age
5:00 bronze age
5:55 iron age
12:03 age of exploration
13:37 modern age
17:22 contemporary age
17:59 present
18:39 end/future

[sheepreal]

Someone famous: *breathes*
Bill: *we can make a religion out of this*

[dumbdave]

This is the best cleanest version I've found. Well done.

[Skatcos]

This is just for me dw
7:00 for APWH
11:00
12:22 Christopher Columbus (1492)
13:00 Ottoman Empire (1530)
13:40 Seven Years War (1754)
13:51 Declaration of Independence (1776)
14:15 Napoleon (1804)
14:45 Opium Wars (1839)
15:13 Civil War/Emancipation Proclamation (1863)
15:30 Spanish-American War (1898)
15:50 World War 1 (1914)
16:00 Soviet Union's Communism (1922)
16:30 Germany's Hitler (1933-1945)
17:00 India/Pakistan/Bangladesh (1947)
17:23 North America vs. South America (1950)

[julien.s]

0:01 "You're on a rock floating in space."
Flat earthers : *CONFUSED SCREAMING*

[kie.sjaz.]

"Some stars burn out and die."
"Bigger stars burn out and die.. _with passion_ ."

[FoxTheShadowKing]

my science teacher played this in class yesterday and everyone was watching it. this is literally my favorite video, bill wurtz is awesome 🗣️

[pelman]

the smoothness of this almost makes you forget that there was swearing in the first place; the only place that felt kind of awkward was the amsterdam part but that Already feels awkward, like, in the original, so its fine

[magicrow]

Why did this video come in everyone’s recommendations just now?

[luluthedog]

"I can't even get from here to there without buying a _boat"_

*Proceeds to show plane.*

[Lallint]

I was really curious to see how he handled 12:55 but they handled it pretty well

[songerkids]

my teacher actually used this. my whole class was dying in laughter within 3 seconds

[isabella_michael]

the first 5 minutes taught me more than 6 years of social studies ever did

[toughtiger]

If a school heard this “THE SUN IS A DEADLY LASER”

[Boiled-Oden]

if I was a teacher the original version would be always the introduction for new classes and after the video ends I would verbally discuss it with them and make them pick a subject from the video for next lesson, these would be the smoothest two lessons ever

[migsterbigster]

Teachers : *Teaches histroy throughout the rest of high school in a boring and less fun way*
Bill wutz : Finally a worthy opponent, our battle will be legendary

[wesleymorrison]

Anyone notice that Australia is only a part of history like once

[RainEDM]

This is why whole middle school history class but in 20 minutes.
EDIT
Wow thanks for 500 likes in 3 weeks! This is amazing. I'm trying to hit 1000 subscribers, it would be amazing if you guys could subscribe!

[thecandybarbandit]

“That’s how every it gets”
-Bill Wurtz

[RevisitedPlant]

2:11

Ocean: theres life in the ocean

Narrator: what?

Low pitch chorus: something's alive in the ocean

Narrator: Oh cool, like a plant or an animal?

2nd Narrator: No

Narrator: A microscopic speck. It lives at the bottom of the ocean and eats chemical soup which is being served hot and fresh, made from gnarly space ingredients leftover from when it was raining rocks or whatever.

*Cell divides*

Narrator: oh yeah, and it can do that

*Those cells divide many more times.*

Narrator: It has secret instructions written inside itself telling it how to build another one of itself. So that's pretty nifty, I would say.

Narrator: Tired of living at the bottom of the ocean?

Chorus: Now you can eat sunlight!

Narrator: Using a revolutionary technique, you can convert sunlight into food.

Chorus: Taste the sun!

Narrator: Side effect, now there's oxygen everywhere and the sky is blue. Then the Earth might have been a snowball for a while. Maybe even a couple of times.


Narrator: It's a sponge. It's a plant. It's a worm, and some other types of weird, strange water bugs and strange fish.

Chorus: It's the Cambrian explosion!

2nd narrator: Wow, that's animals and stuff.

Sea life: But we're still in the ocean. Hey, can we go on land?

Chorus and the Land: No!

Sea life: Why?

Chorus as the Land: The sun is a deadly lazer!

Sea life: Oh, okay.

Chorus: Not anymore, there's a blanket.

Narrator: Now the animals can go on land. Come on animals, let's go on land.

Fish: Nope, can't walk yet. And there's no food yet, so I don't care.

Land: Okay, will you learn to walk if there's plants up here?

Some bugs and fish: Maybe

Narrator: ...said some bugs... and fish.

Frog: Okay, so I can go on land, but I have to go back in the water to-

Chorus: Have babies!

Narrator: Learn to use an egg.

Frog: I was already doing that.

Narrator: Use a stronger egg. Put water in it. Have a baby, on land, in an egg. Water is in the egg. Baby, in the egg, in the water, in the egg.

Frogs: Works for me.

Chorus: Bye bye, ocean!

Narrator: And now everything's huge. Including bugs. Wanna see a map of the land?

2nd Narrator: Sure.

Narrator: Oh, now everything's dead. Just kidding, here are the survivors.

Narrator: Keep your eye on this one...

Narrator: ...'cause it's about to become the dinosaurs. Here's another map of the land.

Narrator: Yeah, it broke apart. Don't worry about that. It does that all the time.

NARRATOR: Here comes a meteor.