YouTubers Don't Understand: Non-Binary People | Messy Elliott

SOURCES:
Judith Butler - Gender Trouble
National Science Foundation - Language Change
ICD-10 - Gender Identity Disorders
ICD-11 - Gender Incongruece
The WHO says being transgender is a mental illness. But that’s about to change.
Removing transgender identity from the classification of mental disorders: a Mexican field study for ICD-11
White matter microstructure in female to male transsexuals before cross-sex hormonal treatment. A diffusion tensor imaging study
The microstructure of white matter in male to female transsexuals before cross-sex hormonal treatment. A DTI study
Sex beyond the genitalia: The human brain mosaic
Genders and Individual Treatment Progress in (Non-)Binary Trans Individuals
Exploring gender identity and community among three groups of transgender individuals in the United States: MTFs, FTMs, and Genderqueers
About Sylvia Rivera Law Project

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[ichbinben.]

I'm also German and I'm trans. I started hormone treatment a year and a half ago and had top surgery four months ago. People always look at me like I'm crazy when I tell them I don't want bottom surgery. Like I should hate my vagina. I don't particularly like it, but I don't have a problem with it. If I could snap my fingers and suddenly have a penis, I'd probably do it (except I can't snap my fingers, but if I could), but why should I want to have bottom surgery, which like any surgery has the possibility to go wrong, when I don't even know if I will like the result. I'm just used to having a vagina, and I'm like: "Never touch a running system", it works for me, I'm not dysphoric about it, so why should I change it, when the cost is so much higher than the benefit?

It's funny how confused people are when I wear make-up or shop at the women's section in a store. Especially if they know me and know that I'm trans. They think I should be trying to appear super masculine and despise anything feminine. But I like make-up and women's clothes just fit me better, since although I'm taking testosterone, it takes a while for the body fat to redistribute, so I have relatively small shoulders and broader hips, so men's clothes often don't fit me so well, although that has already started to change a little. And I mean, it's just fabric! And it's not just regular people who react like that. When I changed my name and gender legally, I needed two psychologists to "prove" to the court that I'm really trans. One of them was just a total asshole who didn't believe me and even yelled at me, and when I cried, he saw that as proof that I'm not really a man. Strangely enough, he did write to the court that I am trans, don't know why, but I just accepted that. The other one was nice, but he, too, was fixated on that weird binary sense of gender expression. He asked my what toys I played with as a kid. I told him I played with everything, Barbies, dinosaur figures, or just played outside with my sister. He asked me if I disliked playing with Barbies, but got them anyway as presents from relatives as I was a girl. I said no, I liked it, I wanted barbies for my birthdays. He asked me if I had Ken dolls, too, I said yes. In his letter to the court, he wrote that I played with dinosaurs and Ken dolls. Maybe he knew that this was nonsense, but thought that it was better to leave "girly" things out, so the court wouldn't question my masculinity.

Sorry for this long paragraph, I don't know exactly why I wrote all of this, but here it is. People are just too fixated on what's "masculine" and what's "feminine". It's understandable, since humans always try to sort everything into categories, that's just how our brains work. But then people get upset because some just don't fit either category and refuse to pretend to fit in. And instead of acknowledging that their categories might be flawed and accepting new categories, they tell themselves that everyone who doesn't fit into their worldview just does it for attention. Anyways, great video. I usually don't watch English channels of German YouTubers, since I really don't like German accents. But yours isn't too bad ;)

[sShi]

It sucks that people immediately show such a disgusting/annoyed reaction, but I’m glad to have more representation with people like you speaking up and out- keep fighting the good fight 👍

[lebewesen]

Kannst du nicht wieder deutsch reden? plis? its my free time when i watch theese videos and i dont wanna use my brain😢😢 but i guess its a nice video..
Ok man merkt meine Bildung ist echt am arsch.😂

[xz]

You talk of rigid gender boxes but it is only NBs that seem to impose boxes and rules. People in first world countries have a free choice about how they live and are not hemmed in by female and male so-called gender roles. There is no compulsory way to live according to male and female gender. The only gender pressure seems to be within NB.

[cartcart]

Thank you so much!! I'm really tired of typing "non-binary" into YouTube search and getting tons of videos telling me I don't exist or am actually my assigned gender at birth. I understand these people might not realize what they're talking about, but it's still frustrating and makes me (I suspect, not only me, haha) feel bad. Ugh.
Also, scientific approach? High-five! I really loved the way you presented everything and didn't even realize at first that the video was that long. It felt quick, interesting and validating. Also, if I'm allowed to say that: good luck with your transition, however and whenever it happens! You're great!

[Butchcavalier]

To be honest, I've never understood why some people feel the need to tell others how or what to feel. We can't look inside other people's heads, we're not fucking wizards, so claiming that some experiences or identities aren't real just makes no sense to me.

[gracelinenfelser]

non binary people, for the 32482748th time: Non-binary isn't always the absence of gender. Non binary is an umbrella term for any gender identity that is not 100% binary male or female. Non binary people have always existed and not every non binary person is agender. Non bi-
binary truscum: umMmMm, , , acTUALLy, my friends cousin's sibling's partner is non binarY soOoOo, , I KNOW what I'm talking about. You're just a trender :///
non binary people: i-

[sadiebelle]

You just woke me up, thank you. "You want to fit in to society and be recognized for who you are at the same time you live a self fulfilling prophecy by enforcing a rigid view of gender the pure act of fitting in becomes more rigid in itself until no one can hold up to those standards anymore"

I never really understood the spectrum and the in between, I.E nonbinary, , but being a trans woman myself I feel as if I've been creating more validation for myself by saying since I picked a gender or whatever and that I was more valid, when in truth it's not really like that at all. I didn't choose to be trans, but I DID choose to socially transition. I've been letting my dysphoria get to me and picking apart the one thing I believed in most such as acceptance for who I am, social validation, How could I be any better if I would keep gatekeeping by saying there are only 2 genders I didn't think about it in this way and I love your explanation of this entire subject, you have a new subscriber! Thank you <3

[juicy]

I respect nonbinary people and i have nonbinary friends but i don't think that i really know what it means or what it feels like to not be just male or female and to be honest i don't blame people that don't understand it Because u can't really understand being nonbinary unless u r experiencing it nice video by the way 💙

[benjischober]

Funny how many people get so much more sarcastic when switching to English

[mandibuckner]

Being non bianary (I am)
Is sooo hard to explain if you've never felt like you were! It's not just being a tomboy or a girly boy it's actually something more which I can't really explain! Gender dysphoria usually plays a part but not always. I just want to say I love all my non bianary peeps out there! You guys are bomb and I freaking love my community!

[griffinraynor]

Thank you for all the tea! This is my first encounter with your channel but I'm already subscribing. As a nonbinary person myself I've found these arguments from people in the trans community in particular so frustrating and counter to everything we should be advocating for. Some of your arguments are very similar to things I myself have argued and thought and it's so refreshing to hear someone else in agreement especially with such a structured and well sourced argument! Thank you for this.

[lol-xswz]

"It all started on Judith Butlers infamous tumblr blog called "Gender Trouble""
This really got me.

[powerpeache]

So I haven‘t watshed the whole video but I wanted to say that I‘m really happy that your doing your videos in english now. Because that means new content from you and an opportunity for me to improve my english. So good luck and I hope you get a lot regognicion for your videos.

[dollsteak]

hey! as a fellow enby, i love this video so much!! i dont usually comment on things, but im so glad other nb people are speiaking up on this. i keep seeing people being so vitriolic towards nonbinary people, and its really lovely to see a bastion of positivity ! (additionally: i love your style of making videos! its very punk rock, im rlly into it)

[sf]

this video is so satisfying because it points out all the fallacies about dysphoria and transitioning that ive been hearing all the time but since i have a pea brain i could never articulate these feelings properly so THANK YOU. also you are very funny

[hannahg]

"We are who we are, having secretly decided who we wanna be." -Oscar Wilde

[marlinfrod]

I really loved this video! It had a lot of useful information while not being too much to take in, mixed with the perfect amount of humor.

Well, for myself I am unsure of my gender and questioning, but I tend to identify as non-binary. It really troubles me as I'd love to come out to people, with not feeling comfortable with being referred to as female. Being in germany also doesn't really help much with that...
Anyways in general I don't really understand why gender has to be such a big argument to the point where it causes hate and people to get hurt. Is being non-binary JUST a lable? What makes a lable? In this matter isn't female and male also a lable? "Back then we called that tomboy" well, guess what happens over time: things change. PEOPLE LEARN (hopefully). I get that this entire topic is a very hard thing to get, but after all I think everyone should be able to reffer to themselves with whatever they feel comfortable with.
Another thing that I have witnessed among a lot of people is that they have an opinion on it - which itself isn't such a bad thing - but not being open for talks, to listen to others and instead invalidate people right away and all that looks like a problem to me. It doesn't leave much place for actual talks, maybe even discussion as they are already so heated up and emotionally involved, that they fall into "I FEEL like this is true. So it is true. And that's all I will ever believe, no matter what you may say." Even better when they are like it makes actual trans people looked at as not existent, making the recognition of them even harder. But isn't that exactly what they are doing to non-binary people...?
I hope things change soon. It breaks my heart to see all the special snowflakes™ getting hurt.

[anactualjoke]

ANTI SJW ANTI FEMINISTS EXPOSED - FACTS OVER FEELS!!!
Seriously Though, Great Video!

[leam.]

Non-binary and proud! Thanks for this masterpiece, Ellie! xx & keep on rockin' 🌈