French Pre-Dreadnoughts - When Hotels go to War

Today we take a brief look at the design history of the French pre-dreadnoughts.

[derfunkhaus]

The designers perhaps misunderstood what was meant by the request to design an offensive ship.

[cosmoflanker]

Yamato: "I am not a hotel!"
French Pre-dreadnoughts: "And for how many nights will Monsieur be requiring a room?"

[kyle]

The first British pre Dreadnoughts looked like beautiful steam liners with a few guns. The first French ones looked like the boiler room of my old school.

[pistonar]

It's a tragedy that some of these ships don't exist anymore. They're hilariously configured, and I would love to have a stroll through one.

[derfunkhaus]

Admiral: The mere sight of the new battleship should strike terror into our enemy's heart.

Naval architect: (taking notes and murmuring to himself:) Ship... must have... terrible appearance...

Admiral: Her pugnacious appearance should repulse the enemy.

Naval architect: (taking more notes) Repugnant appearance.(scribbles) Ah yes, Admiral! She shall be repulsive indeed!

Admiral: After all, our goal is to repel the enemy.

Naval architect: _Oh yes_ Monsieur, she will be _most repellent_ . I shall see to it!

Admiral: The enemy should feel overmatched just beholding her! Just imagine, they shall feel sick in their hearts when they consider engaging her in battle!

Naval architect: (taking notes and talking to himself) Spectators... should be overwhelmed with ... nausea... and ... (scribbling) despair in their hearts. 

Admiral: She should be so awesome that the enemy sailors would just as soon mutiny than engage her battle.

Naval architect: I understand, Admiral! (scribbling and murmuring to himself:) Revolting appearance.

Naval architect: Anything else, sir?

Admiral: Of course she must have big guns and be capable of carrying out offensive maneuvers against an opposing fleet.

Naval architect: (putting his notebook in his pocket) Oh yes, she shall be _most offensive_ . Believe me, Admiral. She shall be made to clash in every way you can imagine.

[RamadaArtist]

*opening title card:*
"5 Minute Guide to Warships"
*video length:*
48 minutes and 50 seconds

[demos]

Ship designer: which of these designs do you want?

Government: Yes.

[theleva]

Can't explain why, but the phrase "Burned down, fell over, and then sank into the swamp" comes to mind.

[unfurling]

My sense of aesthetic may be offended but my imagination absolutely LOVES these ships. Many of them look like citadels or shanty towns. Extremely cool in a steam punk way.

[victoriacyunczyk]

French Government: *holds a competition to choose ONE company to build battleships*
French Government: Why are we having this competition again? *promptly gives contracts to every company that applies*

[jlvfr]

Pre-dreadnought ship designer: So, Admiral, what gun caliber do you want on the ship?
Admiral: I want *_all the calibers_* !!
Pre-dreadnought ship designer: But...
Admiral: *_All the calibers_*

[disbeafakename]

You have to give the French credit though. They got 5 different lessons without building 5 classes. By making 5 seperate ships, they experimented with all the things they wanted to learn, and learned all the lessons at once.

[allenatkins]

"We have the Hilton in range sir!"

[dlegofan]

I imagine these ships being sold by a car salesman: "This ship has so many guns that her guns have guns!"

[williamcote]

Just a little note: while "Démocratie" is written with a "T", the "T" is pronounced like a "C". Don’t ask me why we write it with a "t" instead of a "c" I don’t know. Probably a vestige from Latin if I had to take a guess.

[antagonist]

"If you cannot *be* an offensive asset, at least look the part." - unnamed French admiral, ca. 1890.

[namegoeshereorhere]

When I see French pre-dreadnaughts it makes me think of what a battleship should like like in a Looney Toons cartoon sort of way.

[kubix]

Aircraft Carrier - Enterprise
Battleship - Bismarck
Cruiser - Hood
Destroyer - Grom
Submarine - Kursk
Hotel - Trivago

[teknonaught]

Ah, Drach's specialty.. a brief look video clocking at 45+ minutes 😁

[obfuscated]

A video on pre-dreadnought power, electrical, water supply and other systems would be quite interesting. While locomotives are covered in detail there is far less material for contemporary iron ships.