They Say They’re Not Ready for a Relationship...

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When we’re stuck in a situationship with someone who doesn’t know what they want, it’s incredibly frustrating. As soon as we like someone and hear the words “I’m not ready for a relationship right now,” it feels like we’re suddenly back to square one!

If you’re tired of not knowing where you stand, you’ve come to the right place. In this video, I share 5 signs that can reveal if someone is ready for a relationship, plus a key question you can ask yourself and use anytime you feel stuck or confused.

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▼ Chapters ▼
0:00 – 1:31 – The Logic We Feed Ourselves
1:31 – 3:26 – #1 Is This Situation Really Equal?
3:26 – 5:21 – #2 Being Honest About the Risk
5:21 – 6:33 – Investing in Someone Who Chooses Another Person
6:33 – 8:39 – #3 They Have to Be Present to See You
8:39 – 10:17 – When They’re Dating Multiple People
10:17 – 12:00 – When Exclusivity Comes Into the Picture
12:00 – 14:51 – #4 The Best Chance of Them Seeing Your Value
14:51 – 18:13 – #5 “Is This What I’ve Held Out for?”
18:13 – 18:59 – The 3 Relationships

[denisesantiagofernandes]

I walked away from a situation like this last month. After three months dating, I finally had the courage to ask him what direction we were heading into and the answer was “we’re living different moments”. I agreed with him and said goodbye. My time and energy must be not wasted in vain. I prefer staying single and keeping looking for someone who’s right about me.

[Magnus_Kitty]

No. They don't like you. They just want you when it's convenient for them or they want attention. Have self respect and don't be someone's back-up plan.

[XYZ-quyq]

Ready for sex but not ready for a relationship. If you are not on the same page, you must tell him you're not a match because of that.

[dzxuruc]

I’ve seen couples in long term “serious” relationships, with the female waiting for the man to be ready to marry. After years the guy meets a girl and breaks off with his long term fun girl to instantly live and marry the girl they recently met. If they aren’t ready for a serious relationship it means you aren’t the one for them. They are enjoying what you give while they are still looking and waiting for better. Never throw yourself away like this

[DavidCartmellDJCartmell]

Whether you’re a man or woman or whatever sexual orientation you should never ever wait for anyone’s feelings to change. It’s hard but necessary to walk away and and putting your needs first. Attraction isn’t a choice. A person likes you or they don’t it’s simple logic. A person who wants you makes it easy and effortless and those who don’t make it hard and mess you around. Be with those who celebrate your presence as opposed to those who barely tolerate. Don’t waste time waiting for someone’s feelings to change you could waste a whole lifetime.

[vilmacabanbabilonia]

No. Don't wait. Run before you get more attached.

[franchic]

"I'm not looking for anything serious." = "I'm into you, I'm just not THAT into you." Brilliant advice as usual, Matt. Especially those last 3 insights. In French there's a phrase: "Tu me fuis, je te suis. Tu me suis, je te fuis." ("You leave me, and I'll follow you. You follow me, and I'll leave you."). Nothing sends a stronger signal to a guy than leaving. It's a real litmus test. That's when they usually wake up and decide to either leave their comfort zone or stay in it. You benefit either way! IMHO a lot of this hoping and settling comes from being scared to be alone. The minute you take up hobbies, interests, and get BUSY, and appreciating the life you're creating for YOURself, BAM! someone cool and perfect for you enters your life. Love the background, BTW, with the books and the plants, very warm, it really works.

[bb]

I cannot believe this video came to me when i was in this situation 2 days ago.

[tedtalksrock]

Also, leaving someone who is keeping you on a string gives yiu the opportunity to build strength and self-worth. Because you’ve made a choice that prioritizes yourself. This in itself prepares you to be valued in a relationship. Paying the cost of sacrificing someone to you love who isn’t loving you back, pays off in significant boost in self esteem and confidence. I left the guy who strung me along for years and it was SO HARD…but I made the choice to treat myself with the kindness I deserved and left him in the belief that someone better who would love me was out there. It took 3 years but I met my now-husband, and I was READY for that love when he came into my life in large part because of the strength in my self that I developed through leaving the string-along guy. It was WORTH IT. ❤

[XYZ-quyq]

When a man honestly tells as woman, he is not ready for a relationship, she must believe him. If she wants to be in a relationship, but he doesn't, she should tell him: 'It's not a match then', and she should find someone who is ready for a relationship.

[TraceyBarracloughInspiration]

Life’s fleeting. Don’t settle. Don’t breadcrumb. It’s taken me many (painful, ouch) years to get to this point. And whilst I’m not a relic, I’ve roamed the earth longer than some 😂 Mindset is everything x

[lrcopby]

This made me realize that I need to stop WAITING for him to make the decision of, IF he really wants a relationship with me or not! He’s giving me NOTHING and I’m still sitting here giving him a chance and it’s only been 2 months!

[jan]

this was the best video to give me the strength I needed. It confirmed my decision to say bye, bye, bye to the one who didn't make me a priority in his life

[MommaARA]

The answer is No. This does not mean they are bad for not being ready or you are bad for not wanting to wait. It only means you are both at different spots in your journeys and have different needs. Trying to force or put up with the situation will leave one person feeling pressured and boundaries disrespected and the other will feel hollow and unwanted. Go your separate ways and seek out those who align with your spot in life right now and for the near future.

[dragonflyj]

"This is what I held out for?" Cant get this question out of my mind. It is one of those lessons that you never forget. Thank you!!🙏

[torilewis]

I’m so glad I left! Every mindset you gave resonated with the situation I was in. We give ourselves that false hope but “leaving is your best shot at finding something better.”
Thank you for this!

[Cam._S]

I’m a man and I just ended things with a woman who wasn’t ready for anything serious. I made the mistake of over investing and really giving her all I had the first two or three months we were together. That made it really hard to walk away because I kept hoping she would come around. Even after I ended things I felt like if I waited that she might come around in a few months and be open to a relationship. This video helped me realize that I just need to move on and let her go.

[sakutaromusik]

i was in this he told me he needs time, that he doesn´t want a relationship yet, but if he changed his mind he would tell me he also gave me assurance by saying he won´t meet or date other people. fast forward a year later and I found out that he was dating another girl for about 5 months now and has feelings for her and he dropped me like garbage

[Sparksflymich]

LOVE THIS TOPIC MATTHEW. I was in this situation for 7 months and decided to cut them off because they said they are not ready to commit. Don't know what the hell does that mean but it definitely hurts!

[christinekohler]

Believe them when they say it. I’ve been through this twice. Actually WASTED some prime years age 27-35 waiting on the same guy to commit to our relationship. Very sad! Looking back. I wish I could go back and change all that. This time it only took me one week to change the story in my head. Said he is not ready right now. And I’m in full acceptance. Thank God! We stopped communicating early. True blessing! To all the Women out there.