Burnout, Boundaries, And The Lie Of Consumerist Self-Help

Chelsea sits down with Taylor Elyse Morrison to talk about the bogus culture of self-help that got us to our current era, and how to build something better, regardless of disposable income.

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[Alexthomas]

Chelsea, I would love to hear you interview a woman shift worker, specifically first responder, nurse, front line worker, etc. and how they manage self care, finances, work/life balance.

[maggierobertson]

For me self care is about "preventative maintenance." This means 1) going to bed on time, 2) structured twice per week exercise and 3) meal planning my work lunches. These are crucial for my mental health and to a lesser extent physical health.

[ChloeTheePayne]

57:52 "creating false urgency" is a phrase i'm gonna remember... it's SO easy to feel like certain goals (at work especially but also in other areas of life) are URGENT and i think it will definitely be a helpful check in to keep myself accountable if i can remember to ask myself whether the goal i'm stressing over is ACTUALLY "urgent"/truly time sensitive, or if i'm just putting a lot of pressure on myself unnecessarily... cool, i like it!

[tcwaxwing]

Something I think about is how 'self care' first came to prominence when it was invoked by Audre Lorde as a radical act of political will. That to maintain "the work" you must maintain your spirit, in defiance of a system that doesn't want you to thrive. I understand how terms go mainstream and change over time, and that's fine. (To be clear, it's fine about self care being used now!) But it's really something to consider where it started and then see who took hold of the concept and what they did with it. From solace in the soul to conspicuous consumption.

So I really appreciate this conversation is moving us away from the short-term feelgood, buy-to-feel-better, sensibilities that have trended around "self care." And what to deeply build in community and friendship, and yourself, to re-reclaim self care as long term meaningful benefit.

eta: also, as a not-morning but still very productive person, yes, Thank You. "Do what works for you" is a great mantra, in whatever way we can have it.

Sidenote: I'm EYES ON the sub count and in wait to celebrate that number hitting 1 million!

[talya]

I love that the conversations of some people are more introverted and how that affects financial and social health are opening up 🙌🏾

[jae-annedanae]

I'm only a few minutes in but I'm grateful she highlights that building good self care habits is a skill, and just like any other skill, it takes time to build. Sometimes I can get on myself for only doing a good thing for a while then stopping or going back on my progress but this is a good reminder that those kind of good long term habits dont come overnight

[MiniNymph]

The distinction between nourishing and comforting helped me so much! Comfort is still important, after doing something nourishing that took a lot now, I tend to do something comforting. Eg, after doing my busy day chores, I have a lie down. It also means I have the energy to do something else nourishing after the comfort, like reading or sending important messages.

[TwirlGirl]

If the acidity of tomato based sauces bugs your body try putting a little baking soda or even a 2 inch hunk of carrot in your pasta sauce as it is simmering. The carrot is the traditional way if cutting acid in tomato sauce, it adds a nice sweet flavor but isn’t great for short term because it needs time to cut the acid. For quick sauces (or if you don’t have fresh carrots hanging around) a teaspoon or two of baking soda will cut the acid right away. It can help with the throat burning as mentioned in the video and also with lower GI troubles stemming from excessive acid.

Sometimes self care is finding ways to still enjoy the foods we love with new preparations that allow our bodies to make peace with the dish. Like using carrots or baking soda to cut acid in a soup or sauce or using garlic and onion powder to replace real garlic and onions if fodmaps give you trouble.

[andreadekrout]

Love the comment on how if you are child free and want to keep your friends after they have kids you have to be ok with a very uneven relationship. My only comment is, as "an elder millennial" I now know these relationships will never ever be even again. Some people you love enough to be ok with it forever, most not, but it won't change so you need to decide.

[wanderwithbree]

Just halfway through and had to pause to tell you how much I’m loving this discourse between two successful, brilliant people. Thank you for this ❤❤❤

[ellenmint]

RE: Tomato allergies. I have the same and I've started using roasted beets as a stand-in for pasta sauces. It's not easy and I use a lot of fish sauce to add umami back but it works as a replacement.

[PhilippaBradley]

One of the best episodes of TFC, hands down 🙌

[Forceprincess]

I'm about halfway through, but I am loving this video. Very stimulating conversation ❤️

[njdinostar]

Wow! She is so wise, thank you for introducing her to me, and for this conversation!

[veronica_sawyer]

I love the concept of setting people up for success! Especially with romantic partners. Tell them what you want so they don't have to stress about guessing correctly and you can both feel happy.

[nicolewin]

I am telling you, let yourself eat as much sugar as you want. IE get rid of the restriction mentality, you will get sick of the sweets. Because you know you'll be able to eat it whenever you want. The more you restrict the more you want it will be more inclined to binge or over do it.

[Grace-jbme]

I think the problem is that in friendships people will label you as clingy and needy and you’ll be socially cancelled. Apparently having tough conversations about needs/ expectations/ habits of behaviors is only reserved for romantic partners.

[_.-ana-._]

That was an absolute delight to listen to.

[Stay_Playful]

It's scary how the way both of you think and speak is so similar to myself, its affirming but also freaking me out so much ill have to come back to finish watching it later when im less spooked

[Mpanzir]

The point about 'making up a story' about how the person means to do you wrong when there might just be a communication issue reminds me of the book Conflict Is Not Abuse by Sarah Schulman.