Are you Attracting Narcissists?

Recently, I have been asked whether ALL women are narcissists. The question has come up a few times which is why in this video, I am addressing the question directly, and providing some suggestions and advice to those who have had a toxic relationship history.

If this video resonates with you, please like, share, and subscribe so that others might find help in it as well! I would so greatly appreciate it. 💜

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It's my intention that everyone who watches gets at least one important take-away. 🙏

About Me
Hi! I'm Lise Leblanc. I am a therapist, life coach, and author of 9 self-healing guides. I have over 20 years of experience in therapeutic, educational, and leadership roles.

Introduction (0:00)
Toxic vs. Healthy (0:45)
Healthy Narcissism (2:10)
Increasing Narcissistic Society (3:26)
Female Covert Narcissist (4:25)
Attracting Narcissists (6:53)

#narcissist, #NPD, #narcissisticpersonalitydisorder, #covertnarcissism, #femalenarcissist

[dkorb]

I have found women in dating apps have an even higher chance of narcissism— I am lucky in the fact that I’ve only dated one narcissist. It almost destroyed my life though— and feel for those that have had a narcissistic partner. It gets better once you let them go and stop trying to protect and save them.

[dreamdiction]

Here is a useful sentence from 'Coach Lee': "If you ever notice that you are doing things for her that you can't imagine her doing for you . . . walk away. Even if she isn't a clinical narcissist, she is a society-made narcissist and it doesn't really matter what diagnosis they have - if she acts like a narc, you want to get as far away as possible."

[michaelwhite]

I'm at the point where I instantly recognize when someone is displaying narcissistic tendencies. I always give women multiple chances because we all can be narcissistic at times.. but every relationship gets to the point where they are clearly only in the relationship for supply with no intention of reciprocation.. so I slow down the relationship to see what happens.. they almost always bail in order to find another guy they can manipulate into getting their needs met.

I've met one woman in the past 2 years who I would say was healthy.. similar values and beliefs and authentic in everyway.. but we met at a bad time and were moving to different places.

The struggle I have now is finding a place to reliably meet healthy women. I don't go to bars/clubs anymore.. I try to frequent places of nature or bookstores or anything that would be a place where healthy people go.. but in my experience it's overwhelming how many people display large amounts of narcissistic tendencies and only care about themselves.. let alone people who have begun to heal the generational trauma we've all experienced from the technology/divorce age.

If you took the time to read this I thank you. I'm just a little lost at this point and it's starting to seem that there's a minority of people who take the time to become self aware and do the healing necessary to become a healthy partner.

[Scientology-The-Big-Lie]

The cause of increasing narcissism in society? SOCIAL MEDIA! SOCIAL MEDIA! SOCIAL MEDIA!

[chrisradano]

My wife is definitely not a narcissist (mother definitely is a narcissist). Many giving women out there in the World. Unfortunately, many young men only care about appearances. Oh yes, many male narcissists, too. Another great video. Our society definitely promotes narcissistic behavior. Especially social media. I grew up before the internet. But today I never saw such an abundance of average, boring people that think they are so special and entitled. But they have always been. Social media allows them to flourish. I think in the next 25-50 years people's brains will change again. Just my opinion.

[spindrifter]

My Mother was a narcissist, as are my 1st and 2nd wives. Apparently, so I'm told I've been repeating a pattern of familiarity or as Freud called it Repetition Syndrome. Being with a narcissist is what I was used to and felt natural. How weird is that? This therapist said my 2nd wife had all the hallmarks of a narcissistic sociopath. But now I've researched it I can spot a narc a mile off. Recently I met a woman, we became close and then something happened that made me feel bad and strongly reminded me of my 2nd wife (the most abusive) and so I looked closely at her behaviours and have walked away. I can't say for certain if she's a narc but my gut said, "you've been here before, get out". I guess I may have finally understood what's been going on in my whole life.

[WeAreOurBeloved]

A guy’s hero protector complex may keep him attracted to those narcissistic women. If he doesn’t do the inner work and personal healing that is needed he may never realize what it is that gets him hooked up with those women in the first place.

He may also find healthy and mentally stable women unattractive. Simply because these women will not click with him in a way that the narcissistic women are capable of. Therefore he keeps dating those unhealthy toxic women and keeps missing out on those healthy ones.

Thank you so much for pointing out the importance of looking within ourselves.

[Aidenshale]

I've already did years of therapy, intense workshops on healing childhood trauma, codependency and enabling.. yet here I am, in another toxic relationship.

[fred-pyzz]

This one hit like a sledgehammer your video on female covert narcissists helped me immensely. How the specifics fit perfectly with my last relationship made me realize that it wasn't my fault, that there wasn't something deficient in me as she so masterfully proved to me again and again. It was like a healing tonic. This one made me realize that there is in fact something lacking in me. Both I imagine are true. To clarify I never thought all women are narcissists but to realize every romantic relationship with a woman I've had was abusive is a stark reality. Luckily I have had caring relationships with men so I can remember being cared about, keeping me from the dark pit of misanthropy. My heart certainly goes out to the men that don't have no memory of someone caring about them. The world must be a very bleak place for them. I guess in order to heal we all must take responsibility for our pain no matter who put it there or how young we were when it was given to us. Stay strong fellas and remember even your pain can make you beautiful.

[lesilluminations]

Good advice. We must all learn to recognize our own role in these relationships. Yes, we all have some measure of narcissism but most people are not manipulative and have real feelings of empathy towards others. That's the dividing line for me.

[doganlaw]

Your the best therapist I have ever listened to. Thank you for explaining relationship issues so well.

[pitus]

You REALLY help me understand that I been in a toxic relationshiopship with a narc!
Thanks, I'm still alive (and not in a mental institute) bacause of you, thanks again!

[mrhos]

I wanted to let you know being the YouTube junkie that I've been through my separation and trying to get past and heal, you by far really put it out there so understandable and pleasant. Thank you that's all

[bodybuilder]

PLEASE I BEG YOU keep making videos like that for us men we need more help than anyone else! I was sucked into relationship that I didn’t even want!

[kevinowens]

What I experienced was that my choices were Narricistic females. I discovered That is on me. That behavior changed. However the one thing that was prominent in these Females was the fact that Feminism lied to them just as much as the Narcissist females lied to me.

[frederickvaamonde]

As a consistent and confident man of integrity and character, I still find it in awe amazement that we don’t have a channel to express our abuse, man and suffering in a healthy and ethical way without a misogynist agenda. I only want to heal and was searching for a male based platform. Thank you! I am still paralyzed in disgust, pain and guilt over my SECOND narcissist long term relationship but this time I am obsessed with knowledge, education, emotional intelligence building, proper grieving and permanent healing. I want to love again, I want to give all the love, empathy, protection and affection I have to offer… but I want and demand mutual intentions. Thank you for your guide and please let me know if you offer more individual based therapy approach. Be well and stay in your mission.

[meanotomato]

They're everywhere. I watch them at gatherings and functions. The grandiose ones regale everyone within earshot with horrifying stories about how they humiliate and denigrate their husbands or partners. These poor, destroyed, depersonalised, trauma-bonded, submissive men just sit there, miserably, trying to become even more invisible than they already are.

The more covert narcissist women are on the edge of their seats listening, transfixed, eyes gleaming in the hope of being issued with their flying monkey wings so that they too can fell strong men through narcissism by proxy. Their fervent desire for validation and approval from their grandiose masters is palpable. They may utter a few anecdotes or praises in the hope of achieving this.

The pleasant, normal women usually sit a little further away, chatting quietly among themselves and their partners. But occasionally their eyes may flicker momentarily as the viral mass psychosis of female narcissism attempts to infect another victim.

The older, postmenopausal women, robbed by modern society of their ancient tribal role as matriarchal mentors, carers and organisers of the younger generations, have either rid themselves of their loving but now bewildered spouses - or else reduced them to broken old men who hope only for the sweet release of death. Instead, these older women earnestly advise the young females to become "strong, independent women" (i.e. narcissists) who have their own incomes, homes and the ability to subjugate men into simping subservience to women's egos and avarice.

The causes of burgeoning female narcissism are societal. And 60 years of female birth control has freed women to exploit their sexuality as a powerful currency for narcissistic supply. Childless women and single mothers abound. Population growth is crashing. Single men are now hiding from the predators.

[HonchHeado]

I agree ive been watching society become more narc for 20 odd years people don't care about other people no more only themselves. I call it the age of selfishness.

[diggerbrains]

equally both men and women without doubt..in the bedroom and in the workplace i have had the misfortune of dealing with these damaging demons.

[brockshen]

I appreciate that discourse. I believe that the narcissistic way is increasing and will increase because we are trained to be more self serving than group serving. Selfishness = success. Corporations need to constantly increase sales. Not be concerned with the wellness of people. They make us feel inadequate in their marketing approaches because that's what works for sales. We buy things that we don't need because they market to us in a way that exploits the inadequacies that they produce. The competitiveness in the business world works it's way right into the relationship. No matter how great you are in the world of business, when you come home, change your hat to spouse and a equal member of the family unit. Successful relationships are not possible with 2 me's competing with each other. Narcissism is cultural in this capitalistic world. I agree, keep loving, fix the world, and then let it go. Like you are driving a car, focusing on the front windshield, not the rear view mirror. Lets heal. Thanks for another great talk.