When He's Too Needy For You... - Matthew Hussey, Get The Guy

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Relationships are hard.

Two people can want to be together but have TOTALLY different criteria for the amount time spent together, the amount of affection and hugging they want, and the amount of sex they should have.

So what if this new guy you're dating is amazing…but you don’t feel compatible in your expectations?

In this week’s LOVELife, I speak with a caller who worries if she is TOO independent for her guy, and how she can be honest with him about her need for space without hurting his feelings.
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Links at the End:

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[magneta]

Girl needs to dump him. The moment she said he looks good on paper said it all. She is not interested. She WANTS to like him because he fits her checklist, but in person, he is missing something. Sometimes people look good on paper, but don't translate well in person.

[karencarothers]

Don’t compromise your boundaries to accommodate his emotions. Emotions come and go. Don’t betray yourself to make him happier for a moment.

[MA-ycpz]

I understand her 100% like just because someone who is in a relationship does not mean they have to be together all the freaking time

[natalieannxx]

Haha Matthew's face after she said he is great on paper! 👌🏼

[boomerangsruckflug]

My boyfriend got aggressive, when I needed some time alone especially to do some work for my job. He was like a baby craving for mummy's attention and love. That killed my attraction to him, despite I really loved him in the beginning. A good relationship can only be successful amongst adult and mature people who are able to do things alone once in a while...

[celestecordova]

She’s not talking about sex. She’s talking about overwhelming affection. Everything that she said resonated with me. I like my boyfriend so much at the beginning but then once there was too much affection, it turned me off.

Update: he was a narcissist in disguise.

[reneecaines]

Run!! he will be super needy and affectionate it will change - because it is fake. Love bombing! Respect about time and affection must be mutual - He is just Making sure you are hooked! Insecure person actions Big time!

[Pebelz]

Matt's so good at reading between the lines lol

[NarrowPathDiaries]

‘You should fight the urge to spend all your time with them’ Yes, that’s true. You should. Because after the honeymoon phase is over, it’s quite possible you’ll discover you’re with someone who’s needy & you’ve basically given them the drug they crave. Then when it’s time to shake them off so you can regain some measure of personal space & independence, most of the clingy/needy types get super scared that you’re about to break things off with them

[UrbanFlamingo]

Neediness is a complete turn-off. Being with a guy you "kind-of" like ends up being a waste of time. With school and work, she might be better off just being friends with the guy. She should take time for herself and avoid relationship commitments until her schedule frees up and she meets someone she's head-over-heals for.

[missfisch]

Whether or not this guy is "right" for her or not, I think it can be misleading to tell someone they should be "head over heels" into someone for that person to be worth their time. Honestly, being "head over heels" into someone is not the most healthy and/or realistic way to seek a relationship. I'm not saying you should be "meh" about the person, but the other extreme (i.e. "head over heels") is not a good idea either. I think a lot of people end up with the person that makes them feel comfortable and "at home", and brings out their most authentic self. I'll leave this comment with a quote: “I just wonder how many people never get the one they want, but end up with the one they're supposed to have.”

[NadaAlawadhi]

They always take it personal and get hurt and throw a fit and it’s you who is the bad person. They’re like puppies and it’s like you’re the bad guy for kicking the puppy. But here’s the thing, if you’re too independent and they’re too clingy, it gets too suffocating. There’s no way out than to leave. It’s not about sex. It could also be too much expressions of love and they put you on a pedestal and compliment you excessively that it feels like they’re not even seeing you they’re just obsessing and dreaming and it’s the worst thing in the universe! They are insecure they need to be confident with their own skin. But tell them that, they’ll get defensive saying I’m a kind compassionate guy. I hope this guy healed and Jessica found someone else who lets her breathe but also loves her! And I hope that for everyone stuck in this situation ❤️

[businesslady]

You can be madly in love with someone until you find out they are needy 🤦.

[banzai]

I understand what she means saying she likes him on paper that's not sketchy at all, his neediness is turning her off and preventing her feelings from progressing into something more solid if he loved in such a way that she felt free, she'd be head over heals in love with him, he needs to be a little bit more indifferent about the situation so she feels free to come to him at her own pace, I think it would be more productive for them if matt spoke to the dude to get that across

[progenitortv]

I'm a guy. but I swear his videos are so helpful with my relationship. It helps me gain much perspective and half the time these videos are reversible gender wise. Matt, you're the man, man

[Checkersss]

in my opinion, if you're in grad school and working, and a guy wants more time with you....cut him off. your education and future is more important than a relationship that will probably be temporary

[VLNCN]

this is exactly what I needed to hear. I'm in such a similar situation
I'm gonna stop being a coward and go find somebody I really like

[WhiteSky-twrc]

he sounded very caring when he called her Jessica near the end of the call... I can feel that Matt really is sincere whenever he gives advise. The conversation felt like a big brother having heart to heart talk with his younger sister. :)

[ghosthuntereli]

Sometimes different types of people like being alone no matter how much u like someone. Its that simple. People r different.

[EgmatXelugo]

i was lying in bed with the eyes closed just listening to this video and at the moment 4:57 she said ''on paper he is great'' i had the exact same facial expression with mathew and instantly opened my eyes and saw mathew mirroring my